Dating is hard. But when you have your life together, somehow, it gets harder. Therapist Dani Lewin explains why, and what to actually do about it.

She gets into why dating gets more complicated the older and more established you become, what your checklist is actually telling you, and how to rethink what "settling" really means.

We also talk about non-negotiables, the ick, and what women actually find emotionally attractive in men.

If the relationship piece feels like the one thing you can't solve, we think Dani can help.

New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy.

And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it’s not. So if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help.

0:00 – Why dating feels impossible
2:13 – Love is a merger, not a startup
5:10 – How to find your real non-negotiables
9:14 – The ick is actually about you
12:03 – The operating system you should break
19:44 – You're not settling, you're choosing
25:25 – Masculinity and strength relationships
33:28 – Should relationships feel ‘good’?
37:44 – Why you're addicted to highs and lows
41:36 – What Ben & Kevin need to work on

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, we dig into family dynamics and why the people closest to us are the ones who trigger us the most. Therapist Alexa Silvaggio explains what's really going on, and how to start breaking out of those cycles.

She uses parts work, or Internal Family Systems (IFS), to help you meet the younger versions of yourself that are still quietly running your adult life. We get into people-pleasing, avoiding conflict, and why setting boundaries with the people you love is so hard.

If there are patterns you keep trying to change but can't figure out why they stick, we think Alexa can help.

New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on Instagram at @freetherapy.

And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it’s not. So if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help.

0:00 – Why family triggers us the most
6:58 – What to do when you're triggered
10:51 – Internal Family Systems explained
13:58 – Kevin's live parts work session
20:16 – Different types of parts
29:07 – Stop fighting your own mind
33:29 – Your problems are the curriculum
45:53 – Setting boundaries without walls

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Introducing Free Therapy.

We're Ben and Kevin. Best friends of 15 years.

Every week, we sit down with a different expert therapist to unpack the stuff most guys struggle with but nobody says out loud. Dating. Relationships. Modern masculinity. Career and purpose. Family. Self-worth.

We're going to uncover what it looks like to be a strong, loving, successful, empathetic, and masculine man in today's world. Because the current playbook is absolute trash (cc: manosphere).

We're not experts. We're just two very curious, slightly unhinged guys who can label our feelings (most of the time).

This show is for men trying to figure out life, women trying to figure out men, and anyone who wants more of the real stuff.

The world needs free therapy <3

New episodes every week. Follow on the iHeart app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts and on IG at @freetherapy.

And as a reminder, we are not therapists, and while this may feel like therapy, it’s not. So if you’re struggling, please reach out to a mental health professional who can help.

0:00 – Why the world needs free therapy
2:02 – Meet Ben
5:47 – Meet Kevin
11:31 – How Free Therapy was born
17:20 – Being a man today
18:39 – The biggest thing therapy taught us
23:18 – Our hope for the podcast

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.