Ever wanted to make the first move and just… froze?

Initiating is one of the most vulnerable things we do, and almost nobody talks about how hard it is.

This week Jay-Jay Feeney and somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes get into how to initiate sex without the fear of rejection: why it can feel scarier than the sex itself, how to handle a "no" without spiralling, and the tiny shifts that bring desire back to life in long-term relationships.

Inside this episode:

• Why initiating feels so loaded (and why long-term love makes it harder, not easier)
• The one-word response to "no" that stops the shame spiral in its tracks
• Mismatched desire; are you and your partner even speaking the same language?
• Ovens vs gas hobs: why "preheating" outside the bedroom changes everything
• Emily Nagoski's gateways into desire: play, care and curiosity
• Real, low-stakes ways to initiate tonight: flirty texts, kissing, music, massage
• Plus your Pleasure Practice DMs, including the "I was meant to be the submissive one" plot twist
• 
  

Whether you're the one who always makes the first move, the one who's given up trying, or somewhere in between, this one's for you.

How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have.

This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.

Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…

Pleasure Delivered.

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How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz

HOSTS:

Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality

Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney

Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach

www.melissavranjes.com

Instagram: @melissavranjes

Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school

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