In this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success, Cindy Esliger dives into an uncomfortable workplace reality: some people genuinely want to see us succeed, while others see us as a convenient stepping stone for their own advancement. She explains how many of us, especially women in male-dominated environments, are conditioned to be helpful and accommodating without questioning whether those relationships are reciprocal. Cindy discusses how misplaced loyalty, people-pleasing, and a lack of discernment lead us to invest valuable time and energy in relationships that drain our resources while advancing someone else's agenda.

Cindy examines four limiting beliefs that keep us trapped in unhealthy workplace dynamics: 1. We should help everyone who asks because it’s the right thing to do. 2. If we’re too cautious about who we trust, we’ll seem paranoid or difficult. 3. We need to prove our worth by being selfless and accommodating. 4. Everyone is watching and judging us, so we can’t afford to be selective. She also shares six warning signs that someone may see us as a pawn rather than a valued colleague, including one-sided reciprocity, private support without public backing, credit and recognition issues, emotional manipulation, energy draining interactions, and gaslighting disguised as support.

To help us build healthier professional relationships, Cindy outlines five overlooked insights. She encourages perspective taking, understanding the difference between commitment and compliance, paying attention to specific recognition, remembering that most people are focused on themselves, and recognizing that people get more of what they tolerate. She then details six practical strategies that help us focus on what we can control: 1. Develop a boundary script arsenal, 2. Address issues early, 3. Shift our self-talk, 4. Anticipate the testing of our boundaries, 5. Move beyond our fear of judgment, and 6. Follow through. Cindy challenges us to conduct an energy audit of our workplace relationships and invest intentionally in people who genuinely support our growth and long-term success.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Building Your Real Support System At Work
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

—

Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.