Success doesn't always feel like success.

In this Quick Spoon, Ross reflects on a coaching conversation with someone who appeared to have everything going for them: successful, respected and on track for a remarkable career.

Yet something wasn't right.

As they explored what mattered most, a powerful pattern emerged. Many of their decisions weren't moving them towards what they valued. Instead, they were helping them avoid disappointing other people.

It's a trap that many of us fall into, especially when we're caring, conscientious and ambitious.

Reflection Question

Think about a decision you're currently wrestling with.

Are you moving towards something important, or away from someone else's disappointment?

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If you’re enjoying People Soup, hit follow so you don’t miss future episodes.

• Why good leaders go off track - A People Soup special #1 - People Soup
• Leadership beyond autopilot - The McIntosh ACT Leadership Framework

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life

He's now also on Bluesky

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You can't lead beyond what you notice and awareness often begins with a metaphorical itch.

A feeling that something isn't quite right. Something isn't fitting. Something needs attention.

In this Quick Spoon, Ross reflects on a question that changed what he started paying attention to and explores why awareness can be uncomfortable, but essential for growth and leadership.

Reflection Question - What have you been noticing recently that you've been tempted to brush aside?

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If you’re enjoying People Soup, hit follow so you don’t miss future episodes.

• Leadership beyond autopilot - The McIntosh ACT Leadership Framework

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life

He's now also on Bluesky

The People Soup Website on CAPTIVATE

We're encouraged to be quick, responsive and always on.

But what happens when urgency becomes identity, reaction becomes leadership and speed becomes a virtue?

In this Quick Spoon, Ross reflects on why he believes the pause is becoming an unfashionable leadership skill—and why that might be a problem.

Discover why the pause sits at the heart of Ross's leadership framework and a simple practice to help create more choice in moments that matter.

Reflection Question

Pause for 5 seconds and as yourself - what's needed here?

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If you’re enjoying People Soup, hit follow so you don’t miss future episodes.

• Leadership beyond autopilot - The McIntosh ACT Leadership Framework

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life

He's now also on Bluesky

The People Soup Website on CAPTIVATE

Why do good people do things they later regret?

It's a question that's fascinated me for years.

Before I became a coach, studied organisational psychology, or discovered Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), I spent years in HR leadership. One of my roles was leading the Conduct and Discipline Team in a large government department in the UK Civil Service. In that job I became increasingly curious about what really drives human behaviour.

In this special solo episode, I share my working hypothesis about leadership:

Under pressure, leaders often default to behaviours designed to reduce discomfort rather than create impact.

I explore six common patterns of psychologically inflexible leadership and introduce my leadership framework, built around three core skills topped and tailed by the Pause and the Review Loop:

• Pause
• Awareness
• Authentic Action
• Adaptability
• and the Review Loop.

Along the way, I share stories from my own leadership journey, including:

• What I learned from conduct and discipline cases
• A memorable disagreement with a tech startup founder about the value of pausing
• The conversation with my husband that changed what I paid attention to
• Lessons from coaching senior leaders through moments of challenge and transition
• Why authenticity became such an important part of my leadership philosophy

This episode is both a reflection on leadership and an invitation to consider what might be running you when pressure shows up.

• Why leaders are not exempt from being human
• Six common ways leaders can drift off course
• Why the pause is a leadership superpower
• The importance of awareness and noticing what matters
• Values, authenticity and courageous action
• Adapting without abandoning yourself
• Why reflection turns experience into wisdom
• What ACT has taught me about leadership and human behaviour

"Pressure doesn't reveal who we are. Pressure reveals what's running us."

When pressure rises, what patterns show up most often for you?

You can find an illustration of my ACT-based Leadership Framework in the show notes.

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If you’re enjoying People Soup, hit follow so you don’t miss future episodes.

• Leadership beyond autopilot - The McIntosh ACT Leadership Framework

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life

He's now also on Bluesky

The People Soup Website on CAPTIVATE

In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores the fourth skill in the McIntosh Leadership Framework: Adaptability.

Inspired by a candid reflection from Gabriella Braun, this episode explores what happens when leadership becomes uncertain, messy, political, and deeply human.

So many leadership books promise certainty, control, and easy answers.

But real leadership often starts feeling difficult at exactly the moment complexity arrives.

Ross reflects on what leaders can do when pressure rises, certainty disappears, and their usual ways of coping stop working.

And he shares one practical question that can help turn pressure into purposeful action.

In this Quick Spoon

🥄 Why leadership becomes harder under uncertainty

🥄 What happens when leaders grip tighter under pressure

🥄 The hidden link between rigidity and reduced impact

🥄 A practical reflection question to try this week

Key reflection

“Who do I want to be in this moment?”

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If you’re enjoying People Soup, hit follow so you don’t miss future episodes.

• Leadership beyond autopilot - The McIntosh ACT Leadership Framework

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life

He's now also on Bluesky

The People Soup Website on CAPTIVATE

In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores the third skill in the McIntosh Leadership Framework: Authentic Action.

Inspired by a powerful insight from Gabriella Braun, this episode looks at the tension leaders face between acting from fear… or acting from what matters most.

Gabriella describes how every workplace contains both constructive and destructive forces — and how leadership often involves helping people move towards the constructive side.

Ross reflects on what this can mean in practice during difficult conversations, moments of tension, and everyday leadership decisions.

Because authentic leadership isn’t about avoiding discomfort.

It’s about acting with clarity, courage, and humanity.

In this Quick Spoon

🥄 Why leadership is more than decision-making

🥄 The difference between acting from fear and acting from values

🥄 Why love and courage belong in leadership conversations

🥄 A practical reflection to try before your next difficult conversation

Key reflection

“What would love and courage look like here?”

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If you’re enjoying People Soup, hit follow so you don’t miss future episodes.

• Leadership beyond autopilot - The McIntosh ACT Leadership Framework

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life

He's now also on Bluesky

The People Soup Website on CAPTIVATE

In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores the second skill in the McIntosh Leadership Framework: Awareness.

Inspired by a reflection from Gabriella Braun, this episode looks at the leadership power of noticing what’s happening beneath the surface — in ourselves, in teams, and in the wider system around us.

So often, leaders feel pressure to speak quickly, solve problems, and drive action.

But what if better leadership sometimes starts with noticing more… and saying less?

Ross shares a practical experiment to help leaders develop awareness in meetings, conversations, and everyday workplace dynamics.

In this Quick Spoon

🥄 Why awareness is a core leadership skill

🥄 The hidden dynamics we often miss in meetings

🥄 How curiosity can change a room

🥄 A practical experiment to try this week

Key reflection

“You can’t lead beyond what you notice.”

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If you’re enjoying People Soup, hit follow so you don’t miss future episodes.

• Leadership beyond autopilot - The McIntosh ACT Leadership Framework

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life

He's now also on Bluesky

The People Soup Website on CAPTIVATE

In this Quick Spoon, Ross explores the first skill in the McIntosh Leadership Framework: Pause.

Inspired by a powerful reflection from Gabriella Braun, this episode looks at those moments when our reactions feel immediate, emotional, and difficult to control.

Why does one comment roll off our backs… while another lingers all day?

And what might change if, instead of reacting automatically, we paused long enough to notice what’s happening inside us?

Ross shares a simple practical experiment to help leaders interrupt autopilot, create choice, and respond with greater awareness and intention.

In this Quick Spoon

🥄 Why our reactions at work can feel instant

🥄 The leadership power of pausing before reacting

🥄 How to interrupt autopilot and habitual responses

🥄 A simple reflection question to try this week

Key reflection

“Between stimulus and response… that’s where your leadership lives.”

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If you’re enjoying People Soup, hit follow so you don’t miss future episodes.

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life

He's now also on Bluesky

The People Soup Website on CAPTIVATE