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Business Pants

Business Pants

著者： Free Float Media Inc.
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Whether you love business news or feel like you’re supposed to know it but hate it, Business Pants is business news for humans. Snarky and irreverent, deeply researched and factual, a podcast devoted to market quirks and the humans that make up companies. Investing isn’t a what, it’s a who.

2024, Free Float Media Inc. 個人ファイナンス 政治・政府 経済学
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  • JPMorgan week, ESG ratings are back, AI doublespeak

    JPMorgan week, ESG ratings are back, AI doublespeak
    2026/06/26
    Story of the Week (DR):JP Morgan’s news weekThe Lurid Lawsuit, Salami Scandal and Trash-Can Thief Vexing JPMorgan’s PR Department AND Meme of 'JPMorgan's HR Department in 2026' Has People in Stitches Amid Sex Scandal and Knicks Bin IncidentShe Stole a Knicks Trash Can Off the Street and Lost Her Job at JPMorganThe Trash Bin That Cost Her Career: Who Is Angie Báez? JPMorgan DEI Executive Fired After Viral Knicks Parade VideoThe Trash-Can Thief: Angie Báez, an Executive Director of Community and Industry Engagement at the bank, was captured on a viral video during the New York Knicks championship parade emptying a public trash bin onto a Manhattan sidewalk so she could steal the limited-edition, blue-and-orange Knicks-themed container.The Resolution: JPMorgan quickly terminated her employment after the video went viral. Báez eventually returned the trash bin and was issued $175 in sanitation fines.But what kinds of thing DON’T get you fired and get you fined?In 2023, JPMorgan Chase agreed to a $290 million (1,657,143x) settlement to resolve a class-action lawsuit from survivors of Jeffrey Epstein. The bank was accused of actively ignoring glaring red flags and helping bankroll Epstein’s sex-trafficking operation for 15 years.Internal documents and later congressional probes revealed that the bank processed roughly 4,700 suspicious transactions totaling $1.1 billion for Epstein. They failed to file a single Suspicious Activity Report (SAR) until after his death.Who Kept Their Job? Mary Erdoes: The Head of Asset & Wealth Management was fully aware of Epstein’s status as a high-risk sex offender, reviewed his account, and was directly implicated in internal communications regarding his status. She faced zero professional demotions and remains one of the top candidates to eventually succeed Jamie Dimon as CEO.In 2020, JPMorgan Chase entered a deferred prosecution agreement and agreed to pay a record $920 million (5,257,143x) to settle federal charges of market manipulation.For nearly a decade, traders on JPMorgan’s precious metals and U.S. Treasuries desks engaged in "spoofing"—placing tens of thousands of fake, deceptive orders to artificially move market prices and maximize their own profits. The FBI stated that traders "openly disregarded U.S. laws."While a couple of mid-to-high-level traders (like Michael Nowak and Gregg Smith) were later criminally convicted and sentenced to prison, the executive leadership team responsible for supervising them and implementing compliance programs suffered no casualties. Top management stayed perfectly secure, chalking the multi-million dollar fraud up as the work of a few "bad apples."The Salami Scandal: Veteran wealth manager Brent Bodner was fired by JPMorgan in 2024 after he expensed a $642.50 deli platter (containing wings, sandwiches, and salads) for a Super Bowl gathering at his Beverly Hills home. The bank accused him of intentionally misclassifying a personal party as a pre-approved business meeting.Bodner counter-sued, jokingly dubbing the controversy the "salami incident." He argued that the event was a legitimate client-acquisition dinner that only two prospects ended up attending, and that the minor coding error was used as a pretext to push him out.The Resolution: A FINRA arbitration panel sided heavily with Bodner, ruling that JPMorgan acted preemptively out of paranoia that brokers were leaving for rivals. The panel ordered JPMorgan to pay Bodner $4.25 million in damages.The Lurid Lawsuit: Chirayu Rana, a former vice president on JPMorgan's leveraged finance team, leveled highly salacious allegations against his female supervisor, Executive Director Lorna Hajdini. Rana’s lawsuit alleges he was subjected to a campaign of racial discrimination, severe harassment, and forced sexual relations under the threat of having his career sabotaged.The Resolution: Rana rejected a $1M settlement offer, countering with a demand for up to $22 million before escalating the fight to court. Both Hajdini and JPMorgan strongly deny the allegations as entirely fabricated, and the legal battle is moving toward a highly publicized trial.JPMorgan Chase promotes Petno, Rohrbaugh to copresidents, setting up two more successors for DimonThe Wait to Replace Jamie Dimon Keeps Getting Longer: Another potential successor, Marianne Lake, is leaving JPMorgan, as the longstanding chief executive enters his third decade atop the bank.How JPMorgan went from 3 female CEO contenders to an all-male succession raceJPMorgan named Doug Petno and Troy Rohrbaugh, current co-heads of the bank's commercial and investment bank, as co-presidents, setting them up as the frontrunners to succeed longtime CEO Jamie Dimon. Their promotions, the bank said in a press release, "are part of the Board's ongoing succession planning process."Petno and Rohrbaugh were among a handful of powerhouse candidates poised to succeed Dimon, including Jennifer Piepszak, chief operating officer, Marianne ...
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    1 時間 2 分
  • NUGS: Zuck’s vending machine offer, Bezos hates everyone, Thiel does ESG ratings

    NUGS: Zuck’s vending machine offer, Bezos hates everyone, Thiel does ESG ratings
    2026/06/23
    DR1Our Tech OverlordsIn our 'Elon Musk's alibi to police was, "It couldn’t be my fault; I haven’t been at Tesla since they passed my pay package."' headline of the week. Tesla Under Fire After Car Smashes Into Texas Home and Kills 76-Year-Old Grandmother*************** In our 'Hello, my name is Jeff, I have a younger brother and sister, my favorite food is Betty Crocker pancakes, and I am a Coupon-ism major at Columbia University' headline of the week. Jeff Bezos Called Washington Post His Worst Investment and Staff He Laid Off ‘Terrible’ People*************** LivingSocial (Written Down 2016): In 2010, Amazon poured $175 million into this daily-deals competitor to Groupon. The daily-deals craze fizzled out quickly, and six years later, LivingSocial was acquired by Groupon for effectively $0In our 'Just tell them it will make their Netflix better' headline of the week. Head of Microsoft Rages at His Fellow CEOs for Admitting What They’re Actually Doing to Society With AI*************** “You can’t say, hey, all white-collar jobs are gone and this could even be a weapon and we will use all the power to build data centers,” Nadella explained(Microsoft’s own AI CEO Mustafa Suleyma, it’s worth noting, very recently claimed that AI was on the verge of performing most “professional tasks.”)Nadella is now pushing an approach that factors in the common worker, criticizing those who get excited to announce AI-driven layoffs. “No, how about we think about reorganizing the jobs?”In our 'Mark has super-duper pinky-promised to stop using his $150,000 Patek Philippe watch to time exactly how long it takes a developer to cry' headline of the week. Meta CTO Admits Mark Zuckerberg Has Completely Crushed Employee Spirits*************** In our 'Hey Ma, every time I click on this ad it wipes my butt, buys a dozen frozen turkey burgers, and breaks up with my girlfriend, tell Dad!' headline of the week. These new Amazon ads don’t just recommend products—they can make your purchases for you***************MM1In our 'What if I replace the Oreo knockoff brand Kroger Chocolate Lovers Kid-O's with Hydrox in the vending machines? Will you like working here again?' headline of the week. Meta Floats Bigger Snack Budget After AI Shakeup Tanks Employee MoraleIn our 'What if I make it LOOK LIKE your job isn't harming children, so you can tell your Mom at Thanksgiving, "no, we don't hurt children, that's ridiculous!"? Will you like working here again?' headline of the week. Meta lobbies Congress for immunity from lawsuits alleging online harm to childrenIn our 'OK, what if I replace the HYDROX with ACTUAL OREOS in the vending machines? Not even Elon Musk would do that - would you like working here again?' headline of the week. X tells 'neglected' Meta employees that it is hiring and will 'exceed any snack budget offer'In our 'I should have gotten the worst possible grade for GOVERNANCE, not ENVIRONMENT... don't you people read?' headline of the week. Musk Furious After SpaceX Stock Get Worst Possible Environmental GradeIn our 'Free Float data already created influence metrics, says, "make your own ESG data, jerk"' headline of the week. Inside Peter Thiel's Invite-Only Dialog Network: Secret A-B-C Grading System for Billionaires and PoliticiansGrades are assigned based on factors including fame, wealth, influence and political fit: C ratings go to the most prominent figures, A to those who are established but less high-profile, and B to most othersDR2The StupidIn our 'Target screams, you're supposed to fake fire your CEO and make him Executive Chair and promote the COO in times of internal crisis!' headline of the week. Lucid Motors Fires 18% of Workforce and Axes COO Marc Winterhoff as EV Market Slowdown Hits Hard*************** In our 'Target screams, yes exactly!' headline of the week. Domino's names COO Joe Jordan as new CEO amid slowing sales***************Outgoing CEO Russell Weiner will transition to executive chairmanIn our 'Group of experts suggest painting the pool blue to get rid of the problem' headline of the week. ‘ESG Hasn’t Gone Away’: Group Urges Trump, SEC to Rein In ‘Big Three’ Asset Managers’ Voting Power Long Term*************** Bull Moose Institute: 8 men, 0 women: ran by Aiden Buzzetti, President | 1776 Project Foundation & Bull Moose ProjectIn our 'Soccer 1, Child Care 0' headline of the week. After forcing workers back to the office, Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan Chase are now letting their staff work remotely—but only for the World Cup*************** In our 'Board members include Kimbal Musk, O.J. Simpson, Dana White, Rebekah Neumann, Elizabeth Holmes, Richard Sackler, John R. Tyson, and John T. Walton' headline of the week. Trump Forms UFO Board to Investigate 'Mothership' Orb Threat Over Sensitive National Security SiteJohn T. Walton (1992-2005), the billionaire son of Walmart founder Sam Walton, died in 2005, when the home-built experimental ultralight ...
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    35 分
  • Conservative media dictatorships, manbaby secret clubs, and Zuck has a Casio

    Conservative media dictatorships, manbaby secret clubs, and Zuck has a Casio
    2026/06/19
    Story of the Week (DR):Big Media Dictatorship Craziness MMJustice Department Decision to Allow Paramount Deal Surprised Staff Investigators and US approval of Paramount/Warner Bros. deal surprised DOJ lawyers and The UFC’s Despicable Night at the White House Senior Justice Department officials suddenly closed an eight-month antitrust investigation and approved Paramount’s $111 billion acquisition of Warner Bros. Discovery, shocking career staff attorneys who were preparing to recommend a lawsuit to block it.DOJ investigators worried the combined company's massive debt would prevent it from honoring its promise to release 30 movies annually. However, senior leadership dismissed the debt concerns, arguing the merger would beneficially create a stronger rival to streaming giants like Netflix.The unexpected approval has drawn intense criticism from lawmakers, notably Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.), who suggested the green light from the administration was politically motivated and stated the decision "reeks of corruption."The deal also faces regulatory hurdles at the FCC; despite Chairman Brendan Carr's support, the merger requires a special FCC waiver due to significant equity stakes held by sovereign wealth funds in Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, and Qatar.While the federal government has stepped aside, the mega-merger still faces strict, ongoing antitrust scrutiny from the European Union and potential lawsuits from several state Attorneys General (including California) who insist the merger is not a done deal.Comcast Class A Shareholders Reject $107M Co-CEO Pay as Stock Slid 20%Brian Roberts 34% of vote42% no on pay with Roberts: 80% no without David Zaslav 2025 Pay Rejected By WBD Shareholders In Non-Binding Vote84% no for his $165MNo major shareholder: On the verge of being acquired by the EllisonsFox Corp to acquire Roku in $22B dealFox increased CEO/Chair Lachlan K. Murdoch's target annual bonus to $9M (up from $6M) and target annual equity award to $20M (up from $11M)If the maximum stays: annual from $12M to $18M and equity from $22M to $40MSo a possible increase of $24M“Mr. Murdoch recused himself from all discussions and votes regarding his employment term extension and compensation adjustments”Lachlan = 36% of voteThe government and AIAnthropic and TrumpTrump Blocks Foreigners From Using Anthropic’s Latest AI TechUnder orders from the US government citing national security concerns, AI company Anthropic suspended foreign nationals (including its own employees) from using its most advanced tech and disabled access to its newest Claude models, Fable 5 and Mythos 5.The directive follows a feud starting in February, when the Trump administration barred federal agencies from using Anthropic products after the company refused to grant the military unrestricted access to its AI for mass surveillance and fully autonomous weapons.Anthropic’s IPO pitch has a new problem: the government can shut it downComing just over a week after Anthropic confidentially filed its IPO paperwork, the government-mandated shutdown highlights severe regulatory and geopolitical vulnerabilities that threaten the company's massive valuation and commercial stability.Trump’s Anthropic restrictions may be illegal Bernie and AIBernie Sanders AI sovereign wealth fund bill 2026Sen. Bernie Sanders introduced legislation Thursday that would give the American public a direct 50% ownership stake in the country's largest artificial intelligence companies through a one-time tax on their stockBernie Sanders unveils $7 trillion plan to give Americans control of AI industrySenator Bernie Sanders has introduced a sweeping $7 trillion legislative package aimed at breaking up private tech monopolies and transitioning the development of advanced artificial intelligence into a publicly owned, democratically overseen federal trust.AI dividend: Bernie Sanders pitches $1,000 annual payout from public ownership of AIJim Cramer says SpaceX investors aren't buying earnings — they're buying Elon MuskThe primary critique of ESG investing is about introducing non-pecuniary goals (e.g., lowering carbon emissions, promoting specific boardroom demographics, or boycotting certain industries) into the decision-making process.The Fiduciary Violation: If a fund manager chooses a lower-performing, ESG-compliant investment over a higher-performing, non-ESG investment (like oil, defense, or tobacco), they have violated their Duty of Loyalty by prioritizing social engineering over the client's walletDrunk Crew Causes 30% Pay Cut For A Major Airline CEOAn internal investigation found that two flight attendants had consumed alcohol during their layover period beyond permitted company limits, which set specific restrictions on pre-duty alcohol intake. The airline determined that the consumption occurred the day before departure and represented a breach of internal policy, escalating the matter from a single failed test to a wider compliance...
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    56 分
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