At this Sunday Morning Café gathering, Dr. Tom Wagner welcomes happiness researcher and Washington University professor Dr. Tim Bono for an evening exploring the journey from post-traumatic stress to post-traumatic growth. Through live music from vocalist Jennifer Theby-Quinn and pianist Carl Pandolfi, guided reflection, and open discussion, participants explore how adversity met with reflection and community can become a source of resilience and lasting meaning. Dr. Tom closes the evening with a contemplative meditation rooted in stillness and shared humanity.

Key Takeaways

• Happiness is a direction, not a destination: The goal isn't to "be happy" — it's to become happier. Small, intentional steps matter more than waiting for the perfect circumstances.
• Adversity plus reflection equals growth: Difficulty alone doesn't build resilience. It's adversity paired with community, mentorship, and meaning-making that leads to real growth.
• You're not broken for having bad days: Trying to suppress negative emotions only amplifies them. The goal is to feel them, not fight them.
• Connection is non-negotiable: Rich, satisfying relationships show up in every study as a consistent predictor of well-being, during the good times and especially the hard ones.
• The RAIN acronym for anxiety: Recognize it. Accept it. Investigate what it might be telling you. Nourish yourself thoughtfully.

Lifeline Activity & Reflection Questions

PART ONE

• Make two points on the opposite ends of the paper: One labeled "birth" and the other labeled "now." Draw a line between the two points.
• Identify some of the major high points and low points in your life and graph them according to your age (horizontally) and the feelings in the experience (vertically). Low points will be below your lifeline, high points will be above.
• Connect the points with lines, making a zig-zag line.

Part One Discussion Questions

1. How did each impact you? How has each event contributed to who you are today?
2. What did each experience teach you about yourself? How did it change your perspective on life? Is there anything else important you learned from those experiences?
3. If you could go back in time, is there any aspect of the experience you would approach differently?

PART TWO

• Make two points on the opposite ends of the paper: One labeled “NOW" and the other labeled “FUTURE." Draw a line between the two points.
• Identify at least three hopes, goals, or dreams you have for your future and specify the age when you’d like them to occur.

Part Two Discussion Questions

1. What are some of the biggest challenges you may face in your future? When might these come up? How might they affect the goals and dreams you have for yourself?
2. Is there anything you learned from your previous experiences (either high points or low points) that can help you in the future?
3. What steps are you taking now to help you realize your future dreams and goals? What might be some of the barriers that get in the way?

Resources & Links

• Join us live for the 8/2 SMC Event with special guest Royce Martin: https://www.tomwagnerspeaker.com/events
• SMC events honor that what is deepest within us is most universal between us. Your gift helps create space for reflection, connection, and belonging — donate here: https://gofund.me/d63f2a6a9 100% of donations are dedicated to the costs associated with bringing SMC events to more people, more often.
• Dr. Tim Bono’s book, “Happiness 101”: https://a.co/d/028GLKqQ

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