There's a version of running your own business that looks great from the outside. Freedom, flexibility, being your own boss. And then there's what it actually feels like at 2am when you can't switch your brain off, surrounded by people you can't be honest with because they're either competition or clients or colleagues you need to look capable in front of.

Reflective Rebels community member Abigail asked the question 'why the f*ck is running a business so lonely?'. In this experimental solo episode, Ben weaves in Abigail's raw voice notes (recorded on a dog walk!) and reflects on what she's bravely sharing.

Listen if you...

• Feel like you're performing a version of yourself every time you show up to a networking event
• Have had a nightmare client and had absolutely nobody to vent to about it
• Know you're winging it as a leader but can't admit that to anyone
• Feel lonelier running your own business than you ever did working for someone else
• Are exhausted by maintaining the "it's going really well" version of yourself
• Wonder if everyone else has got it more together than you do

Keywords

business owner loneliness, entrepreneur isolation, imposter syndrome, leadership loneliness, self-employed mental health, business owner burnout, vulnerable leadership, belonging vs fitting in, small business owner struggles, people pleasing business owner, self-employed overwhelm, authentic leadership

About Ben

Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified executive coach based in Carlisle, Cumbria. reflectiverebels.co.uk

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The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.

Get in Touch

reflectiverebels.co.uk

Emma Sherlock had her own show on BBC Radio Cumbria. She'd been a journalist for the best part of two decades. She knew exactly who she was and what she was doing and she was very good at it.

And then she walked into the family business and none of it counted.

She went in as a very experienced journalist and a very green businesswoman. Made mistakes with people. Was quite strongly disliked. Felt physically sick going into work some days. And all of that was happening during COVID, living in a caravan whilst building a house, and trying to keep other people's salaries alive when the whole sector had crashed.

It was, in her words, horrendously awful. It's taken her till now to talk about it without crying.

But she kept going. Made the calls she had to make. Lived with the fallout. And learned, as she puts it, hard, sharp, steep lessons. Now the business is in its best years. The team is twelve people she genuinely loves. And she's chartered a yacht for the summer!

This one's for anyone who's brilliant at what they do and terrified they might be getting the other stuff completely wrong.

Listen if you...

• Feel like a fraud in a role you chose but didn't feel ready for
• Are making bold decisions and losing sleep wondering if you got them right
• Have ever been disliked for doing the right thing and found it harder than you expected
• Know you need to make a change in your team but can't face the fallout
• Are in the middle of something horrendously awful and need to know there's an other side
• Can't motivate the people around you the way you'd motivate yourself and don't know why

About Emma

Emma Sherlock is co-director of Stan Sherlock Associates, a financial services firm based in Carlisle.

Keywords

career change, joining the family business, imposter syndrome, business owner, people management, redundancy, leadership, self-doubt, reinvention, starting over, vulnerable leadership, entrepreneur overwhelm

About Ben

Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified executive coach based in Carlisle, Cumbria. reflectiverebels.co.uk

Support the Podcast

The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.

Get in Touch

reflectiverebels.co.uk or find Ben on Instagram and LinkedIn.

There's a kind of exhaustion that a good night's sleep doesn't touch. You know the one. Everything looks fine from the outside, but on the inside you're one smashed glass at half ten at night away from losing it completely.

Listen if...

• You're holding it together on the outside but running on empty on the inside
• You've turned self-care into another standard you're failing to meet
• You track your sleep and still wake up tired
• You feel guilty for resting when there's still stuff to do You know all the things you're supposed to do — and somehow that's making it worse
• You're one small thing away from the tears coming out
  

This solo episode is Ben sitting on a log in Geltwood... literally, in the woods, on a wet log ...thinking out loud about the exhaustion that comes from applying your high-achieving, run-faster brain to absolutely everything, including rest. The magnesium supplements. The sleep tracking app. The morning routine you set your alarm earlier for and then felt bad about when you didn't get up.

The self-care industry has quietly turned recovery into another performance standard, and if that's landing for you right now, this one's for you.

Ben also brings in some genuinely fascinating neuroscience about what the brain actually does when you stop, and why doing nothing is not laziness, it's necessary.

A short episode that might change how you think about rest.

About Ben Ben Hickman is an ILM Level 7 qualified business coach based in Carlisle. He helps people build businesses and lives that actually feel good. reflectiverebels.co.uk

Support the Podcast The best thing you can do is share this episode with one person you think needs to hear it.

Get in Touch Find out about coaching and the Badass Business Lab at reflectiverebels.co.uk