The Morning after - Why Arguments Don't End When They End
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The Morning after - Why Arguments Don't End When They End
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概要
The argument has stopped. But something is still sitting in the room. You're moving around each other carefully, replaying what was said, wondering how to find your way back. This is the morning after — and what happens here matters more than most people realise.
In this second episode of Hijacked, Barry White explores the biology of what comes after conflict — and why two people who love each other can find themselves so completely out of reach of one another in the hours that follow an argument.
We cover rupture and repair, the science of different recovery timescales, the pursuer and withdrawer dynamic, the rarely-named role of shame in the aftermath of conflict, and the concept of emotional debt — the accumulated weight of what doesn't get repaired.
In this episode:
- Why the hijack doesn't end when the argument stops
- Gottman's research on repair attempts — and why timing matters as much as intention
- The pursuer and the withdrawer — and why they're trying to reach the same place
- Shame after conflict — what it is, why it makes repair harder, and what actually helps
- Emotional debt — what accumulates when ruptures go unresolved, in relationships and at work
Part two of a three-episode series on conflict, rupture, and recovery.