This week it’s Taurus Season! Amy and Maya recap their birthdays. They are twin brothers, of course! Amy sold a house, and it was a whole hell of a thing. Maya & Producer Tyler try a new deli with sandwiches named after local celebrities. Maya has a drink she dubs the best version of Bartles & Jaymes. Next up, she has a bevy on the deck of The Gasthaus Bavarian Hunter. Then it’s on to a new pasta place in Robbinsdale. Amy recounts a run-in at her new nail place, Vertex Nails. She runs into a situation where a nail tech demanded to know who did such a bad job on her nails, and it was that nail tech. Then she shamed Amy for not identifying her as the offender. What a weird flex. Amy took a week off for her birthday and shopped all over town. She did Facebook Marketplace and wowed this woman by loading a whole yard swing into her car. She showed this woman what was possible with some tools and a dream. Maya recounts giving away a bed in her Buy Nothing group. The ladies reminisce about paper map books for the car. Animal Report: Chonkers the sea lion. Stop body shaming this big buddy! Approved/Denied: RIP Spirit Airlines.

This week on the pod, the Pay-TREE-archy gives us allergies, and we get a “Baby Jessica” update. If you’re Gen X, you know. Maya goes to a Tom Petty cover band. Amy and Maya have different experiences ordering things from China. Someone brought a gun to the White House Correspondence Dinner, and Maya ponders if we’ve become desensitized to the world completely unraveling. Maya wonders how historians will feel about our laissez-faire attitude while the world was completely falling apart. Amy’s work allows them to award points to coworkers. For some reason, there’s a whole page of rewards items devoted to your crotch and butt. Apparently, the rewards selection is very, very random. Amy reviews Lena Dunham’s new book. Amy hates all the peeing on the show Girls. Spoiler Alert: Amy loves this book. Which leads us to Sex in the City. Also, Amy has an amazing Steve impersonation. They did Aiden dirty on SITC. The gals review the movie Project Hail Mary. Five out of five popcorn buckets…go see it! Amy watches Coachella at home. The Michael Jackson movie comes out. Maya loves the name Jermajesty. The ladies speculate about the new He-Man movie. Animal Report: Sharks test positive for Tylenol. Ummm…big whoop.

Maya and Amy open the show asking: Tiger Woods, why don’t you get a driver?!?!? On to the Miami Open. The ladies stay in a new place. Maya is naive about hotel stairwell treasures. Walking down a Florida street is always an adventure. The ladies buy the perfect amount of vacation groceries, and if you have ever been on vacation, you know how hard this is. Maya makes the best breakfast ever. The Miami Open DID NOT DISAPPOINT. Amy and Maya look for the good swag. No, they did not get the $100 hot dog. You are talking to hot dog purists. Don’t waste your Wagyu on a hot dog. The ladies have their amazing seats again next to the player’s box with coaches and family. Hailey Baptist is sitting a few seats away. First match: Jannik Sinner vs. Frances Tiafoe. Sinner’s forehands are the hardest a human can hit anything. Seeing Martina Navratilova causes Amy an injury. Coco Gauff wears a hat? Martina, Cocoa, Big Foe, and Sinner! The Uber home was a “premium experience” filled with war movie explosions, machine gun fire, and Werther’s Originals. The gals also get “back in the tank”. If you know, you know. The best product came from two nerds who don’t have girlfriends, but they’re pretty sure if they did, said girlfriends would want to shower with them. Amy and Maya have a great rooftop dinner starring an amazing Euro-trash DJ and a tiny, angry man. Best trip ever!