He always. She never. I can't trust you anymore. These aren't simply complaints; they are the architecture of a story. And the degree to which a couple is committed to that story is, in Rachelle's experience, very close to the degree to which the couple suffers inside it.

In this episode, Rachelle explores one of the most consistent patterns she encounters in couples work: the pull toward generalization, and what it costs. When two people become entrenched in the narrative of their relationship, they lose contact with the actual relationship; the living, present-moment aliveness unfolding between them right now. She looks at why the story feels safer than specificity, what the move toward genuine presence requires, and what becomes possible when two people are willing, even briefly, to step out of the narrative and encounter each other directly. The episode touches on Rumi's field beyond right-doing and wrong-doing, and the difference between a conversation that ends in threat and one that ends in acknowledgment. It closes with a blessing by Irish poet John O'Donohue For Love in a Time of Conflict from his collection To Bless the Space Between Us.

Referenced in this episode: Rumi, “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there.” John O'Donohue For Love in a Time of Conflict, from To Bless the Space Between Us (2008)

Find Rachelle: rachellelamb.com