This week, Cap’n Davo heads for Pulau Tioman in search of a mysterious jade lion, armed with nothing more than second-hand intelligence from Captain Sinbad’s secret Facebook group and an optimistic belief that things probably won’t get weird.

They get weird immediately.

First, a highly organised amphibious assault by a gang of beer-stealing pirate monkeys. Then a derelict yacht sitting suspiciously low in the water. Then a missing crew. Then a centuries-old jade lion. Then a mysterious bearded sailor known only as Captain C, who appears out of nowhere aboard the ketch Mintaka and delivers exactly the kind of advice that makes sensible people leave immediately.

Naturally, Davo ignores several warning signs before eventually deciding that perhaps the flooding ghost yacht full of unanswered questions is somebody else’s problem.

Featuring:

• Tactical macaque piracy
• The theft of a perfectly good Steinlager Pure
• Questionable decision making under humanitarian grounds
• A boat that should not be there
• A jade lion that definitely belongs in a future disaster
• The most suspiciously helpful Englishman in the South China Sea

By sunrise, the crew of the Bald Eagle are still missing.

By nightfall, the Bald Eagle is gone.

And somehow, that’s only the beginning.

Put the beers on ice, keep an eye on your charts, and whatever you do… watch out for the monkeys.