This story began the way so many of my Clarence Mills adventures do—innocently.

My wife Jane bought herself an SUV, named it Pearl, and decided it would remain in showroom condition every single day… despite living where the roads specialize in dirt, dust, muck, and mud for most of the year.

Normally, washing the car is my job. Pearl is super-sized, and I’m built for it. Let’s just say I’m physically compatible with—and well acquainted with—the ins and outs of an automated eight-bay car wash.

But then, as luck would have it, I sprained my wrist arguing with my clarinet and found myself officially excused from all car-washing duties.

That’s when Jane decided she could handle it herself—fueled, no doubt, by love, confidence, and a lifelong belief that “guy jobs” are wildly exaggerated.

What could possibly go wrong?

In this tale from Clarence Mills, good intentions meet real-world conditions, and a perfectly reasonable plan begins to gather… consequences.

If you’ve ever underestimated a simple task…
If you’ve ever stepped confidently into unfamiliar territory…
If you’ve ever discovered that mud has opinions…

You may feel very much at home here.

I’ll be right here Thursday morning with another Clarence Mills tale. And if you’d like the next one to arrive without any effort at all, you’re always welcome to follow along.