Hello and welcome to a very special edition of the Say What! Podcast, featuring the prestigious 2026 Cock Pageant Awards — joined by returning guest and man of the moment, Big Nose Neil.

As always, we dive straight into Thoughts of the Week, tackling the real issues — like the best foods for warming your hands and just how long the human body can survive on urine alone. Educational… in our own way.

Big Nose Neil then takes centre stage as he constructs his ultimate woman using nothing but everyday shopping items, while also revealing a slightly concerning passion for lamb breasts. Make of that what you will.

Things take a turn during the Cock Pageant itself, when Big Pappa J and The Notorious FA-TT lock eyes and share what can only be described as one of the most unexpectedly beautiful moments ever captured on the airwaves ❤️❤️❤️

We wrap things up in style with a Star Wars–themed nightclub, somehow rope Henry Cavill into the mix, and uncover exactly what Big Pappa J would do if he had a fifth hand. (Spoiler: nothing sensible.)

So sit back, lower your expectations, and enjoy the chaos....

Hello and welcome to a very special edition of the Say What! Podcast, featuring the prestigious 2026 Cock Pageant Awards — joined by returning guest and man of the moment, Big Nose Neil.

As always, we dive straight into Thoughts of the Week, tackling the real issues — like the best foods for warming your hands and just how long the human body can survive on urine alone. Educational… in our own way.

Big Nose Neil then takes centre stage as he constructs his ultimate woman using nothing but everyday shopping items, while also revealing a slightly concerning passion for lamb breasts. Make of that what you will.

Things take a turn during the Cock Pageant itself, when Big Pappa J and The Notorious FA-TT lock eyes and share what can only be described as one of the most unexpectedly beautiful moments ever captured on the airwaves ❤️❤️❤️

We wrap things up in style with a Star Wars–themed nightclub, somehow rope Henry Cavill into the mix, and uncover exactly what Big Pappa J would do if he had a fifth hand. (Spoiler: nothing sensible.)

So sit back, lower your expectations, and enjoy the chaos.

Hello and welcome to the Say What! Podcast — where, let’s be honest, nobody actually reads these intros anyway.

This episode kicks off with a Mystery Pipe review from a sassy Geordie lady, who may or may not currently have a restraining order involving one very enthusiastic “hole user” — none other than Peter Beardsley. Make of that what you will.

On Thoughts of the Week, we take an intimate look at Big Pappa J’s sausage & beans, alongside yet another baffling tale from the locker room — this time involving the mysterious Doppelgänger cock. Science still can’t explain it.

We introduce a brand-new segment — “What’s in the Shed?” — where The Notorious FA-TT shares a genuinely traumatic allotment bullying story and reveals once and for all why growing sweetcorn is a dangerous game.

Finally, we round things off with Alternative TV Shows, where a group of gold-toothed warriors battle it out with pliers in a brutal reimagining of “Going for Gold.” It’s as classy as it sounds.

We hope you make it past the first four minutes… but if not, we completely understand. Crime Stoppers probably does too.

Love as always,
Big Pappa J & The Notorious FA-TT ❤️