The standards expected in motherhood are impossible. And most of us don't even notice we've signed up to it until we feel burned out and miserable. .

This episode starts with a poem Jacky wrote called 'Yummy Mummy' - all the ways in which we can try to show we have 'got out shit together' as mothers, whilst nothing goes according to plan. Because that's what it's like when you deal with frustration by 'upping your game'. YOu keep trying. It looks like effort. It looks like caring. And underneath it is one quiet, relentless message: if I can just do enough, I'll feel okay.

Jacky introduces the frustration triangle - the three places we go when frustration hits. The blamer. The self-shamer. The up-your-gamer. And explores the one she lived in for years. The one that motherhood is particularly good at triggering. Because nobody gives you feedback in motherhood. Nobody tells you you've cracked it, and that lack of validation can trigger old 'not enough' wounds.

In this episode:

What the up-your-gamer actually is

The moment Jacky realised she was doing everything 'right' and connecting with nothing

Why motherhood is such a perfect mirror, showing you every wound you thought you'd dealt with

The despair magnet - how one rupture can pull in every previous failure until you're not just feeling bad about today, you're tallying evidence against yourself going back years

The shift from perfect to present.

What the up-your-gamer is really asking for underneath all that effort - and the four things worth getting honest about.