『But For Real』のカバーアート

But For Real

But For Real

著者： Valerie Martin & Emerson Ryder
無料で聴く

今ならプレミアムプランが3カ月 月額99円

2026年5月12日まで。4か月目以降は月額1,500円で自動更新します。

概要

 Welcome to But For Real: the podcast where all your swirling thoughts about mental health, pop culture, and how to human are blended into one delicious variety show, co-hosted by therapists Valerie Martin (resident elder millennial ✌️) and Emerson Ryder (resident Gen Z 🫶).Copyright 2026 Valerie Martin & Emerson Ryder 個人的成功 心理学 心理学・心の健康 社会科学 自己啓発 衛生・健康的な生活
エピソード
  • Boundaries Aren’t B*tchy!

    Boundaries Aren’t B*tchy!
    2026/04/15
    What if the thing you’ve been calling “being rude”… is actually just having a boundary?Yeah. Let’s talk about it.Because somewhere along the way—especially for women, people-pleasers, and anyone raised to prioritize politeness over honesty—boundaries got branded as selfish, cold, or straight-up b*tchy.And honestly? That narrative is doing damage.In this episode of But For Real, we’re doing a full, unfiltered deep dive into boundaries—what they actually are, why they feel so uncomfortable, and how your relationship with them changes as you grow up (or burn out).We’re talking about the subtle ways we’ve been conditioned to shrink, overextend, and contort ourselves to keep the peace… and the moment you realize: “Wait… I actually can’t keep living like this.”We get into the real-life evolution of boundaries—from being overly accommodating and “nice” to realizing that clarity is not cruelty.And yes, we’re saying the quiet part out loud:Not everyone who sets a boundary is a b*tch… …but also? You might have to tolerate being perceived that way anyway.Cool cool cool. 🫠Because boundaries aren’t just personal.They’re relational. Cultural. Political. Survival.So if you’ve ever wondered:“Am I being too much?”“Why does setting boundaries make me feel like I’m doing something wrong?”“How do I stop people-pleasing without becoming an asshole?”…yeah. This one’s for you.Let’s roll the tape.From there, we unpack: Why boundaries are often mistaken for being rude or “difficult”How people-pleasing and politeness culture shape your ability to set limitsThe difference between being a b*tch vs. having a boundaryWhy your relationship with boundaries changes over timeHow burnout and survival instincts force boundary growthThe hidden cost of over-accommodating yourself in relationshipsWhy clarity is actually kinder than silent resentmentHow cultural expectations (especially for women) distort boundary-settingWhat healthy boundaries actually sound like in real lifeWhy being misunderstood is sometimes part of doing it right We talk about:00:00 – Welcome to But For Real01:00 – Why we needed a boundaries deep dive02:00 – People-pleasing, politeness & cultural conditioning03:00 – “Am I rude… or do I just have boundaries?”04:00 – Why boundaries feel uncomfortable (especially for women)05:00 – Boundaries as survival, not just self-growth06:00 – Tea & Crumpets: Olympics, joy, and elite performance08:30 – What high performers teach us about boundaries10:00+ – The real conversation begins: boundaries, identity & growthResources Mentioned:Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US): Call or text 988Find international support: https://www.findahelpline.comreasonstostay.co Connect with Us:Submit a story for The Lore segmentSubmit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segmentReach out: butforrealpod@gmail.com But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.
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    38 分
  • The One About Suicide 💔🫂

    The One About Suicide 💔🫂
    2026/04/01
    We need to talk about suicide… like actually talk about it.Not in the polished, clinical, tip-list way. Not in the fear-based, “don’t say the wrong thing” way. But in the real, messy, human way that most of us have experienced—whether personally or through someone we love.Because here’s the truth: suicide is way more common, complex, and misunderstood than we’re comfortable admitting. And the way we talk about it? Often makes it harder—not easier—for people to feel seen, supported, or safe enough to open up.In this episode of But For Real, we’re going there.We’re talking about suicidal ideation (including the kind that doesn’t mean you actually want to die), the difference between passive and active thoughts, and why so many people feel ashamed of experiences that are actually more common than we think.We’re also unpacking the tension between holding the weight of this topic and still making space for humanity, humor, and connection—because healing doesn’t only happen in sterile silence.And yes… we’re bringing both the heavy and the real.We’re asking:Why is suicide still so stigmatized—even in mental health spaces?What actually counts as suicidal ideation?Is it “normal” to have passive thoughts about not wanting to exist?Why does shame keep people stuck in silence?And how do we talk about this in a way that actually helps?Because here’s the thing:Not every suicidal thought means someone wants to die.But every experience of suffering deserves to be taken seriously.So whether this topic touches your life directly or indirectly… we’re really glad you’re here.From there, we unpack: What suicidal ideation actually is (and what it’s not)The difference between passive vs. active suicidal thoughtsWhy passive SI can be more common—and human—than you thinkHow shame and stigma keep people from talking about their experienceWhy humor can be a legitimate coping skill, not avoidanceHow therapists actually think about and approach suicideWhy overly clinical conversations can feel disconnected—and what works betterHow to support yourself or someone else without defaulting to panic or silenceThe role of lived experience in shaping mental health workWe talk about:00:00 – Why this topic matters01:00 – Can we talk about suicide and still be human?02:30 – Humor as a coping skill (yes, really)03:00 – Content warning + how to take care of yourself while listening04:00 – Personal connections to suicide and why this work matters05:30 – Passive suicidal ideation: what it actually means06:00 – Tea & Crumpets: existential YouTube rabbit holes08:30 – The psychology of death, meaning, and “last meal” thinking09:00 – A movie that explores the afterlife—and what happens next10:00+ – The deeper conversation begins (suicide, stigma, and nuance)Resources Mentioned:Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US): Call or text 988Find international support: https://www.findahelpline.comreasonstostay.co Connect with Us:Submit a story for The Lore segmentSubmit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segmentReach out: butforrealpod@gmail.com But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.
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    1 時間 13 分
  • Is Sex Addiction Really a Thing?

    Is Sex Addiction Really a Thing?
    2026/03/18
    We need to talk about sex addiction — because culturally, this phrase gets thrown around a lot. And depending on who you ask, it’s either a legitimate disorder… or a moral panic wrapped in clinical language.Either way, it is certainly true that some people need expert support to realign their sexual behavior with their values and intentions, and heal any wounds that may underlie sexual acting out. But is addiction the one best model for doing this work?In this episode of But For Real, we’re diving into the messy, controversial world of sex addiction, porn use, and what clinicians actually mean when they talk about “out of control sexual behavior.”Because here’s the truth: the phrase sex addict gets used everywhere — in couples fights, celebrity scandals, religious communities, and treatment centers. But clinically, the picture is way more nuanced.We’re asking:Is sex addiction actually recognized as a mental health disorder?Why does the DSM not include it?What’s the difference between a high libido, a porn habit, and something that’s truly out of control?And how much of this conversation is shaped by moral judgment, religion, and cultural discomfort around sex?Because here’s the thing:Not every high libido is pathology. Not every porn habit is addiction. And not every relationship betrayal means someone has a disease.But if your sexual behavior feels compulsive, secretive, or deeply distressing, that matters — and it deserves real support, not internet armchair diagnoses.In this episode, we break down the history of the sex addiction model, why many sex therapists challenge it, and what a more nuanced understanding of sexual behavior actually looks like.Plus, we explore the role of shame, porn culture, religion, attachment, and emotion regulation — because sometimes behavior isn’t the real issue. It’s the coping strategy underneath it.From there, we unpack: The origin of the sex addiction model and its roots in the 12-step worldWhy “sex addiction” has never been officially recognized in the DSMThe difference between sex addiction, compulsive sexual behavior, and out-of-control sexual behaviorWhy labeling someone a “sex addict” can sometimes pathologize normal sexualityThe cultural factors (religion, gender norms, and shame) shaping the conversationHow porn use actually fits into this discussionThe difference between sexual acting out vs. sexual offendingSigns sexual behavior might truly be compulsive or distressingWhy shame and secrecy often keep people stuck in the cycleHow sex therapy approaches this topic differently than addiction treatmentWe talk about:00:00 – Life hacks: hiccup cures & anxiety nausea tricks05:30 – Tea & Crumpets: internet rabbit holes and cultural commentary09:30 – Step Into My Office: porn, shame, and being labeled a “sex addict”14:00 – The DSM: is sex addiction a real diagnosis?17:00 – Val’s experience training as a sex addiction therapist20:00 – Why the DSM rejected hypersexual disorder22:00 – The shift toward out-of-control sexual behavior frameworks24:00 – Moral shame vs clinically significant distress30:00 – Porn, masculinity, and cultural narratives about sex36:00 – A healthier way to understand sexual behaviorResources Mentioned:The Myth of Sex Addiction by David LeyTreating Out of Control Sexual Behavior by Doug Braun-Harvey & Michael VigoritoConnect with Us:Submit a story for The Lore segmentSubmit a request for advice for our Step Into My office segmentReach out: butforrealpod@gmail.com But For Real on IG: @butforrealpodNow That's What I Call... OKAAAAY PlaylistThe Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenterVal on IG: @valkaymartinThe Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.
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    48 分
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