Dating apps aren't the problem. The way we're using them might be.

In this episode of The Realistic Romantic, Drew explores why modern dating feels so exhausting and how dating apps may be turning us into HR recruiters instead of romantics.

We talk about swipe fatigue, the paradox of choice, AI matchmaking, and why chemistry can never be predicted from a profile.

If every date feels like a job interview, this episode is for you!

What We Cover

• Why dating apps became the default way people meet

• How endless options create a "rejection mindset"

• The hidden downside of swipe culture

• Why more choice often leads to less satisfaction

• The myth of "perfect on paper"

• Why attraction happens through interaction, not algorithms

• The HR Dating Trap and how it's sabotaging connection

Sources

AI Matchmaking & The Future of Dating Apps: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/11/03/technology/ai-dating-apps.html

How Online Dating Became the Most Common Way Couples Meet: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6731751/

The Rejection Mindset in Online Dating: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1948550619866189

The Experiences of U.S. Online Daters: https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2023/02/02/the-experiences-of-u-s-online-daters/

Maximizers vs. Satisficers Research: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12416921/

Choice Overload Research Review: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1069031X211073821

Online Dating and Relationship Science Review: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26173279/

The Science of Romantic Chemistry: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2023/feb/12/the-science-of-romantic-chemistry-and-those-not-so-obvious-red-flags

Have a dating dilemma, situationship story, or question for Dear Drew?

Email: heyrealisticromantic@gmail.com

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Community Question

What's one dating requirement you thought mattered, but became way less important after you met someone?

Send me your answer. I read more of these than you think.