In this episode, we explore a question many secondary teachers quietly wrestle with, is a relational approach actually realistic in such a complex, high-pressure environment?

The conversation centres on a powerful classroom moment, where what appears to be defiance begins to reveal something deeper about identity, belonging and what sits beneath behaviour. It challenges the idea of behaviour as the problem, instead reframing it as a signal.

We also unpack the realities of secondary school life. With large class sizes and over 100 students a week, meaningful connection can feel out of reach. This creates a tension between what we know works relationally and what the system allows.

A key theme is identity. As peer influence grows, behaviour can become a way for students to gain recognition, maintain status, or cope with challenges beyond the classroom. Alongside this, the episode rethinks resilience, not as toughness, but as something built through relationships and support.

Importantly, this is not about removing structure. It is about balance. Small, intentional actions like consistent routines, simple greetings and moments of curiosity can create meaningful impact, even in busy classrooms.

In This Episode, We Discuss

• What a relational approach looks like in secondary settings
• How behaviour can reflect identity, not just disruption
• The influence of peer recognition on student behaviour
• Why resilience is built through relationships
• How small interactions can have a lasting impact
• The role of consistency and routines in creating stability

Why This Episode Matters

Secondary teachers are constantly balancing behaviour, curriculum, and connection. This episode offers a grounded perspective on how relational practice can still exist within those pressures.

It’s a reminder that being relational doesn’t always mean doing more, sometimes it’s about doing things differently.

Connect with Mike Lane

Website: ridgewaypsychology.co.uk
LinkedIn: Michael Lane

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