Sometimes the roller coaster world hands you a story so absurd you don't even need a punchline — you just need to read the facts out loud. This week on Coaster Radio, the original theme park podcast, Mike and EB dig into the sudden, bulldozer-bound death of one of the best roller coasters in America: Fun Spot Atlanta is closing on August 2nd, taking Arie Force One — an RMC hybrid barely four years old that regularly cracks top-five lists nationwide — down with it. No, it's not relocating. No, someone can't just "cut out the footprint" and paste it into their backyard. This thing is probably headed straight for the scrapyard, and the guys break down what made this coaster great and if there's any hope at all of it being saved.

From there, it's a genuinely stacked news week (there were two episodes' worth of stories backed up, and it shows): a viral video of a kid tumbling out of Disneyland's Tiana's Bayou Adventure that had half the internet convinced it was AI-generated, Pirates of the Caribbean's brand-new projection-mapped skeleton animatronic (and a pretty compelling argument for where Imagineering should have actually put it), Holiday World's all-American 2027 addition Cannonball — a family water coaster that splashes straight into a themed community pool — and a deep dive into the very mixed reviews rolling in from Universal's newly opened Kids Resort in Texas.

After the break: Six Flags Over Texas delays Tormenta, Cedar Point is selling literal chunks of Magnum XL-200 track for $300 a slice (and they're already sold out), Halloween Horror Nights brings Hellraiser to Hollywood and Orlando, Six Flags Great Adventure unveils its boardwalk-themed Shoreline Pier, and Knott's Berry Farm's long-dead Montezuma the Forbidden Fortress is back and testing with a powerful launch. And because it's the Fourth of July, the show closes out with the 20th-ish annual Coaster Radio tradition: the Sparktacular Explosaloosa, live from EB's back deck — now with video.