You guys, I just realized something, and I know this might sound ridiculous, but I mean this with the utmost sincerity.

I just realized that I am a child.

I just realized that I am a baby infant child. Like, that’s truly where I’m at. It’s truly where I’m at.

I am such an infant, infant, infant... in terms of my human experience. Okay?

Like, I have just been chatting with people that are 50 years old, essentially. Like my parents, my parents’ friends, right? And they have just been through so many things, and like, I’m just so fascinated with speaking with older people in general.

I’m very drawn to the older folk, okay? And I’m talking, like, old people, right? 70, 80. You know what I’m saying?

Because they just have this wealth of... of wisdom. It’s not even wisdom. It’s just like stories. They’re just talking about their life. Like, their experiences, what they’ve been through, who they are, and where they’re going, and like all of these things are just so, so fascinating to me.

Anyways. I feel like I’m going off on sidetracks here, but... I don’t know, I guess I just, I was speaking with my parents and their friends, and it just, I don’t know, I just walked upstairs, and it just hit me like a ton of bricks where I’m like, oh my God.

I am such a beginner at life.

Like, I have so much that I’m going to get to experience, and I have so many things that I’m going to go through. And I guess sometimes I feel like everything’s happening so quick and like, we’re gonna need to figure everything out now, and like, time, ah, what do I do? Decisions. I don’t know. And...

Wow, I don’t know. It just... I don’t know.

Yeah, it’s just making me realize, like, wow. Of course I feel confused, because I’m a baby. I’m a kid.

Of course, like, these things that I thought would happen by now that are not happening right now, which I am accepting, baby. But, like, I guess, yeah, like the things that I’ve thought about, the things that I’ve wanted, the things that I’m going for or whatever, whatever, whatever, they... I guess I could just get so impatient with my life.

Because I’m thinking about this right now because I’m saying it. Oh my God, it’s so ridiculous. Like, I know that that’s ridiculous.

You know, like, I think it’s because I’m impatient. Like, I get so impatient with life because I’m like, I want to have all of these things by now, because I feel like a grandma... like, I’m not a grandma, but like, I don’t know... actually, that’s completely untrue. I do not feel like a grandma at all.

I feel this pressure to have certain things done, completed, or like, en route to. I don’t know why. I think it’s just like, conditioning, societal pressure, your upbringing, you know, the structures that are in place, mental health, you know, that’s totally a playoff player here.

But, wow.

What a great realization. A revelization, a remembrance, if you will, baby, that like, I am a kid. And I have so, so much... life is going to happen to me and like, just relax, chill out, sister Sue.

Like, life is gonna give you everything. Everything, just relax. Stop trying to rush your life so much.

Like, stop sprinting towards... like, why are you, are you running? Jenna, why are you running, girl?

Just, kid, relax. Take it easy. Take it easy.

Wow.

Anyways, um, I’m like... this is totally all I have to say right now, and I don’t even, yeah, well. Maybe... No, I’m like, I really, like, I was going to...

I was going to try and put a little spin on the end of this of like, now, if this is you, and, you know, follow your dreams or something, and I’m like, nope, don’t even... it’s not what I want to do.

I just want to say goodbye.

So? Goodbye.