Episode 211 with Tory Berry & Chele Morony

“People say DBT is for borderline personality disorder. I’m like, what are you talking about? DBT is for everyone. One of the most common refrains that we hear in the group is ‘Where has this been? I needed this in high school!’”

This episode combines two of my favorite topics: ADHD coaching and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)!

Tory and Chele are a mother-daughter duo from Southern California who have created something really special in the neurodivergent support space.

Tory is the founder of ADHD Works Now, and she is also one of our amazing ADHD coaches at Women & ADHD.

Tory was diagnosed with both ADHD and autism in adulthood, and she’s channeled her own lived experience into helping other neurodivergent adults through 1-on-1 coaching and specially adapted DBT groups.

Chele is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with over 35 years of experience. She is also Tory’s business partner, bringing a clinical perspective to their work together.

We talk about Tory’s adult diagnosis and how Chele missed her ADHD and autism in childhood, despite her own clinical training.

We also talk about the fundamentals of DBT, and how the focus on validation, acceptance, and practical skill development makes it particularly powerful for neurodivergent clients who've spent years asking, “What’s wrong with me?” And Tory & Chele share about their collaborative group approach and how they’re making DBT skills applicable to the neurodivergent experience.

Tory & Chele’s DBT groups fill up quickly. The June cohort is already full, but you can sign up at the link below for the next cohort waitlist.

Key topics discussed:

• Tori's journey from adult ADHD/autism diagnosis to becoming an ADHD coach
• The missed signs of ADHD in girls and women
• How DBT skills can be adapted for neurodivergent brains
• The importance of validation vs. invalidating environments
• Masking vs. authenticity — when and how to be "legible”
• The intersection of coaching and therapy
• Running neurodivergent-friendly DBT groups

Website: adhdworksnow.com

Links & Resources:

• womenandadhd.com/tory
• DBT skills group waitlist

- - - - -

Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

- - - - -

Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

- - - - -

Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy

- - - - -

Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

- - - - -

Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

- - - - -

If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

Twitter: @womenandadhd

Facebook: @womenandadhd

Episode 210 with Dani Donovan

“I either get 30 minutes worth of work done in 8 hours or 8 hours worth of work done in 30 minutes — those are the only two options.”

Dani is an ADHD content creator, speaker, and the celebrated author of “The Anti-Planner: How to Get Sh*t Done When You Don't Feel Like It.”

Dani became an overnight sensation when a flowchart she drew mapping out her winding, ADHD storytelling style went viral on Twitter. Since then, she has built a massive community by bringing radical vulnerability, humor, and data visualization to the neurodivergent experience. She’s spoken at major companies like Microsoft, Amazon, and Adobe, and she is the founder of The Anti-Boring Project.

We dive deep into misconceptions about ADHD, including being told you are “too smart to have ADHD.” Dani shares her story of growing up with teachers who dismissed her mother's ADHD inquiries because she was getting good grades.

We also explore the magic behind visual storytelling for ADHD brains, why traditional productivity systems tend to fail us, and how the “Anti-Planner” organizes strategies based on your current emotional resistance — such as feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unmotivated.

Plus, Dani shares some exclusive details about an exciting new app she is prototyping!

Key topics discussed:

• How teachers dismissed her ADHD symptoms because she was "too smart"
• The therapist who recognized Dani’s ADHD through her communication style
• Growing up questioning authority and fighting unfairness
• Why ADHD brains connect with infographics and memes
• How a workplace joke became a career-defining moment
• Finding people with matching scars and shared experiences
• The Anti-Planner origins: From business field guide to revolutionary productivity system
• The five categories of executive dysfunction (stuck, overwhelmed, unmotivated, disorganized, discouraged)
• Perfectionism vs. Experimentation: Permission to keep quitting and trying new approaches
• Exclusive preview of Dani’s upcoming ADHD productivity app

Website: anti-planner.com

Instagram: @danidonovan

Tiktok: @danidonovan

Links & Resources:

The Anti-Planner: How to Get Sh*t Done When You Don't Feel Like It

- - - - -

Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

- - - - -

Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

- - - - -

Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy

- - - - -

Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

- - - - -

Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

- - - - -

If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

Twitter: @womenandadhd

Facebook: @womenandadhd

Episode 209 with Jenna Free

“I think the biggest issue is with the current ADHD narrative. People are confusing ‘fight or flight’ and ADHD; they're putting it in a bundle and calling it ADHD. Then people believe, ‘Well, this is how hard it needs to be.’”

Jenna is a therapist living in Calgary, Alberta, who not only specializes in ADHD but also has ADHD herself.

Jenna was diagnosed with ADHD at 32 while in grad school with two young children – so yes, she gets the overwhelm. But instead of accepting the standard narrative that ADHD women are just destined to live in a constant state of frantic energy followed by crashes, she started asking a different question: What if the struggle isn't actually inevitable? What if what we're calling "ADHD symptoms" are actually signs of a nervous system stuck in chronic fight-or-flight?

In this episode, we'll dive into Jenna's journey, her insights on ADHD regulation, and how she helps others through her ADHD regulation groups and certification program. We also chat about her brand new book, “The Simple Guide to ADHD Regulation: The Secret to Finding Balance, Getting Things Done, and Enjoying Your Life.”

Key topics discussed:

• The difference between ADHD traits and fight-or-flight responses
• Internal vs. external regulation strategies
• Why overwhelm is actually a cognitive distortion and sign of dysregulation
• The role of belief work in nervous system regulation
• How regulation can actually increase productivity and capacity
• The power of group work for ADHD healing
• Challenging the narrative that ADHD struggle is inevitable

Website: jennafree.com

Instagram: @adhdwithjennafree

Links & Resources:

Jenna’s book: The Simple Guide to ADHD Regulation: The Secret to Finding Balance, Getting Things Done, and Enjoying Your Life

Jenna’s podcast: ADHD with Jenna Free

Dr. Anita Johnston's The Log

- - - - -

Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

- - - - -

Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

- - - - -

Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy

- - - - -

Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

- - - - -

Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

- - - - -

If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

Twitter: @womenandadhd

Facebook: @womenandadhd

Episode 208 with Alex Bellitter

“People can feel like, ‘I don’t think this is an internal thing I’m trying to work through. I feel like I’m trying to navigate my environment, and I don’t have the tools, education, and resources to do it.’”

Alex is the Senior Manager of Coaching at Shimmer, an ADHD community and coaching platform that’s redefining what support can look like for ADHD brains.

Alex does not have ADHD herself, but she’s spent years working with neurodivergent kids, adults, and now leading a team of over 50 ADHD coaches at Shimmer. She brings a background in coaching psychology, clinical psychology, and health and wellness to her work, and she’s passionate about delivering strengths‑based, evidence‑informed support that actually feels good to ADHDers.

In this conversation, we talk about:

• What coaching psychology is and why it’s such a powerful fit for ADHD
• The difference between therapy, coaching, and “healing” work, and how they can complement each other
• Why so many of us are misdiagnosed with depression first and how overwhelm, executive dysfunction, and chronic frustration can get mislabeled
• The ebb and flow of ADHD symptoms across the lifespan, hormones, menopause, grief, and “temporary neurodivergence”
• How Shimmer structures its coaching, body doubling, community, and AI tools to be genuinely ADHD‑friendly and shame‑free
• The promises and risks of AI for neurodivergent people — and what “good guardrails” actually look like

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re “struggling enough” to count, questioned what’s “normal,” or felt confused about where ADHD ends, and environment, hormones, and capitalism begin … this episode is for you.

Website: linkedin.com/in/abellitter

Instagram: @shimmer.care

Links & Resources:

Shimmer.care

Episode 191 with Christal Wang

- - - - -

Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

- - - - -

Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

- - - - -

Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy

- - - - -

Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

- - - - -

Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

- - - - -

If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

Twitter: @womenandadhd

Facebook: @womenandadhd

Episode 207 with Roberta Dombrowski

“Work is one of the only socially acceptable forms of addiction. We get rewarded for not having boundaries and for always taking on more and more things.”

Roberta is an executive coach and founder of Learn Mindfully, where she helps leaders and teams thrive from the inside out.

After rising quickly through leadership roles to become a VP in the tech world at age 29, Roberta realized her success was coming at a cost — she found herself burned out, anxious, and physically affected by the pressure to prove herself constantly. On the outside, she was the high‑performing executive. On the inside, she was white‑knuckling her way through burnout, complex trauma, and the isolation of often being the only woman or person of color in the room.

In this conversation, Roberta and I discuss:

• How her late ADHD diagnosis helped her finally make sense of her childhood and school experience
• The overlap between ADHD, trauma, and burnout, especially for high‑achieving women, mothers, and entrepreneurs
• What trauma‑informed leadership actually looks like day‑to‑day (hint: it’s not just more bubble baths)
• Why work is “one of the only socially acceptable forms of addiction” — and how to step out of that cycle
• How to start loosening your grip on control, micromanagement, and over‑functioning without letting everything fall apart

If you’ve ever felt like your “success” is built on overfunctioning, perfectionism, and people-pleasing — and you’re desperate to break up with burnout but not sure how — this episode is definitely for you.

Website: learnmindfully.co

Instagram: @learn_mindfully

Links & Resources:

In Her Words (Roberta’s podcast)

Free resource: Leadership Energy Audit

Free resource: Reclamation Journal

Strong Ground: The Lessons of Daring Leadership, the Tenacity of Paradox, and the Wisdom of the Human Spirit by Brené Brown

Trauma Stewardship: An Everyday Guide to Caring for Self While Caring for Others by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky with Connie Burk

- - - - -

Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

- - - - -

Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

- - - - -

Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy

- - - - -

Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

- - - - -

Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

- - - - -

If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

Twitter: @womenandadhd

Facebook: @womenandadhd

Episode 206 with Madeline Grace Matthews & Karla Pretorius

“I'm learning more and more how to be myself.”

Madeline is 23, and she was diagnosed with autism and a mild cognitive disability as a child. Originally from the U.S., she currently lives with her missionary family in Thailand. She is also the author of the recent book “Nineteen Letters to Myself: Guided Reflections and Prompts for Hope and Healing from a Neurodivergent Perspective.”

Madeline’s book started as a series of letters to her younger self — originally as a coping tool, and eventually as a way to make sense of her neurodivergence, as well as childhood trauma, big emotions, religious faith, and learning to see herself as “different, not less.”

Karla is a psychotherapist and PhD candidate who began working with Madeline in 2021 and helped her write and publish the book. In the first half of the episode, the three of us discuss the process of writing the book and the healing power of showing our younger selves kindness and acceptance.

In the second half of the episode, I sit down with Karla and hear a little more about her research on women and ADHD and the incredible work she’s doing in the neurodivergent community. Karla, who has ADHD herself, shares how she’s working to bridge academic research with lived experience.

If you’re the parent of a neurodivergent teen or if you’ve been diagnosed in adulthood and you’re on a journey of reparenting your inner child, or if you’ve ever felt like you were too much, not enough, or simply misunderstood — this episode is definitely for you.

Website: karlapretorius.com

Instagram: @therapy.neurodivergent

Links & Resources:

Nineteen Letters to Myself: Guided Reflections and Prompts for Hope and Healing from a Neurodivergent Perspective by Madeline Grace Mathews and Karla Pretorius

AIMS Global

- - - - -

Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

- - - - -

Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

- - - - -

Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy

- - - - -

Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

- - - - -

Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

- - - - -

If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

Twitter: @womenandadhd

Facebook: @womenandadhd

Episode 205 with Jen Fry.

“I like to tell people that I’m not nice. I’m kind, but I’m not nice. I think niceness is weaponized way too much against people.”

Jen is an educator, speaker, and author of the book “I Said No: How to Have Boundaries and Backbone While Not Being a Jerk.”

Saying no is supposed to be simple — but for so many women with ADHD, it feels loaded with guilt, overthinking, and the fear of disappointing everyone around you.

Jen is a former college volleyball coach with a PhD in sports geography, and she now works at the intersection of conflict, culture, and sport, speaking to teams and organizations around the country.

We talk about the ADHD tendency to be a people-pleaser, and why Jen proudly says she’s kind, not nice. In this conversation, we talk about ADHD, hyperfocus, time blindness, imposter syndrome, and why so many high-achieving women end up chronically overcommitted, burnt out, and resentful.

We also explore what it really takes to say no — not just to other people, but to our own overexcited ADHD brains, our endless ideas, and our impulse to fill every spare moment.

If you’ve ever struggled with boundaries, overcommitting, or worrying that saying no makes you “difficult,” this episode is going to hit very close to home.

Website: jenfrytalks.com

Instagram: @jenfrytalks

Links & Resources:

I Said No: How to Have Boundaries and Backbone While Not Being a Jerk by Dr. Jen Fry

The Power of Likeability (Forbes)

- - - - -

Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

- - - - -

Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

- - - - -

Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy

- - - - -

Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

- - - - -

Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

- - - - -

If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

Twitter: @womenandadhd

Facebook: @womenandadhd

Episode 204 with Rae Jacobson.

“There is a difference between traits and impairment. If we dilute the idea of ADHD into something that just seems familiar, we risk shutting out the people who really need help.”

Rae is a journalist, an ADHD and learning disorders expert, and the Lead of Insight at Understood, where she also hosts the podcast Hyperfocus. Rae has spent over 20 years digging into the stories and science of neurodivergence. She’s a former senior editor at the Child Mind Institute, and her work has appeared in New York Magazine, the Daily Beast, Rolling Stone, Parenting, American Girl, and more.

Rae and I talk about her very winding path to an ADHD diagnosis: growing up as the “smart kid who did terribly at school,” getting diagnosed with LD-NOS, dyscalculia, and dysgraphia, and then finally, in her early 20s, realizing she has ADHD. Rae shares the life-changing experience of attending Landmark College — a school specifically for students with ADHD and learning disabilities.

We also wrestle with the current ADHD discourse: the difference between relatable traits and true impairment, what happens when “everyone has ADHD,” and why that can both broaden awareness and quietly shut people out of care. We talk about internalized ableism, the ongoing cycles of skepticism (“quit your whining”) and backlash online, and the need for voices that pair lived experience with journalistic fact-checking.

And of course, we talk about Hyperfocus, Rae’s podcast at Understood that zeroes in on what fascinates us most about ADHD, mental health, and learning.

Website: Understood.org

Instagram: @understoodorg

Links & Resources:

The Berkeley Girls with ADHD Longitudinal Study (S. Hinshaw)

- - - - -

Episode edited by E Podcast Productions

Find the transcript of this episode at www.womenandadhd.com/transcripts

- - - - -

Women & ADHD coaching: www.womenandadhd.com/coaching

- - - - -

Work 1-on-1 with Katy: www.womenandadhd.com/katy

- - - - -

Order the “Hey, it’s ADHD!” course: www.womenandadhd.com/adhdcourse

- - - - -

Did you love this episode? Click here to pledge a one-time donation to the podcast!

- - - - -

If you are a woman who was diagnosed with ADHD and you’d like to apply to be a guest on this podcast, visit womenandadhd.com/podcastguest.

Instagram: @womenandadhdpodcast

Tiktok: @womenandadhdpodcast

Twitter: @womenandadhd

Facebook: @womenandadhd