In this episode of The Positively Healthy Mom, host Laura Olinger is joined by TEDx speaker and Cloud9 founder Sonia Suthar to discuss the art of improving teen communication.
Sonia shares her unique "bridge" perspective as a young adult working directly with teens, explaining why holding space is more effective than offering immediate solutions. You will walk away with a practical toolkit for navigating social pressure and emotional outbursts, ensuring your teen feels respected, heard, and supported.
Does it feel like your well-intended advice is being met with resistance or even resentment from your teen? Many parents jump into "fix-it" mode the moment their teen shares a struggle, but this often leads to the teen pulling away to protect their autonomy.
What You’ll Learn:- The "Three H’s" Framework: A simple communication tool to use whenever your teen comes to you with a problem.
- The 60/30/10 Rule: How to help your teen navigate social circles and find the confidence to be their authentic self.
- Identity vs. Influence: Why teens view "solutions" as a threat to their developing independence.
- The Role of Emotional Intelligence: How to move from a parent-child hierarchy to a partnership of mutual growth.
Common Questions About Teen CommunicationHow can I stop my teenager from pulling away when I try to help? To stop a teenager from pulling away, parents should pivot from "fixing" to "holding space." When a parent immediately offers a solution, it can unintentionally signal that they don't trust the teen's competence. By simply listening without judgment, you validate their experience and protect their need for autonomy, which keeps the lines of communication open.
What is the "Three H’s" framework for parenting teenagers? The "Three H’s" is a communication tool where a parent asks their teen: "Do you want to be Heard, Helped, or Held?" This gives the teenager the power to define the support they need in the moment. If they want to be Heard, they just need to vent. If they want to be Helped, they are open to solutions. If they want to be Held, they simply need physical or emotional comfort.
How does the 60/30/10 rule help teenagers with social anxiety? The 60/30/10 rule is a mindset shift for social confidence. It suggests that 60% of people will like you if you put in the effort, 30% will like you no matter what, and 10% will likely not like you regardless of your actions. Understanding this helps teens stop "performing" for everyone and instead focus on the 90% who value their presence, reducing the pressure of social perfectionism.
- Learn more about Sonia Suthar and Cloud 9: https://cloud9go.com/
- Connect with Cloud 9 on Instagram: @cloud9go
- Learn about Laura’s Get Through May Webinar: Let’s Do It With Joy
- Connect with Laura on Instagram: @positivelyhealthycoaching
- Rate this podcast: https://ratethispodcast.com/tphmom