Marriage can seem exhausting when there is constant tension, repeated hurt, and painful disconnection. It can leave you asking, is it time for a separation?

In this episode, we step into that space with you, without shame or pressure, and begin to unpack the deeper questions that need to be asked before making that kind of decision.

We also redefine what a healthy, purposeful separation can actually look like. It’s not punishment, or escape or a slow fade into disconnection. A separation can be healthy and helpful when it’s an intentional space for healing and deepening your relationship with God.

Here are some helpful questions to ask if you are considering a separation:

1. Am I trying to escape or am I trying to heal?
2. It may seem like “We’ve tried it all” right now, but have we done the inner work that leads to transformation?
3. Are we each willing to look at and work on ourselves individually instead of blaming the other?
4. Have we invited wise counsel in? Have we received help from several different trusted sources outside the marriage?
5. Is there emotional and physical safety in the relationship right now or not?
6. Am I expecting my spouse to heal something in me that only God can truly heal?
7. Are we making this decision out of a desire for peace or are we making it out of pain?
8. What is God trying to heal right now? What is He trying to heal inside me? What is He trying to heal inside our relationship? And are we willing to let Him do it?

Need some help? We're here for you:

$67 Initial Couple's Coaching Session for first-time clients.

Grab free marriage resources: thewayforlove.com

Join Cara's Restored membership for wives

Join Refined Adam's online men's membership or find out more about his Master This Moment private podcast. Real-time strength for men navigating hard moments in marriage.

Get the Marriage Check-in Journal: stay connected intentionally all year long and have regular, important conversations that build your relationship every week.

Interested in individual coaching? Click here.

Connect with us on Instagram:
@cara.nitz
@faith.full.masculinity

Send us Fan Mail