Grief gives gifts. If that’s true, it opens up a conversation that asks what are the gifts that grief has given me.

The first gift that comes to mind is that my life is more than this body. Before Chip died, I’d lost several loved ones including my grandparents and sister.

It was different with Chip because I stayed in conversation with him.

I wrote to him at the end of each work day and after a while it was like he was writing back. I could sense his presence.

Two weeks after he passed a friend insisted I go to the doctor because she was afraid of the toll his absence was taking on my health. As I waited in the exam room, one of our songs came on and I felt his arms holding me while I rocked and cried in his embrace.

Sometimes while helping others through their grief journey, I sense the presence of their loved ones joining us and I’ve even encountered their person(s) when I’m alone.

These experiences soften my attachment to life in this body while expanding my connection to all living things. Past. Present. Future. As if the skin separating me from another dissolves.

I’m more curious. More open. More grateful.

The less attached I am to my body, the more brave I am and bravery feels important to me now.

Click here for a more intimate listen to the gifts I have received through grieving.

Last time I sought to answer the question, “How did I get here? What happened to (for) me?” to become a woman that my Bible college, homeschooling, good christian, pastor’s wife selves, would not recognize.

What came out was surprisingly emotional. At points it was hard to get my words out through the tears.

Then I was asked to do part 2 and share how those experiences brought me to where I am now and how I feel about this version of myself.

This episode is a totally different vibe – goofy, fun, and hopefully answers those questions.

Xoxo

I asked myself, “How did I get here? What happened to (for) me?” and this is what came out.

There are lots of tears as I trace my journey and think about how I became a woman that my Bible college, homeschooling, mom, christian, pastor’s wife selves, would not recognize.

I wonder what parts of your story will awaken as you hear mine.

Xoxo

Billy from episode: https://www.julylifecoach.com/about

Damien from episode: https://www.damienryanofarrell.com

Katrina Come Hell or High Water https://www.netflix.com/title/81676595