If there is no self, then where does the wanting come from,

the motivation for anything, the prayer for more life?

There may be no self on the level of the Absolute, but way in deep,

so close to the no thing of God, there is an oversoul,

the fractal which manifests down along the chain of density from

the very subtle finally into the human self, which must be considered

and navigated through, it’s profound captaincy on the relative level.

Dried brown pointed leaf, poked me through an opening

in the sandal of my left foot, as I danced upon the body of the Mother in the fading evening light, stay awake! Eight offering goddesses,

all dancing beautifully, we offer to the protectors

to send back the negative energies, to keep the way open

for sustenance and wisdom and fruition of deepest desires.

Matcha latte, it is so emerald green, like the swift savioress,

like the tablets of Thoth the Atlantean, like drinking fresh spring grasses foamy with your milk,

like the foam on the sand as the waves reach up, shake vigorously and then let go,

leaving their ghosts behind

Things are only forbidden when we try to take without asking,

so we humbly bow and request to turn the wheel,

we travel into the heart and make offerings, freely and generously

There is the experience of fever, terrible pain in the face,

teeth and eyes, the crucifixion, and then there is the terrible fear

of being incapacitated, no ability in this moment to engage

with the outside world, people, places or things.

Angels of Mercy.

everything is either a preparation for the union or the union itself.

now just walking. Every moment is an initiatory portal

I shake when I pick up the texts, I shake with my love, my devotion.

I can’t believe that I have the text right here. I received it

in the proper way. I can see how the teachings were stolen in the past, taken without being given. there is fear, guilt and shame, Some misuse. Somehow he and I participated together. Secret teachings gone awry. confessing and atoning, that is complete. now I walk in the light of day with my love of the teachings and my love of him.

I request the blessing to turn the wheel of dharma

my pure intention for this, for the union with him

the fire of the dakini in the belly melts the concrete view of reality

in the head, and the lotus of compassion grows

in the lake of emptiness that results