Has a TV show ever completely changed how you think about relationships?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley (AKA Dr. NerdLove) are talking about Heated Rivalry, the breakout HBO series that's not only making waves with fans, but also with pro athletes who've found the courage to come out because of it. It's even encouraging men to actually talk to each other.

They break down the show from every angle: masculinity, emotional vulnerability, queer identity, and body image. And they explore how it flips the script on who gets to have feelings, and what those feelings are allowed to look like, especially in the hyper-masculine world of pro-hockey.

Highlights of the episode:

• Why we need queer stories that aren't rooted in trauma

• What the show gets right about the male gaze

• How male friendships are the key to addressing the male loneliness epidemic

• And what to watch next when you're left with a Heated Rivalry-shaped hole in your heart

So lace up your skates, this episode might just change the way you think about masculinity, emotional connection, and what it really means to be vulnerable in your romantic and platonic relationships.

Time Stamps

00:00 We're talking about Heated Rivalry

02:08 Plot breakdown and why it became a surprise hit

05:00 "It wasn't for me" vs "I'm obsessed"

07:00 Shane and Ilya vs Scott and Kip

08:00 Exploring the male gaze through emotional subtlety

16:00 Body image, diet culture, and the horror of never eating carbs

21:00 A quick overview of the Heated Rivalry book series

26:00 Pro hockey's reaction to Heated Rivalry

31:00 The beauty of a queer story not rooted in trauma

33:00 Coming out scenes and corrective emotional experiences

40:00 Queer identity and being told "it's allowed"

41:00 Emotional connection and masculinity

48:00 Push-pull relationships and fear of intimacy

58:00 Passion projects vs corporate media

01:07:00 Representation that impacts real people

01:09:00 Favorite moments and emotional highlights

01:15:00 Other media about "man feelings" and the male loneliness epidemic

01:17:00 Outro

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