Disconnection doesn’t always look like conflict.
Sometimes it looks like silence.
Like proximity without presence.
Like two people sitting right next to each other…both mentally somewhere else.
That’s where this conversation lives.
In this episode, Words and Julanda wrap up the series by focusing on what it actually takes to move from constant digital engagement to real, intentional connection. Their secret is not just avoiding the phone, but replacing it with something that actually pulls you closer.
The truth is that phones don’t just distract from your marriage. In fact, if you’re not careful, those devices can compete with
Conversations.
Attention.
Intimacy.
And with the everyday moments that quietly build (or break) your connection.
And if nothing interrupts that pattern, it becomes normal.
Words and Julanda explore what this shift looks like in real life:
Being in the same bed, both scrolling.
Going out on date night, but still checking notifications.
Trying to have a conversation while one person is half-listening.
These disconnections aren’t necessarily because there’s a lack of love.
But they definitely indicate a lack of presence.
And over time, that distance starts to erode the connection between spouses.
They explore:
- How constant phone use creates subtle but consistent disconnection
- The emotional impact of not feeling heard, seen, or fully engaged
- How different digital habits and algorithms can create tension inside a marriage
- Why being “around each other” isn’t the same as actually connecting
- The quiet resentment that can build when attention feels divided
The conversation then shifts from awareness to action.
Because once you recognize the disconnect, the question becomes:
What do you replace it with?
They break down the intentional choices they’ve made to reconnect consistently in real life, even if it’s not picture perfect in the moment.
Things like:
- Creating tech-free spaces and routines inside the home
- Putting phones down during conversations as a sign of respect
- Establishing family rhythms that make screens less relevant
- Being intentional about date nights, shared activities, and daily interaction
- Choosing presence even in silence
When connection is strong, the phone naturally loses its grip.
But when connection is weak, the phone fills the gap.
And one of the biggest takeaways from this episode is simple, but powerful:
You don’t fix disconnection by removing the phone.
You fix it by making connection more valuable than the phone.
They also get into the real tension of modern life, including how hard it actually is to unplug, the fear of missing out, and the ways social media can start to feel like a substitute for real connection if you’re not careful.
And still, the conclusion stays the same:
You don’t need more access.
You need more intention.
They close with a challenge—not to go extreme, but to start small.
To create one moment this week where connection is the priority.
Where the phone isn’t the default
And presence is chosen on purpose.
At the end of the day, your marriage won’t be built on what you consumed.
It will be built on what you shared.
That’s the work behind the vows.
Stay Connected on Socials
The Work Behind The Vows: https://www.instagram.com/theworkbehindthevowspodcast/
Words: https://www.instagram.com/wordstaylor/
@WordsTaylor on Instagram and TikTok
Julanda: https://www.instagram.com/msjulandataylor/
@MsJulandaTaylor on Instagram and TikTok
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