The Business Behind the Trauma: Self-Sabotage, People-Pleasing, and the Entrepreneur's Traitor Within with Nikki Heyder.

In this episode of Your Traitor Within, Jessica Anne Pressler sits down with psychotherapist, author, and business mentor Nikki Heyder for a powerful conversation about the psychological patterns that quietly shape our careers, businesses, relationships, and sense of self-worth.

Drawing from her unique background in both psychotherapy and business, Nikki explores the hidden reasons so many entrepreneurs struggle to execute even when they know exactly what they need to do. Together, Jessica and Nikki discuss self-sabotage, people-pleasing, perfectionism, hyper-independence, fear of visibility, imposter syndrome, and the internal barriers that often prevent people from fully stepping into their potential.

Nikki shares her own Traitor Within story, including the childhood experiences that shaped her tendency toward people-pleasing and how those patterns followed her into romantic relationships, business decisions, burnout, over-delivering, undercharging, and eventually the collapse of a business she spent years building.

This conversation explores the intersection of trauma, entrepreneurship, self-worth, and healing. Jessica and Nikki discuss why strategy alone is rarely enough, how nervous system patterns influence success, the importance of self-compassion, and why curiosity may be one of the most powerful tools available for personal growth.

If you've ever known what you needed to do but found yourself unable to do it, this episode offers insight, understanding, and hope.

About Nikki Heyder:

Nikki Heyder is a psychotherapist, published author, and business mentor with more than 13 years of entrepreneurial experience. Holding both a Bachelor's Degree in Business and Organisational Behaviour and a Master's Degree in Psychotherapy, Nikki combines clinical psychological insight with practical business strategy.

She specializes in helping heart-led entrepreneurs and business owners move beyond self-sabotage, burnout, perfectionism, visibility fears, and internal limitations by addressing the psychological patterns and nervous system responses that influence growth. Her work supports clients in building businesses that feel as good on the inside as they look on the outside.

Connect with Nikki:

Website:
https://www.the-soul-institute.com

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/nikki.heyder

The Foundation Lab:
https://www.the-soul-institute.com/the-foundation-lab

Becoming Mastermind:
https://www.the-soul-institute.com/becoming

Regulate & Receive:
https://www.the-soul-institute.com/regulate-receive

Listen to Your Traitor Within:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-traitor-within/id1797804404

Watch on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@JessicaAnnePressler

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In this episode of Your Traitor Within, Jessica Anne Pressler sits down with Caroline Strawson, award-winning nervous system expert, Hay House author, speaker, and survivor of domestic abuse, coercive control, homelessness, and profound personal adversity. Caroline shares the deeply personal journey that led her from PTSD, anxiety, panic attacks, debt, and the loss of her family home to becoming one of the leading voices in nervous system healing and trauma recovery today.

Together, Jessica and Caroline explore the connection between childhood wounds, narcissistic abuse, codependency, trauma responses, and the nervous system. They discuss functional freeze, emotional regulation, Internal Family Systems, somatic healing, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and the ways many survivors unknowingly spend years trapped in survival mode while appearing functional from the outside.

Caroline shares how the death of her mother, the collapse of her marriage, and the realization that traditional approaches to healing were not fully addressing her trauma led her to discover the missing piece: the nervous system. She explains why awareness alone is often not enough, how unresolved trauma becomes stored in the body, and why true healing requires more than simply understanding what happened.

This powerful conversation also explores intergenerational trauma, parenting, self-worth, shame, boundaries, grief, and the process of moving from being a “human doing” to a “human being.” Caroline offers practical insight into why survivors often remain stuck, why time alone does not heal trauma, and how building nervous system capacity creates lasting change.

If you have ever wondered why you continue to react in ways you understand intellectually but cannot seem to change emotionally, this episode is for you.

About Caroline Strawson:

Caroline Strawson is an award-winning nervous system expert, trauma educator, speaker, Hay House author, and survivor of domestic abuse and coercive control. Through her work she helps people understand the connection between trauma, the nervous system, physical health, and emotional wellbeing. Caroline is the founder of multiple trauma-informed businesses and has helped thousands of people move from survival into safety, self-trust, and resilience.

Connect with Caroline Strawson:

Website:
https://carolinestrawson.com/

Instagram:
@carolinestrawson

Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/carolinestrawson/

YouTube:
@novisiblebruises

Listen to Your Traitor Within:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-traitor-within/id1797804404

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In this episode of Your Traitor Within, Jessica Anne Pressler sits down with Dr. Debra Kessler, a licensed clinical psychologist, child neurodiversity specialist, and former pediatric nurse with more than 20 years of experience helping families better understand the emotional, neurological, and developmental needs of children. Together, they explore how the “Traitor Within” begins forming in childhood through messaging, modeling, attachment wounds, and family systems, and how those early survival strategies later shape adult relationships, identity, self-worth, and emotional regulation.

Jessica and Dr. Kessler discuss intergenerational trauma, nervous system regulation, neurodiversity, emotional attunement, parenting dynamics, and the ways children unconsciously shapeshift in order to feel safe, accepted, and loved. They also explore the importance of helping parents understand their own emotional triggers and attachment patterns so they can stop passing unresolved wounds onto future generations. Dr. Kessler shares how behavior is often the final expression of deeper unmet needs, regulation struggles, or sensory and emotional mismatches within the family system, and why compassion and curiosity are more effective than shame or punishment.

The conversation also dives into the experience of growing up feeling “different,” how social systems often create internalized shame around learning differences and self-expression, and how children develop protective personas to survive emotionally unsafe environments. Together, Jessica and Dr. Kessler unpack the connection between the Traitor Within, false identities, emotional masking, and the lifelong process of learning how to safely become yourself again.

About Dr. Debra Kessler:
Dr. Debra Kessler is a licensed clinical psychologist and child neurodiversity specialist with more than 20 years of experience helping families move from confusion and frustration to connection and confidence. With a background in pediatric nursing, pediatrics, and clinical psychology, she provides a holistic approach to understanding children’s unique neurological, emotional, and developmental profiles while helping parents build healthier, more attuned family systems.

Connect with Dr. Debra Kessler:
Instagram: @dr.dtkessler
Substack: @drdebrakessler
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debrakessler-psychologist/
Email: drdebrakessler@gmail.com

Listen to Your Traitor Within:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-traitor-within/id1797804404

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In this episode of Your Traitor Within, Jessica Anne Pressler sits down with filmmaker Ali Schmahl and actress/producer Stefanie Schmahl to discuss their psychological drama I Love You My Narcissist, a film exploring the devastating emotional impact of narcissistic relationships and the patterns that keep people trapped inside them. Through fictional storytelling grounded in real psychological dynamics, the film follows two survivors navigating manipulation, trauma bonding, emotional confusion, and the long process of reclaiming themselves.

Jessica, Ali, and Stefanie discuss the importance of bringing narcissistic abuse “out of the darkness,” how film can help people recognize patterns they may not yet have language for, and why emotionally immersive storytelling can sometimes educate more powerfully than direct instruction. The conversation also explores narcissistic family systems, emotional conditioning, self-abandonment, and the role of the Traitor Within in keeping survivors stuck in painful cycles.

About Ali Schmahl:
Ali Schmahl is a Berlin-based filmmaker, director, writer, and producer known for socially conscious and character-driven films. His work has screened at more than 80 international film festivals and received over 45 awards. His debut documentary Privileg explored gender identity and the challenges faced by the transgender community, and his latest feature I Love You My Narcissist combines psychological depth with cinematic storytelling to examine narcissistic abuse and its impact on survivors.

About Stefanie Schmahl:
Stefanie Schmahl studied acting at the renowned William Esper Studio in New York City before returning to Germany to pursue work as an actor and producer. Her short film Anniversary screened at over 20 film festivals and earned multiple awards, including six Best Actress honors. Through I Love You My Narcissist, she continues exploring emotionally complex storytelling centered around trauma, relationships, and healing.

Where to Find Them:
Instagram: @ilymn.film

Watch I Love You My Narcissist:
Use Jessica Anne Pressler’s exclusive link below for 15% off streaming access to the film:
https://stream.alefcinestream.com/buy/i-love-you-my-narcissist?code=jessicap1

Listen to Your Traitor Within:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-traitor-within/id1797804404

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In this episode of Your Traitor Within, Jessica Anne Pressler sits down with Erika Fracassa, creator of Delusional to Discerning, to explore the confusion, cognitive dissonance, and emotional chaos that often exist inside narcissistic relationships. After spending 15 years in a relationship that left her questioning her own reality, Erika now helps others reconnect with their intuition and rebuild self-trust through education, pattern recognition, and radical honesty.

Together, Jessica and Erika discuss trauma bonds, narcissistic supply, gaslighting, self-abandonment, and the role of the Traitor Within in keeping people stuck in unhealthy dynamics. They also explore the grief that comes with radical acceptance, why healing is not linear, and how rebuilding self-trust becomes the foundation for lasting change.

This conversation is deeply personal, educational, and validating for anyone who has ever felt confused inside a relationship that slowly disconnected them from themselves.

About Erika Fracassa:
Erika Fracassa is the creator of Delusional to Discerning, a platform dedicated to helping people make sense of confusing relationship dynamics and reconnect with their own clarity. Through her content, coaching, and growing online community, Erika helps others move from confusion to discernment by breaking down patterns people can finally recognize and trust.

Where to Find Erika Fracassa:
Instagram: @delusionaltodiscerning

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In this episode of Your Traitor Within, Jessica Anne Pressler sits down with therapist, speaker, and author Amy Watkins to explore how childhood conditioning shapes the way we move through relationships, identity, and self-worth. Amy shares her deeply personal story of growing up in a high-control religious environment, surviving sexual abuse, and learning how the coping mechanisms that once kept her safe became the “Traitor Within” patterns that followed her into adulthood. Together, Jessica and Amy discuss trauma bonding, people-pleasing, religious shame, dissociation, narcissistic family systems, and the painful but transformative process of finally choosing yourself. They also explore what healing actually feels like—not just intellectually understanding your patterns, but experiencing safety in the body for the first time.

About Amy Watkins:Amy Watkins, LPC, is a therapist, speaker, and author helping people uncover childhood patterns, break toxic cycles, and reconnect with their authentic selves. Her upcoming memoir Performing Normal is set for release in August. She is also the creator of the Scapegoat Reset coaching program.

Where to Find Amy Watkins:Instagram: @gods.favorite.problemWebsite: https://scapegoatreset.com/

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In this episode of Your Traitor Within, Jessica Anne Pressler sits down with Victoria Lynn PonTell, speaker, mentor, and creator of the 7 Keys to Unlocking Your Radiant Beauty. Together, they explore the concept of the Traitor Within and how patterns like self-doubt, perfectionism, people-pleasing, and inner criticism keep women disconnected from their true selves. Victoria shares her personal journey of overcoming these patterns and how she now helps others reclaim their confidence and self-worth. This conversation focuses on emotional resilience, mindset shifts, and the process of moving from self-betrayal to self-trust—highlighting how true transformation begins when you stop abandoning yourself and start choosing your own truth.

About Victoria Lynn PonTell:
Victoria Lynn PonTell is a speaker, mentor, and creator of the 7 Keys to Unlocking Your Radiant Beauty. Her work focuses on helping women overcome self-sabotage, build confidence, and reconnect with their authentic sense of self through practical tools and mindset transformation.

The Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0F22MSQBN

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyuRk0BMf-A

Website: https://victorialynnpontell.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/victorialynnpontell-3a9400376/

Instagram: @victorialynnpontell

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In this episode of Your Traitor Within, Jessica Anne Pressler sits down with Carissa Brockman, Canadian Certified Counsellor and trauma-trained somatic therapist, to explore the deeper psychological and nervous system patterns behind trauma bonds and narcissistic relationships. Carissa shares her personal story of being in an abusive relationship while studying to become a therapist, and how cognitive dissonance, early belief systems, and the nervous system keep people stuck even when they “know” something is wrong. Together, they unpack how the Traitor Within forms, why survivors stay, and why leaving is only the beginning of the healing process. The conversation also dives into attraction patterns, self-abandonment, and how to rebuild a sense of self, safety, and identity after abuse.

About Carissa Brockman:
Carissa Brockman is a Canadian Certified Counsellor, trauma-trained somatic therapist, and specialist in narcissistic abuse recovery and complex PTSD. Her work is deeply informed by her own lived experience, and she now helps others reclaim their reality and rewire their nervous systems for healthy love.

Where to Find Carissa Brockman:
Website: www.carissabrockman.com

Instagram / TikTok / YouTube: @soulfully_embodied

Masterclass Bundle:
https://carissa-brockman-0276.mykajabi.com/masterclass-bundle

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