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  • Your Brain Was Wired for Purpose | Ft. Lance

    Your Brain Was Wired for Purpose | Ft. Lance
    2026/06/26
    Episode SummaryMost men aren't burned out, checked out, or broken — they're purposeless. And according to Lance, a licensed therapist, pastor, and addiction counselor who has sat across from thousands of men in crisis, that one missing thing is the root of nearly every problem men are facing today.What makes this episode unlike anything We Take the Stairs has recorded is the lens Lance brings. He speaks as a clinician, a pastor, a divorced man who rebuilt, and someone who has mapped the male crisis from every angle — neuroscience, scripture, and lived experience. He connects the dots between why men disengage in marriage, why addiction spikes at retirement, why the brain literally wires itself toward purpose, and why a man without meaning will find something — anything — to fill that void. The science and the scripture point to the same answer. This episode is that answer.Guest Lance — Licensed therapist, pastor, addiction counselor, and clinical professional based in South Florida. Lance runs a private practice, works in addiction recovery, and brings a rare combination of neuroscience, faith, and lived experience to every conversation about men.Chapters00:00 — The One Question: Meaning and Purpose01:31 — Why Men Check Out After Work — And What's Really Going On04:09 — Protect, Pray, Provide — Why That's No Longer Enough11:43 — The Neuroscience of Purpose: Grid Cells, Flow States & Your Hot Spot13:49 — Who Moved My Cheese: How Meaning Shifts Through Life Stages16:20 — The Empty Nester, the Retiree & Why Addiction Spikes at 6518:00 — Why the Church Is Actually Built for Every Stage of Life20:18 — The Role of Mentors & Why God Puts the Right People on Your Path25:06 — The Manosphere, Broken Systems & God's Design for Men32:02 — The Neuroscience of Social Media & Why We're More Disconnected Than Ever44:25 — Lance's Personal Story: Seminary, Loss & Finding Purpose Through Crisis55:28 — What Is a Crisis? Real Stories of Men Who Lost Everything01:03:47 — How to Navigate Crisis: Get to a Church, Find Community, Ask for Help01:11:39 — Three Practical Steps to Rewire Your Brain Toward Real Connection01:15:51 — The REACH Method: A Clinical & Biblical Framework for Forgiveness01:30:00 — We Takes: Crisis Isn't the End — It's the CatalystKey Topics CoveredMeaning and Purpose as the Root Problem — Lance doesn't start with behavior. He starts with the existential question every man is quietly asking: Why am I here? Do I matter? Is what I'm doing enough? Every other crisis — disconnection, addiction, disengagement in marriage — is downstream of this one unanswered question.Why Men Check Out After Work — A man who comes home and unplugs isn't being passive out of laziness. He's been reduced to a role — protect, pray, provide — and he's fulfilled it. Nobody told him that wasn't enough. Lance unpacks why this creates a silent, growing disconnect in marriages and what both spouses can actually do about it.The Neuroscience of Purpose — One of the most unique moments in We Take the Stairs history. Lance breaks down what happens in the brain when a man finds his purpose — grid cells, place cells, the entorhinal cortex, and the state of flow. Your brain is literally wired to detect when you're on course. Purpose isn't mystical. It's neurological.Who Moved My Cheese — Meaning Shifts Across Life Stages — Lance references Dr. Spencer Johnson's framework to map how what gives a man meaning changes at every stage: his 20s, his 30s, the empty nest, retirement. Men who don't know their meaning is shifting often collapse — or numb themselves — without knowing why.Why Addiction Spikes in Retirement — One of the most surprising and sobering moments of the episode. Lance shares that one of the top reasons men develop addiction later in life is having nothing left to do. Bills paid. Kids gone. No purpose. And suddenly a drink at the country club becomes a daily ritual of slowly disappearing.The Church as a Lifelong Framework — Lance and Rachael land on something that rarely gets said clearly: the church, when it functions as designed, is the only institution that meets men at every stage of life — from formation in youth to mentorship in old age. The design is right. The execution is what varies.Community Dating — Lance advocates for dating in community — group dates, letting trusted people weigh in, watching how a potential spouse interacts with people who matter to you. The best marriages he's seen were built on more than two people deciding in isolation.Crisis as a Catalyst — The closing of the episode reframes everything. A crisis — a lost job, a broken marriage, a failed season — isn't the end of who you are. For men who know their identity, it becomes the very thing that pushes them further into their purpose.Scriptures & Concepts ReferencedErikson's Eight Stages of Identity FormationRomans 8:28 — All things work together for goodThe ...
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    1 時間 36 分
  • The War for Every Man's Identity | FT. Joshua

    The War for Every Man's Identity | FT. Joshua
    2026/06/19
    We ask one question to every man who sits down with us: What is the biggest problem men are facing in society based on your experience and perspective?For Joshua — former Marine, 14-year firefighter, and founder of Journey to Jericho — the answer came without hesitation: identity crisis. Not knowing who we are when God calls us sons. Living like orphans instead of children who are fully adopted, fully gifted, fully loved.This episode, recorded with Joshua joining from his hot rod shop in Columbia, Tennessee, is one of the most spiritually rich and tactically practical conversations We Take the Stairs has had. Joshua doesn't just talk theology. He runs a literal shop where fatherless young men learn to weld, grind, and turn wrenches — while quietly, patiently, being shown what an authentic man actually looks like. His own story, marked by a broken home and one Vietnam veteran named Ray who changed everything in six Saturdays, grounds everything he teaches.GuestJoshua — Founder of Journey to Jericho, a mentorship ministry based in Columbia, Tennessee, that uses a hot rod shop to build relationships with fatherless young men. A former Marine and 14-year firefighter, Joshua left a stable career and moved his family across the country in obedience to what he believed God was calling him to do.Chapters00:00 — The One Question: Identity Crisis03:30 — The Three P's: Power, Productivity, Prosperity09:00 — Journey to Jericho: The Hot Rod Shop With a Deeper Mission16:00 — Ray: The Man Who Changed Everything in Six Saturdays23:00 — Hitting Rock Bottom at 30 — and the Prayer That Changed His Life33:00 — Friend, Mirror, Minister: How Real Mentorship Works39:00 — The Lamb and the Lion: Redefining What a Husband Is For46:00 — Testimony: A Family Restored Through One Small Act of Showing Up58:00 — The Traps Keeping Men Stuck — Power, Comfort & Noise01:06:00 — Leaving Comfort: The Move to Tennessee & the Church That Pushed BackKey Topics CoveredIdentity Crisis — Joshua's answer cuts to the foundation: men were never meant to live as orphans, figuring it out alone, when they've actually been adopted as sons. Everything else — power, productivity, prosperity — is built on this one cornerstone.The Three P's — Power, productivity, prosperity. Joshua names the worldly substitutes men chase instead of sonship, and why even the richest men he's met are often the most miserable.Ray: The First Real Man — Joshua's foundational story. A Vietnam Marine who watched him and his brother for six Saturdays, taught him to weld, and modeled something Joshua had never seen — honoring his wife as his prize. That moment became the question Joshua chased for the next twenty years.The 30th Birthday Breaking Point — After years of performing discipline without a changed heart, Joshua hit bottom and cried out to God to either kill him or change him. That surrender — not effort — was the beginning of real transformation.Friend, Mirror, Minister — Joshua's framework for mentoring young men: build trust as a friend, reflect Christ's light as a mirror, then minister from that place of earned trust. Skip a step and the whole thing breaks down.The Lamb and the Lion — One of the most theologically rich moments of the episode. The Jews wanted a warrior king. They got a sacrificial lamb. Joshua applies this directly to husbands: leadership through sacrifice, not domination.A Family Restored — Joshua shares the story of a mother and two adult children, each carrying wounds from church hurt, slowly restored through nine months of simply showing up — no agenda, no lectures, just consistent presence.Comfort as the Enemy — When Joshua left a stable 14-year firefighting career to move his family to a town he'd never visited, the harshest pushback came from fellow believers. Joshua's takeaway: comfort had become their idol, and his obedience exposed it.Books Referenced📖 Wild at Heart — John Eldredge — "I want to be rather than to appear."Key Quotes"If I am his son, I no longer have to live as an orphan. I no longer have to figure it out on my own." — Joshua"It's not what they do, but it's who they are." — Joshua"Identity found in anything other than Christ is absolutely futile." — Joshua"Comfort is one of our worst enemies. Enjoy it while you got it. Do not let it become your god." — Joshua"A generation will grow great when old men are willing to plant trees they will never sit under." — Joshua"A son cannot give what he has not received." — JoshuaPractical TakeawaysAsk God ten thousand questions instead of relying on your own wisdom.Invite one young man for a cup of coffee — that's a touch point, not a small thing.Take the tactical pause. Stop, ask the Father who he says you are, and let him answer.Christian podcast for menmale identity crisis faithbiblical sonship and identitymen's mentorship ministryChristian men's podcast fatherless generation
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    1 時間 14 分
  • HOW MEN BECOME UNSHAKABLE

    HOW MEN BECOME UNSHAKABLE
    2026/06/12
    James and Madison never expected a single call to change their family's future.After their son received a rare diagnosis, they faced uncertainty, fear, and challenges no parent wants to endure. But this conversation is less about the diagnosis and more about the resilience, faith, and strength they developed through it.In this episode of We Take The Stairs, Rachel and Jackson sit down with James and Madison to discuss raising boys in today's culture, navigating adversity as a family, and the lessons that helped them grow stronger through life's hardest seasons.This is a conversation about resilience, responsibility, and becoming the kind of person who stays steady when life gets difficult. Because strength is built through adversity.FULL SUMMARYWhat does it take to become unshakable?In this episode of We Take The Stairs, Rachel and Jackson sit down with James and Madison to discuss resilience, faith, marriage, family, and the challenges facing men today.They explore why many young men struggle with purpose and responsibility, why challenge and accountability are essential for growth, and what it takes to raise strong children in today's culture.The conversation becomes deeply personal as they share their son's diagnosis with MED13L Syndrome, a rare genetic condition affecting development, speech, and cognition. More importantly, they reflect on how adversity strengthened their faith, revealed hidden strengths, and shaped them as individuals, parents, and partners.Together, they discuss leadership in the home, the importance of partnership, and how responsibility, gratitude, and perseverance build stronger people, marriages, and families.This episode is a powerful reminder that strength is built through adversity, and that life's hardest seasons often become the greatest opportunities for growth.KEY TAKEAWAYS• Resilience is built through hardship, responsibility, and action.• Strong men are developed through challenge, purpose, and accountability.• Many young men struggle due to a lack of direction and meaningful responsibility.• Physical activity, discipline, mentorship, and competition help build confident men.• Strong marriages require communication, teamwork, and commitment through adversity.• True presence requires attention, leadership, and engagement.• Adversity reveals character, strength, and opportunities for growth.• Faith provides stability when circumstances are uncertain.• Personal responsibility drives growth and transformation.• Joy comes from gratitude, perspective, and purpose, not circumstances.• Strong families face hardship together rather than avoid it.EPISODE CHAPTERS0:00 — Intro & Meet James and Madison0:42 — The Crisis Facing Men Today1:55 — Why Boys Are Struggling4:13 — The Purpose Gap6:15 — Building Resilience8:45 — Why Men Check Out9:40 — Presence at Home11:13 — The Life-Changing Diagnosis12:13 — Communication in Crisis14:13 — Parenting, Marriage & Resilience17:49 — True Partnership18:42 — Masculinity, Femininity & Security22:05 — Marriage, Identity & Leadership25:21 — Understanding MED13L Syndrome28:57 — Fighting for Their Son32:31 — Lessons in Marriage35:15 — Preparing for Adversity37:35 — Responsibility & Growth38:56 — How Men Grow Stronger41:05 — Accountability & Grace43:28 — Friends Who Challenge You45:18 — Confidence vs. Arrogance47:35 — Authentic Relationships50:11 — Lessons From Hardship52:00 — Happiness vs. Joy54:21 — Advice for Struggling Families58:29 — Final Reflections & We TakesGUEST INFOJames & MadisonJames and Madison are business owners, parents, and advocates for intentional family living. They share their experience navigating marriage, entrepreneurship, raising two boys, and supporting their oldest son following a rare MED13L Syndrome diagnosis.Their story highlights resilience, faith, responsibility, communication, and the power of facing life's challenges together. Through adversity, they discovered deeper purpose, stronger partnership, and a renewed commitment to leading their family with courage and conviction.SEO KEYWORDS & TAGSPrimary Keywordshow men become unshakableresilience for menmodern masculinityraising boysstrong menpurpose and responsibilitymarriage and resiliencefaith and familypersonal responsibilityfamily leadershipovercoming adversitymental toughnessresilient familiesstrong marriagesleadership in the home
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    1 時間 3 分
  • The Self-Reliance Trap: Why the Thing You Think Makes You Strong Is Keeping You Alone

    The Self-Reliance Trap: Why the Thing You Think Makes You Strong Is Keeping You Alone
    2026/06/05
    What if the thing you thought made you strong — your self-reliance — is actually what's costing you your relationships, your peace, and your purpose? Jackson sits down with his own father for one of the most honest conversations on this show.FULL SUMMARY:This episode is different. Jackson brings his father David — a 37-year corporate veteran who retired as VP and General Manager of Valvoline's US lubricant business — onto the show for a rare father-son conversation about what the world is getting wrong about men.The core question: Is self-reliance a virtue or a trap? David's answer is both — and the line between the two is something most men never find until something breaks.They cover the cultural lies men are fed about success, independence, and worth. David shares candidly about losing his father at 35, chasing the next thing only to feel empty, and what he would tell every young man today. But the conversation takes an unexpected turn when Jackson opens up about a season of deep isolation as a teenager — and a moment he nearly didn't make it through. A conversation for every man who was raised to do it alone — and every father who didn't know his son was drowning.Key TakeawaysSelf-reliance is a virtue until it becomes a wall. The same strength that gets you through hard things eventually cuts you off from the people who could help you.Every decision is made out of love or fear. Once you know which one is driving you, everything changes.Meekness is not weakness. It is power under control — a man who chooses not to assert dominance is more powerful than one who has to prove himself constantly.Boys don't learn how to be men by being told. They catch it by watching. Fatherless homes aren't just painful — they're a missing education no classroom can replace.The dopamine isn't in the achievement — it's in the pursuit. Men who hit the number feel empty. The target was never the point.Talking about someone to others instead of directly to them leaves wounds that last decades. Praise that travels through other people never fully lands.Showing up and paying attention is the job. It's not complicated. But it requires presence — and most men are physically there while mentally somewhere else.Episode ChaptersFor YouTube chapter markers and podcast timestamps.0:00 — Intro & Who Is David?0:35 — The Core Question: Self-Reliance — Virtue or Trap?3:50 — Meekness Is Not Weakness: What the Beatitudes Actually Say7:15 — Love vs. Fear: The Two Motivations Behind Every Decision10:37 — Why the Messaging to Men Is Broken13:31 — Women Are Better at Community — And What That Costs Men17:35 — The Lies Men Believe That Lead to Self-Reliance19:25 — The Work Harder Lie: Why Hustle Culture Is a Fallacy21:46 — Society Keeps Showing Men the Wrong Picture of Success25:38 — Happiness vs. Joy: Chasing One Leaves You Empty30:41 — David Chased Jobs and Cars Too — Here's What He Found32:23 — Jackson Asks: You Have the Nice Car. How Do I Not Want Shortcuts?35:50 — The Amazon Prime Problem: This Generation Expects Everything Now38:34 — Porn, Broken Communication & Replacing People With Things40:15 — When the Wheels Come Off: The Thread Every Generation Shares43:00 — David's Breaking Point: Losing His Father at 3546:07 — Is There an Event That Shakes You Into Realizing Your Priorities Are Wrong?47:30 — David's Career: 37 Years, VP at Valvoline, B P&L49:09 — The Dad Who Praised Him to Others but Never Directly to Him51:24 — I've Fired People for Thinking They Didn't Need Anyone56:27 — The Greatest Joy: Working Yourself Out of a Job1:09:19 — You Didn't Teach Me to Sell. You Taught Me to Treat People.1:17:52 — Everybody Is Replaceable: The Truth About Being Too Valuable to Promote1:21:53 — He Learned His Father's Salary on His Deathbed — and Was Shattered1:26:04 — The Dopamine Reset: Why the Journey Is the Point1:33:29 — Jackson Opens Up: Self-Reliance at 13 Looked Like Nobody Cares1:36:30 — The Two People Who Cared Most — He Couldn't Let In1:37:04 — The Moment Jackson Nearly Didn't Make It1:38:26 — What's the Magic Sauce for Parents? Show Up and Pay Attention.1:40:10 — David's Response: I Could Not Be More Proud of YouGuest InfoName: David YoungRelationship to Host: Jackson's fatherBackground: 37-year corporate veteran, retired VP and General Manager of Valvoline's US lubricant business. Led a team of 270 people overseeing B+ in annual revenue. Known for collaborative leadership and developing people — he deliberately worked himself out of his final role by building his team up to not need him. Now involved in a nonprofit helping estranged fathers reconnect with their children through the legal system, and guest lectures at universities on what corporate life actually looks like before young people enter it.Key Details From the Episode:Lost his father to cancer around age 35 — his most significant personal breaking pointGrew up in a home where ...
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    1 時間 43 分
  • Men's Identity Crisis: The Lie That's Keeping You Passive, Afraid, and Stuck

    Men's Identity Crisis: The Lie That's Keeping You Passive, Afraid, and Stuck
    2026/05/29
    Kyle didn't know he was a king who forgot his kingdom. Depression at 14. Near-suicide. Years of rejection, numbness, and false identity. In this conversation, he unpacks the root problem men won't admit they have.FULL SUMMARY:What is the main problem men are facing today? For Kyle, the answer cuts deeper than surface-level symptoms. It's not just the passivity. Not just the fear. It's an identity crisis — and it's been engineered.Kyle opens up about a decade-long battle with depression that started at 14, years of rejection in work and relationships, and the moments he nearly didn't make it through. He talks honestly about how the enemy uses passivity, fear, and false belief systems to keep men living like peasants when they were made to lead like royalty.This conversation goes to the root — exploring why men can appear successful on the outside (money, followers, status) while still being completely unmoored from their actual purpose. Kyle shares the specific tools he's used to fight back: sticky notes on his bathroom mirror, iron-sharpening-iron community, speaking truth out loud over himself, and the moment a stranger at a church camp changed everything with nine words.Rachael and Jackson press in with honest, challenging questions about what it was like to be a young man drowning in silence — and what would have actually helped. The result is one of the most raw and practical conversations we've had on the show.Key TakeawaysPassivity and fear are symptoms. Identity is the root. Until men know who they are in Christ, everything else is a Band-Aid.Satan's oldest trick is convincing a prince he's a peasant. The lie isn't loud — it's the slow accumulation of rejection, failure, and silence.Men don't need someone to tell them they're fearfully and wonderfully made. They need someone who does something they respect, who then earns the right to say it.Speaking truth out loud over yourself — not just knowing it mentally — is the mechanism that actually shifts belief.White-knuckling through depression isn't healing. It's managed pain. Real healing happens when you open up to the right people.Your worth is not your income. This is a lie fed to men by the world and, often, reinforced by women. Kyle and Rachael name this directly.Boys who grew up with social media starting at 12 are fighting a war previous generations didn't face. The tools they need are different.Being a coworker with Christ means both trusting God to provide and showing up to do the work. The tension between those two is where most men get lost.Episode ChaptersFor YouTube chapter markers and podcast timestamps.0:00 — Intro & Welcome: Who Is Kyle?0:46 — The Core Question: What Is the Biggest Problem Men Are Facing?1:00 — The Three-Part Answer: Passivity, Fear & Identity2:20 — The Ancient Kingdom Story: Why Identity Is Everything5:00 — A False Identity Looks Like Success (The Distraction)6:53 — When Did Kyle First Notice Identity Was a Problem?7:48 — Kyle's Personal Testimony: Depression Starting at 1413:38 — What Betrayal Actually Did to Him (The Question No One Had Asked)17:00 — Rachael's Perspective: Testosterone, Teen Boys & What We're Losing19:22 — The Closest Kyle Came to Not Making It22:21 — How to Actually Reach a Young Man (The Subaru Moment)23:39 — What Kyle Ran To Instead: Drugs, Alcohol, Women, Porn24:50 — The Church Camp That Changed Everything36:02 — The Sticky Notes on the Mirror38:53 — This Is Not Just Kyle: Why Young Men Are Paralyzed39:56 — CDC Data on Male Suicide and Depression41:22 — Iron Sharpens Iron: The Community That Unlocked the Healing42:57 — The Enemy's Tool: Shame That Keeps Men Silent47:52 — When You Open Up and Get Rejected: What to Do Next52:30 — Social Media Told Kyle He Wasn't Enough Starting at 1254:49 — Identity Is the Answer to Every Problem We Just Named57:46 — Your Words Are Life or Death: The Rudder of the Ship59:00 — Kyle's Truth: God and I Are Coworkers1:04:07 — Rachael's Honest Word to Men About Worth and Income1:07:30 — The Balance Between God as Provider and Man as Provider1:10:01 — The We Takes: What Everyone Is Walking Away With1:12:13 — It Is Only by the Grace of God That I Am Still Here1:14:51 — A Prophecy Spoken Over Kyle and What He Thinks It Means1:16:09 — Rachael's We Take: Every One of You Is Worth ItGuest InfoName: KyleBackground: Filmmaker, entrepreneur, and community builder based in South Florida. Kyle is a deeply faith-rooted young man who has walked through depression, near-suicide, relational betrayal, and a long journey of learning to root his identity in Christ rather than performance, approval, or relationships. He is engaged and preparing for marriage.SEO Keywords & TagsPrimary Keywordsmen's identity crisismen and depression podcastChristian men podcastmen's mental health faithmale suicide preventionpassivity in menidentity in Christ men
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    1 時間 18 分
  • Too Many Options, Zero Commitment | Ft. Chris

    Too Many Options, Zero Commitment | Ft. Chris
    2026/05/22
    Episode SummaryWe ask one question to every man who sits down with us: What is the biggest problem men are facing today?For Chris — young adults pastor, filmmaker, and man of faith — the answer was precise: Commitment paralysis. Too many options. Not enough formation. And a generation of men who were shaped by culture, media, and social media into believing that the next option is always better than the one in front of them — in relationships, in work, and in life.What follows is one of the most practically honest and spiritually grounded conversations We Take the Stairs has had. Chris doesn't just name the problem. He lived it — from a porn addiction he wasn't aware was affecting him, to a subconscious belief that staying young and keeping options open was the smart play. He talks through what it costs men, what's causing it, and the only foundation that actually produces the commitment men were designed to walk in.Guest Chris Kish — Young adults pastor at Family Church, filmmaker, and man of faith based in South Florida. Chris works daily with men and women ages 22–39 navigating the exact issues discussed in this episode — and is three months away from marrying his fiancée Christy.Chapters00:00 — The One Question: Commitment Paralysis02:00 — Too Many Options, Not Enough Formation06:00 — The Subconscious Shaping: Music, TV & Staying Young Forever10:00 — Porn, Paralysis & the Connection Nobody Names17:00 — The Chair Story: Discipline Only Where You Care28:00 — Dating Apps & the Sea of Options Killing Commitment39:00 — The Funeral and the Coronation: How to Actually Change50:00 — Church Hurt, Attribution & the Character of God01:03:00 — The Fatherless Generation: Why Satan Is Ramping Up01:13:00 — Rapid Fire & We TakesKey Topics CoveredCommitment Paralysis — Chris's core answer: men today face too many options and not enough helpful formation. The result is a generation stuck in indecision — unable to choose a job, a city, a relationship, or a future. Not because they're lazy, but because they were shaped this way without knowing it.The Subconscious Shaping of a Generation — From Friends to Jay-Z to homecoming playlists, the message men absorbed growing up was clear: stay young, keep your options open, and the guy with the most freedom wins. No one said it directly. But it played on repeat until it became the default.Porn, Options & the Connection Nobody Names — One of the most candid moments of the episode. Rachael connects the dots between commitment paralysis and pornography addiction — if men are given every external pressure imaginable and then handed one easy, no-consequence outlet, the math isn't hard. Chris opens up about his own past with porn addiction and how he wasn't even aware it was affecting him.Discipline Only Where You Care — Chris tells the story of a college job setting up chapel chairs. He was fast and excellent at things he cared about — and visibly checked out on everything else. His friend called it out: you look lazy and apathetic when you don't care. Chris makes the case that men are all-in when they're passionate — but culture has broken the pipeline between discipline and desire.Dating Apps & the Infinite Sea — Hinge, Tinder, Instagram DMs, Facebook Dating. Chris breaks down precisely how swiping left and right trained men's brains to make snap judgments in two seconds — and how that habit bleeds into every real relationship when it's time to actually commit. You end up constructing a perfect person in your mind from the best parts of everyone you've seen — and no one real will ever match that.The Coronation and the Funeral — The most spiritually direct moment of the episode. Chris's answer for men who want to break the cycle — believer or not: every morning you need a coronation and a funeral. You crown Christ as king and you die to yourself. That's the only foundation that produces real commitment, because it removes you from the center.Church Hurt & the Character of God — A compassionate and direct response to men who've been burned by religious institutions and blamed God for it. Chris names it clearly: that's attributing human characteristics to God. God's character hasn't changed. His kindness is still leading you to repentance — even now.The Fatherless Generation — Chris frames the epidemic of absent fathers not as a sociological trend but as a spiritual battle. Satan knows every day that passes gets one day closer to Jesus coming back. So he's ramping up the attack on God's design for family, marriage, and fatherhood. The answer isn't a program. It's the gospel.Scriptures ReferencedMatthew 6:33 — Seek first the kingdom of GodRomans 7 — The things I don't want to do, I do1 Corinthians 16:13 — Be watchful, stand firm, act like men, be strong2 Corinthians 5:17-21 — Ministry of reconciliation, ambassador for ChristBooks Referenced 📖 The Bait of Satan — John Bevere Jackson references this during...
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    1 時間 24 分
  • Every man is avoiding something, here’s the cost | Ft. Sebastian Y.

    Every man is avoiding something, here’s the cost | Ft. Sebastian Y.
    2026/05/15
    We ask one question to every man who sits across from us: What is the most challenging thing men are facing in society today?For Sebastian — life coach, entrepreneur, husband, and new father — the answer was sharp and immediate: Men are afraid of conflict. Not conflict in the explosive sense. Conflict in the daily sense. The conversation they won't have. The boundary they won't set. The truth they won't say out loud. And in avoiding it, men create a slow-burning disaster in their marriages, their work, their identity, and their homes.What follows is one of the most wide-ranging and practically honest conversations We Take the Stairs has ever had. Sebastian has lived every side of this — the six-figure income, the burnout, the infidelity, the spiritual emptiness, the performance-based life that looked perfect from the outside and was hollow at the core. He doesn't preach. He diagnoses. And then he offers a way through.Guest Sebastian — Life coach, entrepreneur, and new father based in South Florida. Born in Colombia and raised in a high-achieving immigrant household, Sebastian spent his twenties chasing success through self-will, manifesting, and performance — until it all collapsed and Jesus showed up. He now works daily with families navigating broken relationships, helping them see what avoiding hard conversations costs them — and how to start having them.Chapters00:00 — Welcome & The One Question: Men Are Afraid of Conflict01:30 — Why Men Can't Emotionally Regulate — and What It Costs Them05:00 — The Most Successful Men Are Often the Most Masked08:00 — Social Media, Young Men & the False Definition of Manhood14:00 — The Golden Handcuffs: Sebastian's Story Begins22:00 — When You're Your Own God: Manifesting, Burnout & Infidelity29:00 — Front Load Discomfort or Pay Later — But You Will Pay38:00 — Communication Breakdown: How Avoiding Conflict Kills Marriages46:00 — What the World Is Selling Men — and Why It Always Comes Up Empty57:00 — When Jesus Walked In: From Performance to RelationshipKey Topics CoveredMen Are Afraid of Conflict — Sebastian's core answer: men have never been properly taught to emotionally regulate, so they avoid any friction that might create discomfort. But avoiding conflict doesn't make it go away — it builds pressure until it explodes in all the wrong places.The Most Successful Men Are the Most Masked — A sharp observation from Sebastian: the men most prone to emotional armor are the highest achievers. They're hiding something beneath the drive, and their relentless pursuit of more is often a way to never look inward.Front Load Discomfort or Pay Later — One of the most practical frameworks in the episode. You will experience discomfort either way. Choose it now — the hard conversation, the honest moment, the difficult work on your heart — and it's manageable. Delay it, and it compounds into something far heavier.Sebastian's Story: The Life That Had Everything — VP title at 25. Six-figure income. Beautiful car. South Florida lifestyle. And completely burnt out, unfulfilled, and hiding behind performance. Sebastian traces how chasing the life he thought he wanted left a vacuum that nothing could fill — and what eventually filled it.When You're Your Own God — Sebastian spent years in the manifesting world — visualizing, aligning vibrations, trying to control outcomes. It worked, to a point. But it also meant he had to control everything, including the people around him. The conflict avoidance wasn't just a communication problem. It was a theology problem.Communication Is the Solution Most Men Won't Try — The dishes analogy lands hard: a man silently tallying every dish he washed, never saying a word, and then exploding after weeks of resentment. Sebastian breaks down why men don't communicate, why avoiding conflict creates the exact conflict they fear, and what actually starts to change things.The False Picture of Manhood — From Andrew Tate to Instagram fitness influencers to rented Ferraris on Miami Beach, the world is selling boys a definition of manhood that is entirely performance-based and entirely hollow. Sebastian names it plainly — and redirects to what manhood actually requires.Key Quotes"There is no space for a man to experience conflict. And because of that, it only creates more in the long run." — Sebastian"The man that's most prone to the mask is typically the most successful — because in their desire to achieve, they're hiding something." — Sebastian"Front load discomfort by choice, and you'll experience comfort sooner than you think. Front load comfort, and the discomfort comes later — at a level outside your control." — Sebastian"It's not the thing. It's the man you have to become to get the thing. That's what lasts." — Sebastian"I was chasing success and I created a vacuum in my relationship. Something came in to fill the space I had left." — Sebastian"Until men are okay, women will not ...
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    1 時間 23 分
  • You Are Not What You Do | Ft. Joe

    You Are Not What You Do | Ft. Joe
    2026/05/08
    We ask one question to every man who sits across from us: What is the main problem men are facing in society based on your experience and perspective?For Joe — fitness trainer, founder of the Dead Ego Club, and a man who once had his entire identity built on a music career and other people's applause — the answer was immediate: Identity. Men have become human doers instead of human beings. They hide behind their job title, their income, their performance — and in doing so, they slowly lose themselves entirely.What unfolds in this episode is one of the most raw, honest, and deeply personal conversations We Take the Stairs has ever had. Joe doesn't just name the problem. He lived it. From a homeless musician chasing stages and validation, to a man who stood in front of his mirror one morning and felt something physically break off his body — Joe's story is proof that the stripping process, as painful as it is, is exactly how God reveals who you actually are.Guest Joe — Fitness trainer, founder of the Dead Ego Club, and recently married man of faith based in South Florida. Joe built a brand around one simple but radical idea: less of me. His mission is helping men strip away false identities and discover who they actually are beneath the performance.Chapters00:00 — Welcome & The One Question: Joe's Answer Is Identity01:30 — Human Doers vs. Human Beings: Why Men Hide Behind Their Work05:00 — The Billionaire Problem: Why We Label People by Net Worth08:00 — Dead Ego Club: The Music Career That Inspired the Brand14:00 — Other People's Applause Was My Drug18:00 — What Actually Helps: The Stripping Process & Jesus24:00 — Performance-Based Love: What Society Has Always Told Men29:00 — Ecclesiastes & Rest: Chasing the Wind vs. Joy in Your Labor37:00 — Rest Is Faith — And Not Resting Is Operating in Fear45:00 — Abandonment: The Root Beneath the Identity Crisis53:00 — The Mirror Moment: Speaking Identity Over Himself01:05:00 — Rapid Fire & We TakesKey Topics CoveredHuman Doers vs. Human Beings — Joe names the core of the male identity crisis: men have traded being for doing. They define themselves by their job title, income, and output — and the world reinforces this at every turn. The first question anyone asks is what do you do, not who are you.The Dead Ego Club — Born from the wreckage of a music career built entirely on performance and external validation, Joe's brand carries one message: less of me. He explains how chasing stages, applause, and celebrity left him surrounded by people but completely alone — and how that collapse became the beginning of something real.The Stripping Process — You don't find yourself by becoming more. You find yourself by stripping away what you're not. Joe references Michelangelo's famous quote about David — I just took away everything that wasn't David — and applies it directly to identity.Performance-Based Love & What Society Tells Men — Rachael makes a sharp observation: from the beginning of time, men have been conditioned to earn love through performance. Win the war, make the money, get the promotion. If you don't perform, who are you? Joe and Jackson unpack why this cycle is so hard to break — and what it costs men in relationships.Ecclesiastes & Rest — Joe opens his Bible to Ecclesiastes before the episode and finds something that speaks directly to the issue: King Solomon had everything — wealth, wisdom, pleasure — and called it all chasing the wind. The takeaway isn't stop working. It's have joy in your labor. And rest is faith. If you can't rest, you're not trusting God. You're operating in fear.Abandonment as the Root — One of the most vulnerable moments of the episode. Joe's mother left when he was in kindergarten due to drug addiction. That early wound — the fear of abandonment — followed him into every relationship for years, showing up as anxiety, people-pleasing, and performing for love. The root wasn't the relationships. It was the little boy still crying at the door.The Mirror Moment — After hitting rock bottom in a toxic relationship cycle, Joe woke up one morning, closed his Bible, looked in the mirror, and started speaking his identity out loud. Something physically broke off. He describes it as deliverance — and it was the first moment he truly began to know who he was.Affirmations and Identity — Joe has read the same set of affirmations every single day for two years. At first it feels like lying to yourself. Eventually your mind starts to believe it as truth. Repetition creates revelation.Scriptures ReferencedEcclesiastes — All is vanity; chasing the wind; have joy in your laborPsalm 46:10 — Be still and know that I am GodProverbs 3:6 — He will make your path straightEphesians 3:20 — More than we can ask or imagineBooks Referenced 📖 How to Win Friends and Influence People — Dale Carnegie Referenced by Joe: take genuine interest in other people before talking about ...
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