My Fiancé Is Secretly Paying His Ex’s Rent
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My Fiancé Is Secretly Paying His Ex’s Rent
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Rachel recently discovered that her fiancé has been secretly paying his ex-girlfriend Vanessa’s rent from their joint account for almost a year. He says Vanessa fell on hard times after losing her job and swears there’s nothing inappropriate going on between them. According to him, he only kept it from Rachel because he knew she wouldn’t understand. But for Rachel, the betrayal runs deeper than the secrecy and the shared money being spent on another woman: they’re supposed to be saving for their wedding.Her fiancé argues that Vanessa has no one else to turn to, and that helping her is a reflection of his character. But is this generosity or a major breach of trust?
How should Rachel handle what feels like extreme financial infidelity and the fact that her fiancé is framing it as moral high ground? Could this “charity” spill into other parts of their relationship? Is Rachel being too harsh, or just setting reasonable boundaries? Sarah, Ellen, and Ryan weigh in to help Rachel make sense of this complicated situation.
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