This week, Trevor, Tom, and Jenn have officially signed with Margaritaville at Sea... or have they? The Golden Crew is back with the most confidently wrong cruise advice ever recorded. From bringing bags of oranges to fight scurvy, to wearing a full tuxedo on the water slide, to paying for onboard shopping with homemade "Carnival Fun Bucks" — this episode is absolutely NOT a guide to cruising. Do NOT follow any of this. Seriously. We mean it. Probably. Happy April Fools from your favorite podcast that is definitely still about Carnival cruising!

The Golden Crew is back and somehow the biggest cruise industry debate this week isn't about loyalty programs or port fees — it's fried chicken. Tom decided to slide into John Heald's DMs with some constructive criticism about Carnival's fried chicken and biscuits, and John's response was... diplomatic. His dog Quantum, however, was not having a great day either, and we have receipts.

We also dive into a wild Reddit story about a passenger who managed to get themselves banned from Carnival after absolutely destroying the presidential suite — and then had the audacity to complain about it online. Sir.

On the more serious side, Alaska cruisers need to pay attention: Tracy Arm Fjord has been pulled from all 2026 itineraries following a landslide and tsunami near the South Sawyer Glacier. The Carnival Spirit, Luminosa, and Miracle are all rerouting to Endicott Arm Fjord for sailings running April through September 2026.

It's a shorter episode this week (Tom's got some stuff going on — we'll leave it at that), but we packed it in. And yes, we noticed your Speakpipe silence. Shame. Shame. Go leave us a message at speakpipe.com/carnivalcruisingpodcastaways — your voice could end up on the show, and honestly it'd be a step up from the cricket sounds we're currently working with.

Until next time — you're unique, you're special, and you're loved. And please, please use the 24-hour room service. The hallway buffet is not a thing.

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The Golden Crew is back and absolutely unhinged as ever. First, big congrats to Tom — his brass band took home a win this weekend, which means Trevor and Jenn have exactly zero excuses next time they lose anything. We kick off the news with some ACTUAL good news: the Carnival Jubilee scored a perfect 100 on its CDC health inspection — that's a first since its 2023 launch, and our home port of Galveston has never looked cleaner. Meanwhile, Royal Caribbean was busy committing an international crime on St. Patrick's Day: no corned beef. Their stock took a hit and frankly, we're not surprised.

We dive into the growing chaos around Carnival's Platinum perks after multiple sailings started pulling priority boarding and early stateroom access — turns out when everyone's Platinum, nobody is. We've got thoughts. Strong ones. Also: the Carnival Firenze is canceling 11 sailings out of Long Beach to reposition to the East Coast, and the West Coast is not taking it well (looking at you, Jenn).

Then there's the TikTok trend of people dragging their mattresses out onto their balconies to sleep under the stars — John Heald has officially had enough, and honestly? Same. Bobby called in on the Speak Pipe to defend Carnival's fried chicken, and Trevor and Tom has never recovered. Plus, MSC Seascape is charging admission to a new after-hours show that includes cocktails — which sounds fine until you realize some guests already have the drink package. Chaos. Pure chaos.

And yes, the Miami road trip comes up. It always comes up. Tom drove for what felt like 27 hours, Megan flew like a genius, and Trevor stared longingly into the Mississippi River. We don't talk about FGGC 1. We just... don't.

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Cruise With us on FRGC 4, September 2026 - Contact Amanda Barmore with Have Luggage Will Travel ⁠https://flow.page/haveluggagewilltravel