“I didn't get a handbook when I transitioned like in the film Beetlejuice when they got ‘The Handbook for the Recently Deceased’. I didn't get ‘The Handbook for the Recently Transitioned’. I haven't got an instruction manual on how to be trans. I make mistakes but I'm allowed to do that because I'm learning.”

It's Trans Day of Visibility and I have the perfect guest to mark it.

She’s known for keeping it real, winged eye-liner look & cracking humour… and so much more! Adelle Barker (she/her) is an award-winning inspirational role model and nominated change maker. In her day-to-day professional role, Adele is a Team Leader at Sky and part of the LGBTQ+ Network. But her real CV lives in the messy, human spaces.

Growing up in Essex, Little Adelle was confused and dreamt of a world away from the one she lived in which she describes as a ‘boring, normal upbringing’. She was creative and studied film & media - and her creativity shines through today through her #IDontKnowHowToBeTrans series is ‘equal parts humour, heartbreak and humility. It tackles voice worries, dysphoria, over thinking, parenting, fear, joy and everything in between. It’s chaotic. It’s honest. It’s the stuff people whisper about but she says out loud.’ If you don’t already subscribe, you should do so via Substack.

Like many trans+ & queer folk who lacked representation, Adelle found herself in chat rooms with alter-ego accounts. As a teen, she started to grasp her feminine energy but coming out happened a lot later - as a whirlwind experience which we reflect on.

We talk about Adelle’s career from working on a meat counter & in retail through to her experiences as a Sky engineer & team leader having embraced her skills in management.

Parenting is a big topic too - we hear about Adelle’s big queer family setup, navigating raising kids as a trans parent and them being completely unbothered about her accolades! We also tackle the backwards notion of ‘protect the kids’ when it comes to trans identities.

Adelle gets serious when it comes to urging people to allow others to make mistakes, vulnerability & the importance of storytelling but there’s so many laughs in this episode too. We diss ‘live, laugh, love’, joke about Adelle’s love of nachos with chicken tikka on and there’s also a fair bit of chat about growing books.

As Adelle states, authenticity really is her superpower. Have a listen, it’s a goodun!

PLEASE NOTE | This conversation covers sensitive topics including mental health, coming out, the current landscape for Trans+ folk & more. Take care of yourself whilst listening