BDSM. Two seconds after hearing that word, most people picture whips, chains, leather, and some kind of expensive basement situation. (Just me? Okay, just me.)

This week, certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes breaks down what BDSM actually is — and spoiler: it's a much wider, far less terrifying spectrum than you think.

We cover:

• What BDSM really means (and what it definitely doesn't have to mean)
• Why so many people are secretly curious about power play, restraint, and dominance, and feel weirdly ashamed about it
• The psychology behind dominant people wanting to submit, and vice versa
• How to go from "we've vaguely thought about this" to actually trying it, without a cringe disaster
• The beginner's menu: easy, low-stakes things to explore first
• Consent conversations that don't feel like a workplace health and safety briefing
• Safewords, aftercare, and the mistakes people make, copying what they've seen online
• And this week's Pleasure Practice to try at home

Whether you're deeply curious, mildly intrigued, or just here to find out what all the fuss is about, this one's for you.

Don't start with a whip and a prayer. Start here.

How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have.

This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.

Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…

Pleasure Delivered.

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How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz

HOSTS:

Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality

Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney

Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach

www.melissavranjes.com

Instagram: @melissavranjes

Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school

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