The conversation delves into the complexity of identity, exploring the interplay of given, discovered, constructed, and chosen elements. It also examines the role of responsibility and agency in shaping one's identity, as well as the influence of external forces, relationships, and community. The discussion further explores the potential for personal transformation, surprising self-discoveries, and the difference between who we are and who we think we are. The conversation delves into the dynamic nature of identity, emphasizing the importance of acceptance before change and the lifelong pursuit of understanding and shaping one's identity. It explores the balance between self-presentation and self-discovery, the significance of emotional work, and the distinction between uncovering and becoming. The chapters cover a range of topics, from the nature of identity to the pursuit of authenticity and the distinction between identity and image.

Takeaways

• Identity is a complex interplay of given, discovered, constructed, and chosen elements.
• Our ability to respond instead of react is a key aspect of responsibility and agency. Identity is a dynamic and evolving concept
• Acceptance precedes change
• The pursuit of identity is a lifelong journey

Guest: Jason Sandmann

https://jasonsandmann.substack.com/

References

• Cheek, N. N., & Cheek, J. M. (2018). Aspects of identity: From the inner-outer metaphor to a tetrapartite model of the self. Self and Identity, 17(4), 467–482. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15298868.2017.1412347
• Côté, J. E. (2018). The enduring usefulness of Erikson's concept of identity. Identity: An International Journal of Theory and Research, 18(4), 251–264. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15283488.2018.1524328
• Gimmel, D. Quote by Japanese Proverb. Goodreads. https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/12270396-do-not-speak-bad-of-yourself-for-the-warrior-within-hears
• McLean, K. C., Syed, M., Pasupathi, M., Adler, J. M., Dunlop, W. L., Drustrup, D., et al. (2020). The empirical structure of narrative identity: The initial Big Three. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 119(4), 920–944. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30998044/
• Vignoles, V. L., Jaser, Z., Taylor, F., & Ntontis, E. (2021). Harnessing shared identities to mobilize resilient responses to collective threat. Political Psychology, 42(S1), 37–57. Supports the importance of social relationships and group belonging in identity formation. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8013210/

The episode explores the relationship between feelings and truth, highlighting the gap between feelings and reality, the distinction between feelings and truth, the role of emotional intelligence in decision making, the nature of feelings as recognition and intuition, and the unreliability of feelings as a standalone standard for truth.

Takeaways

• Feelings as Data
• Emotional Intelligence

Chapters

• 00:00 The Gap Between Feelings and Reality
• 06:43 Emotional Intelligence and Decision Making
• 12:40 The Unreliability of Feelings

References

• Bradberry, T., & Greaves, J. (2009). Emotional Intelligence 2.0. TalentSmart.
• Goodreads. (n.d.). A quote by Warren Buffett. Goodreads. https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/8956691-what-the-human-being-is-best-at-doing-is-interpreting
• Greenaway, K. H., Kalokerinos, E. K., & Williams, L. A. (2018). Context is everything (in emotion research). Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 12(6), e12393. https://compass.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/spc3.12393)Kassam
• K., Lerner, J. S., Kanesan, P., & Fauzan, N. (2019). MODELS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: A REVIEW. E-BANGI, Suppl.Special Issue 7, 16, 1-9. https://colby.idm.oclc.org/login?url=https://www.proquest.com/scholarly-journals/models-emotional-intelligence-review/docview/2396318735/se-2
• Li, Y., & Valdesolo, P. (2015). Emotion and decision making. Annual Review of Psychology, 66(1), 799–823. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010213-115043
• Pham, M. T. (2004). The logic of feeling. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 14(4), 360–369. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15327663jcp1404_5
• Solomon, R. C. (2007). True to our feelings: What our emotions are really telling us. Oxford University Press. https://tinyurl.com/5n8vh8ne
• Stephen, L. (2024, July 17). The space between stimulus and response - ignite. IGNITE Peak Performance. https://ignitepeakperformance.com/general/the-space-between-stimulus-and-response/

The conversation delves into the impact of lenses on perception, interpretation, and relationships. It explores the challenges of lens awareness and the need for understanding the impact of lenses on reality. The discussion also highlights the process of examining and shifting lenses, as well as the role of lenses in self-protection and relational misunderstandings.

Takeaways

• Lens shapes reality
• Understanding the impact of lenses
• Challenges of lens awareness

Chapters

• 00:00 Examining Lenses: Origin and Meaning

Guest: Christina Wong

https://www.yourjourneybacktoself.com/

References

Mair, N. (2022, February 6). The Psychological Lens. Medium. https://medium.com/@nickmair3/the-psychological-lens-5313b1bc8f18

Mifsud, R., & Sammut, G. (2023). Worldviews and the role of social values that underlie them. PLOS ONE, 18(7). https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0288451

Galinsky, A. S., Ku, G. D., & Wang, C. (2010). Perception through a perspective-taking lens: Differential effects on judgment and behavior. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 46(5), 792–798. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2010.04.001

Byom, L. J., & Mutlu, B. (2013). Theory of mind: Mechanisms, methods, and New Directions. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 7. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnhum.2013.00413

Lin, D. Y., Pronin, E., & Ross, L. (2002). The bias blind spot: Perceptions of bias in self versus others. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(3), 369–381. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167202286008

Cherry, K. (2026, January 8). Actor-Observer Bias in Social Psychology. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-the-actor-observer-bias-2794813?utm_source=chatgpt.com