Nobody's Coming to Save You: Life Without Our Village.This week Jill, Mati & Tahj get into the one thing nobody warns you about when you raise a family in the diaspora: doing it all without your village. From the aunties, grandmothers and church family who raised us, to FaceTime grandparents 17 hours away, marriages that have to become a two-person team, and the bittersweet pull of a home that feels further away every day. Zimbabwean 🇿🇼 African American 🇺🇸 Zambian 🇿🇲 , pull up a chair, it's giving group chat.━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━IN THIS EPISODE━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━- Why "the village" is about so much more than childcare, it's identity, belonging and autonomy- How raising kids far from family forces a marriage to become a real team ("nobody's coming to save you")- The romanticised village vs. the reality and the autonomy you trade for the help- Parenting gems: "big girl chats" and the mummy–daughter journal- Reframing the mental load as a team meeting, not a personal failure- The ache of FaceTime grandparenting across time zones━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━CHAPTERS━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━0:00 – We're back: Season 2 is here2:51 – Raising a preteen & the questions you're not ready for6:54 – Big girl chats & the mummy–daughter journal11:24 – Tahj's surprise for Reggie14:46 – 4 months off?! Long service leave vs America17:08 – Doing life without our village19:27 – Gogo & the village we grew up with25:38 – Why home still pulls at us27:20 – When it all falls on the two of you29:45 – Marriage back home vs the diaspora33:14 – The FaceTime grandparent struggle40:21 – "Ashy but on time": parenting & timing━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ABOUT THE SHOW━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━What Left the Group Chat is a podcast made by us, for us,three friends in Naarm (Melbourne) talking relationships, culture, motherhood, identity and everything in between, from a diaspora women-of-colour lens. New episodes once a week.━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━FOLLOW & LISTEN━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━▶ Subscribe on YouTube: @whatleftthegroupchat🎧 Spotify & Apple Podcasts: "What Left the Group Chat"📱 Instagram & TikTok: @whatleftthegroupchat🌐 http://whatleftthegroupchat.comIf this one hit home, tell us in the comments who your village is, and don't forget to like, subscribe and share with a friend who needs to hear it. 🤍#WhatLeftTheGroupChat #TheVillage #Diaspora #BlackWomenPodcast #Motherhood #Zimbabwean #Zambian #AfricanAmerican #Naarm #MelbournePodcast #Sisterhood #DiasporaDaughters

Our first season was a massive achievement, marked by engaging discussions and heartfelt connections. We initially envisioned our audience as women like us, navigating life and its challenges. However, the feedback revealed a much broader demographic, including listeners from various backgrounds who found resonance in our conversations. This unexpected outreach has been heartwarming and proves the power of shared experiences.The very essence of What Left the Group Chat is about fostering community. In today’s world, where connections can sometimes feel fleeting, having a space where we can celebrate our stories is crucial. We aim to uplift women who look like us, empowering them to share their narratives and connect across the globe.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Audience Connection07:22 Personal Growth and Family Connections12:00 Navigating Life's Challenges25:03 Travel Experiences and Family Dynamics38:11 Community Building and Cultural ConnectionsWebsite - https://www.whatleftthegroupchat.com/TikTok - h / whatleftthegroupchat Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/whatleftthegroupchat

In this final episode of season 1, Mati, Tahj and Jill explore the complexities of adult friendships, sharing personal anecdotes about friendship auditions, parenting, and the challenges of maintaining relationships. They discuss the importance of resilience, the dynamics of making new friends, and the emotional weight of friendship trauma. The dialogue emphasises the need for understanding and flexibility in relationships as life changes, and they reflect on their own experiences with friendship expectations and how they individually navigate friendship breakups.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Light Banter03:04 Audition Experience and Resilience06:08 Overwhelm and Life Events09:01 Friendship Dynamics in Adulthood11:50 Making New Friends as Adults14:57 Navigating Old Friendships18:02 The Role of the 'Mayor' in Friendships20:59 Friendship Expectations and Changes23:59 Handling Friendship Breakups26:56 Embracing Change in Relationships30:09 Conclusion and Reflections

In this episode, Jill takes Mati and Tahj into the into the concept of the mental load, particularly as it pertains to women of colour in Australia. They discuss the unique challenges faced by black women in predominantly white spaces, the invisible burdens of responsibility in parenting, and the cultural expectations that shape their experiences. The conversation highlights the importance of partnership in managing these responsibilities and the need to break generational patterns that perpetuate stress and over-functioning.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to the Group Chat

01:15 Understanding the Mental Load

04:16 The Experience of Black Women and the Mental Load

07:40 The Invisible Burden of Responsibility

09:58 Cultural Expectations and Parenting

12:54 The Impact of Western Society on Parenting

14:00 The Pressure of Representation

19:30 Cultural Expectations in Relationships

22:31 Breaking Generational Patterns

26:05 The Importance of Partnership in Parenting

30:01 Shifting Perspectives on Responsibilities

35:35 Conclusion and Future Discussions

In this conversation, Mati, Tahj & Jill discuss their experiences as women of colour living in Australia, focusing on the current climate of unrest related to race and anti immigration protests. They share personal feelings of heaviness and anger in response to anti-immigration rallies and reflect on their identities as proud migrants who have contributed positively to the country. The discussion also touches on the challenges of raising children in a society where they may face discrimination, and the importance of building a supportive community that fosters resilience and cultural identity.TakeawaysWe need to see more representation in media.The feeling of unrest is palpable in Australia.Processing emotions around race is essential.Proud migrants contribute significantly to society.Anti-immigration sentiments can be deeply offensive.Belonging is a crucial aspect of identity.Raising resilient children is a priority for parents.Community support is vital for navigating challenges.Conversations about race should be ongoing.Hope and resilience can emerge from difficult experiences.Chapters00:00 Introduction to the Community01:19 Feeling of Unrest in Australia03:03 Processing Emotions and Experiences06:21 Reflections on Race and Identity09:59 Confronting Anti-Immigration Sentiments12:46 Belonging and Cultural Identity16:00 Raising Resilient Children24:16 Building a Supportive Community

In this engaging conversation, Mati, Tahj and Jill share personal stories about how they met their partners, the cultural expectations surrounding marriage, and the adjustments that come with married life. The discussion highlights the journey of love, the reality of marriage, and the growth that comes from shared experiences. Ultimately, they reflect on the importance of being intentional in relationships and the beauty of love in all its forms.

Sound bites

"We just lived our lives!"

"It was an incredible high."

"We're in the thick of it."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Personal Updates

02:58 Sharing Highs and Lows

06:01 Travel Stories and Adventures

09:00 The Golf Dilemma

12:04 How We Met Our Partners

14:58 Navigating Relationships and Connections

24:42 Summer Love to Lifelong Commitment

27:15 Recognizing the One: Signs of True Love

30:27 Navigating Long-Term Relationships

33:11 Adjusting to Married Life: Surprises and Challenges

36:47 Cultural Expectations in Marriage

39:12 Communication Styles and Conflict Resolution

45:15 The Evolution of Love: Stages of Relationships

In this episode of 'What Left the Group Chat', Mati, Tahj and Jill discuss their personal experiences as Black women raising children in a predominantly white society. They share highs and lows from their week, touching on the challenges of parenting, particularly in relation to cultural identity and racial dynamics. The conversation delves into their pregnancy and birth experiences, childcare challenges, and the importance of addressing racial issues in schools. They emphasise the need for open dialogue and systemic change in education to better support children of colour.Chapters00:00 Introduction to What left the group chat and Its Purpose01:17 Highs, Lows, and Buffaloes: Personal Updates15:45 Raising Black Children in a Predominantly White Society16:09 Pregnancy Experiences: A Comparative Discussion24:04 Navigating Pregnancy Challenges27:32 Experiencing Loss and Support in Healthcare31:40 Childcare Experiences and Racial Awareness34:47 Schooling and Racial Identity40:31 Addressing Racial Issues in Education

In this engaging conversation, Mati, Tahj and Jill explore various themes surrounding beauty standards, personal journeys, and cultural identity. They share personal anecdotes about family, reality TV, and the impact of community on self-perception. The discussion delves into the evolution of beauty standards, the significance of hair in identity, and reflections on aging and body image. The ladies emphasise the importance of representation and the influence of cultural backgrounds on self-image, creating a rich dialogue.Chapters00:00 Introduction and Weekly Check-In03:02 Family Dynamics and Unexpected Changes05:55 Reality TV Obsession: Love Island Discussion09:01 Exploring Beauty Standards and Personal Journeys12:02 Cultural Influences on Beauty Perception15:03 Experiences of Bullying and Identity17:58 Finding Community and Acceptance21:02 Navigating Identity in Diverse Spaces24:10 The Power of Community and Heritage26:50 Embracing Femininity and Identity32:09 The Struggle with Self-Image36:22 Aging and Body Image44:51 The Relationship with Hair and Identity