this week, stefani is putting her spirit guides and backyard birds on payroll while courtney continues on her eyelash journey.

plus: the emotional fallout of the summer house reunion, pt. 1, including a passionate case for mia and ciara as bravo’s most beautiful future power couple.

May is officially coming up BB8. Courtney is employed, 40, surprised, and driving Fiona; Stefani is married, still missing an engagement ring, and somehow already threatening divorce as a bit. This week, we recap the wedding, the birthday weekend, the new car era, and then get into Summer House, In the City, Rhode Island, Southern Hospitality, Mormon Wives, and why apparently everything is either chef’s kiss or directly in our veins.

courtney is staring down 40, launching a new substack, waiting on job news, and somehow making jesse solomon sound reasonable. meanwhile, stefani is 17 days from the wedding, surrounded by boxes, still missing a ring, and emotionally unwell after summer house.

summer should be fun. apparently, so should spiraling.

The girls are fighting and we’re struggling to hit record.

This week, we get into Coachella, Uncle Dave, and some very specific requests for daddy Andy and Jesse Solomon.

this week starts with a full women in stem setup (a suitcase, a stool, and pure determination) and quickly spirals into no sleep, one-headlight driving at 3am, and filing for unemployment against our will.

somewhere along the way: ego death, a misplaced engagement ring, wanting a refund on therapy, and realizing we are 30 days out from the wedding with absolutely no emotional regulation left.

we try to hold it together. we do not.

This week spirals from Summer House chaos into a full cultural breakdown - none of this actually matters … but also somehow does.

Can we just turn the internet off already??

This week is a series of tangents, a few aggressively confident takes, and at least one moment where we realize mid-sentence that the point isn’t coming together — but commit anyway.

This week, we mourn the loss of ever being blissfully unaware, spiral through Substack feelings, shout out friend of the pod Paige for her Vicks hack, and face the fact that the wedding is 50 days away. Then it’s straight into reality TV chaos: Southern Hospitality, Summer House, Southern Charm, and the absolute mess surrounding Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and the canceled Bachelorette.