What if the people who trigger you the most are actually showing you something about yourself?

In this episode of This Triggers Me, Dr Audra Horney (a therapist for men) and Dr. Brendan K. Hartman (a sociologist who researches the emotional well being of boys) turn the conversation inward by unpacking who they get triggered by and why. Instead of using triggers as proof someone else is wrong, they explore how triggers can become invitations toward self awareness, accountability and growth.

From online outrage culture to jealousy, self censorship, polarization, and fear of being misunderstood, this conversation dives into the emotional complexity behind public discourse around men’s mental health, gender, and relationships.

Key takeaways:

• Why triggers can be opportunities for self-reflection instead of just blame
• How outrage culture rewards certainty, confidence, and black and white thinking
• Why people with overlapping views can sometimes feel more triggering than complete opposites
• The emotional impact of online audiences, comment sections and public scrutiny
• How fear of credibility loss shapes conversations around masculinity and men’s mental health
• Audra’s reflections on jealousy, self censorship and being compared to creators she disagrees with
• Brendan’s critique of gender essentialism and overly simplistic relationship advice online
• The tension between intention, audience impact and nuance in creator spaces
• How polarization makes meaningful dialogue more difficult
• Why therapy for men and emotionally honest conversations require tolerating discomfort and complexity

Connect with us

Email- thistriggersmepodcast@gmail.com

Social media- https://www.instagram.com/dr.audra.horney/

https://www.instagram.com/re.masculine/

https://www.instagram.com/thistriggersmepod/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thistriggersmepod

Find a Therapist for Men: www.draudra.com

Podcast post-production: Stacy Blackburn

What if men and women stopped arguing about who suffers more and started trying to understand each other instead?

In this episode of This Triggers Me, Dr Audra Horney (a therapist for men) and Dr. Brendan K. Hartman (a sociologist who researches the emotional well being of boys) take on “suffering contests” and the growing divide in conversations around gender.

Through a role reversal exercise, they each advocate for the other gender’s experience, exploring the pain, pressure, loneliness, fear and emotional labor that often go unseen. Instead of debating who has it worse, this conversation focuses on empathy, nuance and what both men and women wish the other truly understood about men’s mental health, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.

Key takeaways:

• What “suffering contests” are and how they fuel polarization around gender
• The difference between acknowledging pain and weaponizing “what about…” arguments
• Why many men crave emotional intimacy, affection, and closeness beyond sex
• The impact of touch starvation, shame, and fear of being a burden on men’s mental health
• How boys and men are often negatively reinforced for emotional vulnerability
• Why many men are trying to grow despite limited emotional socialization
• The invisible emotional labor many women carry in relationships and daily life
• How safety vigilance and threats to bodily autonomy shape women’s experiences
• Why “not all men” conversations often miss the emotional point being made
• How role reversal and empty chair exercises can build empathy and understanding
• Why emotionally honest dialogue matters for healthier relationships, men’s wellbeing and connection

Connect with us

Email- thistriggersmepodcast@gmail.com

Social media- https://www.instagram.com/dr.audra.horney/

https://www.instagram.com/re.masculine/

https://www.instagram.com/thistriggersmepod/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thistriggersmepod

Find a Therapist for Men: www.draudra.com

Podcast post-production: Stacy Blackburn

Why do conversations about fathers bring up so much emotion, shame, and defensiveness, especially for men?

In this episode of This Triggers Me, Dr Audra Horney (a therapist for men) and Dr. Brendan K. Hartman (a sociologist who researches the emotional well being of boys) unpack the complicated role fathers play in shaping men’s mental health, identity and emotional development.

From father wounds to modern parenting expectations, they explore why dads are often seen as either sacred or suspect and how both extremes miss the nuance. This conversation dives into generational shifts in fatherhood, emotional connection, shame, repair and the impact fathers have on boys and men’s wellbeing.

Key takeaways:

• Why fathers are such a triggering topic in conversations about masculinity and men’s mental health
• The tension between over praising dads for “bare minimum” parenting while also under crediting involved fathers
• How modern fatherhood has shifted across generations
• Common father wounds and why many men struggle to honestly reflect on their relationship with their dad
• The impact of emotional connection (or lack of it) on boys’ emotional development and men’s wellbeing
• Different father archetypes: the tyrant, the absent/workaholic father, and the teacher
• Why repair after mistakes matters more than perfection in parenting
• Research on fatherhood, bonding, hormones and paternity leave
• The loneliness and isolation many involved fathers experience
• Why men in caregiving roles are often treated with suspicion
• How therapy for men can help unpack shame, resentment, grief and emotional patterns tied to fatherhood

Connect with us

Email- thistriggersmepodcast@gmail.com

Social media- https://www.instagram.com/dr.audra.horney/

https://www.instagram.com/re.masculine/

https://www.instagram.com/thistriggersmepod/

https://www.tiktok.com/@thistriggersmepod

Find a Therapist for Men: www.draudra.com

Podcast post-production: Stacy Blackburn