Episode Companion Guide

In this episode of the New Ashla Podcast, Michael Perry and Justin Gates begin the attachment series with anxious attachment — where it comes from, how it shows up in relationships, and how to start building safety inside yourself instead of constantly needing proof that you are loved.

Anxious attachment is often misunderstood as being clingy, needy, dramatic, or “too much.” But underneath the behavior is usually a nervous system trying to feel safe in connection.

Michael and Justin explore how anxious attachment forms when love feels inconsistent, unpredictable, or conditional. They discuss how it can show up through reassurance-seeking, overthinking, people-pleasing, conflict creation, fear of silence, and mistaking chaos for chemistry.

They also talk about the path back to security: learning to pause before reacting, building self-trust, creating autonomy outside the relationship, and recognizing the difference between real intuition and nervous system activation.

Key Takeaways:

• Anxious attachment is not a character flaw — it is a learned survival strategy.
• Reassurance can help temporarily, but healing requires building internal safety.
• Fear can feel like chemistry when your nervous system is used to chaos.
• Slow replies, silence, or tired tones are not always signs of rejection.
• Secure attachment does not mean you stop needing love. It means you stop losing yourself in the fear of losing love.

Exercise: The Pause Window

The next time you feel the urge to send a message, make a call, check your phone, or seek reassurance, pause before acting.

Take a few breaths. Let your nervous system settle. Ask yourself:

Am I reaching out because there is a real concern, or because I need reassurance right now?

You do not have to shame the urge. You are simply creating space between activation and action. That space is where healing begins.

Affirmations:

• I am allowed to need connection and still trust that I am enough.
• My worth doesn’t depend on someone else’s response.
• I can tolerate uncertainty without it meaning something has gone wrong.
• I am becoming someone who trusts love, including the love I give myself.
• My nervous system is learning. I don’t have to be healed to be okay right now.

Journaling Prompts:

• Think about a recent moment where you sought reassurance. What were you actually afraid of underneath the surface, and where have you felt that before?
• What would it look like to act from security instead of fear in one relationship in your life right now?
• What is one story you tell yourself when someone goes quiet or pulls back? Where did you first learn to tell that story?

Keywords: anxious attachment, attachment styles, secure attachment, relationship anxiety, nervous system regulation, reassurance seeking, emotional healing, self-trust, relationship patterns, people pleasing, fear of abandonment, inner safety, New Ashla Podcast, Path of Ashla

Connect: Michael Perry | Justin Gates

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In this episode of The New Ashla Podcast, Justin V. Gates and Michael Perry explore why so many people spend their lives searching outside themselves for peace, power, healing, validation, guidance, and identity, only to find that the emptiness eventually returns.

Drawing from the idea of the “treasure house within”, this conversation examines how the deeper mind can become a bridge to wisdom, healing, creativity, intuition, and transformation. Through the teachings of Ashla, Justin frames this inner treasure as the Light within, the sacred current already present beneath fear, noise, old programming, and false identity.

The episode explores why people look outward for what must first be awakened inwardly, how old impressions and limiting beliefs can make us feel powerless, and how spiritual practice, awareness, contemplation, affirmation, and right action help us cultivate the deeper self.

At its heart, this episode is a reminder that you are not empty, broken, or powerless. The Light has not abandoned you. The treasure is not missing. You may simply have been searching in the wrong direction.

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Keywords

the treasure house within you, treasure house within, light within, inner wisdom, subconscious mind, Joseph Murphy, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, Ashla, New Ashla Podcast, Justin V Gates, Michael Perry, spiritual growth, self mastery, inner work, subconscious programming, inner healing, spiritual awakening, inner power, divine guidance, higher self, greater self, lesser self, spiritual practice, meditation, prayer, affirmations, contemplation, inner sanctuary, intuition, personal transformation, healing old programming, spiritual alignment, the Force, the Light, Luminari

Episode Guide

Description

In this episode of the New Ashla Podcast, Michael Perry and Justin Gates explore somatic healing, nervous system release, and why understanding your pain intellectually does not always mean your body has fully let it go.

You can read the books, go to therapy, name the wound, and understand exactly where your patterns came from, and still feel stuck in the same reactions.

That does not mean you failed at healing.

It may mean your body is still holding what your mind has already processed.

In this episode, Michael and Justin dive into somatic healing and the role the body plays in trauma, chronic stress, emotional suppression, and nervous system regulation. They explore why unresolved experiences can live as tension, hypervigilance, numbness, emotional volatility, exhaustion, and automatic reactions long after the original event is over.

This conversation is not about forcing an extreme emotional release. It is about learning how to come back into relationship with the body through breath, awareness, movement, honesty, and compassionate presence.

Because healing is not only something we understand.

It is something we integrate.

• Somatic healing is about working with the body, not bypassing it.
• Insight is important, but insight alone does not always create release.
• The nervous system can hold unresolved stress as tension, posture, hypervigilance, numbness, or automatic reactions.
• Your body is not resisting healing. It may be waiting to feel safe enough to complete what was never completed.
• Emotional suppression can disconnect us from what the body is trying to reveal.
• Movement, breath, sound, exercise, and mindful awareness can become healthy outlets for stored energy.
• Somatic work does not have to be extreme to be powerful.
• The body is not separate from the spiritual path. It is part of the whole being.
• Healing asks us to bring compassion, patience, and awareness to the places we have neglected.
• The goal is not to shame the body, fix the body, or overpower the body. The goal is to come home to it.

1. My body is not my enemy. It is trying to communicate with me.
2. I can listen to my body with patience instead of shame.
3. I do not have to force healing. I can create safety for it.
4. What I feel in my body deserves compassion and attention.
5. I am learning to release what I no longer need to carry.

1. Where does stress, fear, grief, or anger tend to show up in my body?
2. What emotions have I learned to minimize, suppress, or explain away instead of fully feeling?
3. What would it look like to treat my body as a partner in healing instead of something I need to overcome?

• Gabor Maté and his work on emotional suppression, chronic stress, and the body-mind connection.
• The broader idea behind The Body Keeps the Score, especially the way trauma and stress can live in the nervous system and body.

somatic healing, nervous system regulation, trauma healing, body keeps the score, emotional release, stored trauma, chronic stress, embodiment, breathwork, body awareness, hypervigilance, emotional suppression, healing journey, New Ashla Podcast, Michael Perry, Justin Gates

New Ashla Website:
https://www.newashla.com