It's that time of year: Mother's Day happened last weekend. On a scale of perfectly clean butt to the most poopy of poopy pants, how did the dads do this year? And, in the patron bonus, we get an update on the fire that shut down the entirety of Eli's town!

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A recent NYT article discussed a study outlining the impact of cellphone bans in school. The dads chat about those results, and get into a number of tangents, such as age verification. Then, in the bonus exclusive to patrons, Thomas lays out one of the weirdest medical relationships (his doctor) he's ever been in.

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Eli provides some important news from his corner of the globe (and it hopefully continues to be funny and hasn't resulted in anything terrible for anybody) before the Dads discuss gut reactions to something their kid does that they would have never done themselves as a kid. How do we process that response, and can we eventually calm this response?

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We started this episode with a plan in mind, and then we remembered that ELI BETHESDA BOSNICK went GOLFING (?!) recently and had to stop everything to get the full story. And torment Thomas.

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Spoiler alert: this guy from r/AITA is definitely an asshole, but there's SO much to talk about from his unhinged post. In the story reserved for patrons only, Tom shares the coolest update about one of the kids.

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The dads continue evaluating those morality survey results and there are some WILD positions in this half! Plus the dads categorize the issues they find most immoral.

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After absolutely bonkers Dentist stories, the dads explore a recent Pew Research Center study that surveyed Americans on whether or not various behaviors were moral or not. How are things looking in America these days? Will the dads agree on the morality of these questions, or are we going to get a three bears situation?

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WAIT. NOW TOM'S GONE?! Lydia sneaks on the show as Thomas shares an important Smith Family update (IT'S NOT A FOURTH KID). Eli, Thomas, and Lydia discuss how to support kids through loss, especially when grief (or not grief?) may look different for each of your children.

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