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Memorial Day Bench Talk: Dad Jokes, Raccoons in the Attic, Fireworks, and Barter

On a Memorial Day in Minnesota, Carlos and Mike Hammer record “Park Bench Perspectives,” starting with a dad joke from Brady about “paranormal jeans.” They trade stories about critters in attics, including Mike’s suspected squirrels that turn out to be raccoons, a late-night raccoon at his daughter’s window, and using lights and loud music (AC/DC) to drive them out, plus a teen memory of using pellet guns on squirrels. Carlos shares a childhood incident where a squirrel fell into the shower. They reminisce about changing local wildlife, Westwood Nature Center, Dayton’s Memorial Day/Jubilee Sale ads, and Fourth of July fireworks, including large personal displays in Wisconsin. The conversation shifts to barter economics, estimates vs. bids in handyman work, coincidences in repairs and health, and frustration with vaccine misinformation.

They close by promoting footpainauthority.com and announcing a growing podcast network, including “Forgotten Television” and a new show, “Role Reversal,” about caring for aging parents.

00:00 Park Bench Intro

00:39 Memorial Day Banter

00:43 Dad Joke Detour

01:30 Critters in the Attic

03:51 Wizard of Oz Surprise

04:42 Raccoon at the Window

06:21 Blasting Music to Evict

07:08 Pellet Gun Flashback

07:27 Shower Squirrel Chaos

08:35 Wildlife Then and Now

08:55 Westwood Nature Center

09:23 What Memorial Day Meant

10:16 Dayton’s Sale Nostalgia

11:10 Fourth of July Memories

11:42 Fireworks Then vs Now

12:37 Backyard Fireworks Tales

13:52 Cleanup and Getting Older

14:25 Barter Economy Dreams

16:52 Handyman Deals and Estimates

19:10 Coincidence and Vaccine Rants

21:24 Workplace Shots and Meeting Culture

22:39 Plugging Businesses and Podcasts

23:45 New Show Role Reversal

24:35 Next Episodes and Sign Off

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From their “Park Bench Perspective,” Carlos and Mike Hammer reminisce about growing up in St. Louis Park and early work experiences, starting with a childhood paper route and frustrations with school fundraisers, including a story about Melissa McCarthy opting to write a check rather than sell magazines. They compare fundraisers like paper drives and Girl Scout cookies and joke about shrinkflation. The conversation shifts to first jobs: Hammer dishwashing at the Ambassador Motor Hotel (union breaks, heavy pots and pans) and briefly working at Jolly Troll before quitting due to a creepy manager; Carlos describes working at TGI Fridays as a teen, cutting his thumb and receiving a disability payout, then being fired over an earring, and quitting Plums after 17 straight days. They mention other jobs (Shakey’s, Snyder Drug, Tom Thumb, Domino’s) and discuss restaurant theft, service, and management lessons. Carlos announces a new podcast with Joe Reilly, “Forgotten Television,” debuting with The White Shadow, teases another podcast with Hammer, and they plan “Jobs Part Two,” while plugging Hammer’s handyman/construction work and Carlos’s writing project “The Ghost of Lake Osseo.”

00:00 Park Bench Intro
00:31 First Money Jobs
01:03 Fundraiser Rants
04:03 Girl Scout Shrinkflation
05:24 First Real Restaurant Jobs
09:04 TGI Fridays Thumb Story
11:55 More Teen Jobs List
13:12 Dominos Before GPS
15:26 Restaurant Theft Wisdom
20:26 New Podcasts Announcement
21:29 Jobs Part Two Tease
24:11 Wrap Up and Contact

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St. Louis Park Summertime Perspectives (and the “Bare Ass Pool” Story)

Carlos Figueroa and Mike Hammer talk on Park Bench Perspectives about May leading into summer in St. Louis Park, recalling elementary track meets (relays, sack races), a tougher era of safety (asphalt playgrounds, no bike helmets, lawn jarts), and the start of summer baseball with Little League drafts, uniforms, opening day, and a memorable visit from a Japanese Little League team whose disciplined play and submarine pitching were intimidating. They reminisce about the last day of school paper-throwing chaos, summer park programs with the “green box” of games (four square, capture the flag, Knox hockey), neighborhood mischief, Cub Scout paper drives and liability fears, exploring marshland, and local traffic changes advocated by “Disco Dave Hammer.” They also cover the rec center pool, beaches and cabins, teen driving and partying stories, and invite listeners to share St. Louis Park trivia—jokingly titling the episode “Bare Ass Pool” after discussion of nude swim classes in earlier decades.

00:00 May Bench Banter
01:07 School Track Meet Memories
02:13 Dangerous Games and No Helmets
04:13 Little League Draft Days
05:32 Japanese Team Showdown
08:05 Last Day School Chaos
10:53 Summer Parks and Green Box
12:01 First Kisses and Window Breaking
14:44 Neighborhood Games and Lawsuits
16:49 Cub Scouts Paper Drive Hustle
19:16 Cub Scouts and Summers
19:28 Neighborhood Exploring Tales
20:19 Phone Book Anderson Joke
20:37 Hampshire Road Changes
22:02 Snowballs and Speeders
22:53 Highway Frogger Food Runs
23:43 Mark Globus Memories
25:09 Rec Center Pool Days
28:50 Beaches Falls and Cabins
30:01 Boy Scout Camp Mischief
31:06 Road Trips and Teen Years
33:24 Driving Drinking Concert Chaos
35:58 Podcast Wrap and Call In
37:44 Bare Ass Pool Trivia
39:10 Bench Season Goodbye

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