In this episode of The Internal Shift Show, Debbie Longo speaks with Zander Sprague about the devastating loss of his sister Lucy, who was murdered in 1996, and the emotional transformation that followed.

What began as overwhelming grief, depression, confusion, and emotional isolation eventually became a turning point that reshaped Zander’s life and direction. He openly shares the reality of sibling loss, the loneliness that often comes with unacknowledged grief, and the emotional impact of feeling invisible while others focused mainly on how his parents were coping.

Zander explains how difficult the early stages of grief were and how he became trapped in the cycle of asking “why did this happen?” repeatedly, searching for answers that would never fully come. One of the biggest internal shifts in his healing process came when he accepted that he would never truly know why the tragedy happened. Letting go of that question allowed him to stop circling emotionally and begin focusing on healing, rebuilding, and creating meaning from the experience.

He also discusses the importance of exercise, therapy, support systems, and open conversations during grief recovery. Over time, Zander realized there were very few resources specifically focused on sibling loss. Instead of remaining silent, he chose to write about his experiences to help others who felt alone in their grief. That decision eventually led him to become an advocate, speaker, author, and thought leader focused on sibling grief and emotional healing.

Today, Zander works to bring awareness to the emotional reality of sibling loss and the importance of acknowledging grief rather than minimizing it. Through his writing and advocacy work, he helps people understand that healing does not mean forgetting—it means learning how to carry the loss while continuing to move forward with purpose and meaning.

Contact Debbie Longo, Transformational Coach:

Website: https://lifeinbloomny.net

Email: debbie@lifeinbloomny.net

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debbie-longo-life-in-bloom-ny/

Contact Zander Sprague:

Website: ZanderSprague.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/epic_begins/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@epicbegins

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ZanderSprague/

Epic Begins With 1 Step Forward Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/EPIC-Begins-Step-Forward-Achieve/dp/097950306X/ref=sr_1_1

Making Lemonade: Choosing A Positive Pathway After Losing Your Sibling Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/MAKING-LEMONADE-Choosing-Positive-Pathway/dp/0979503019/ref=sr_1_1

Why Don’t They Cry?: Understanding Your Living Child’s Grief Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Why-Dont-They-Cry-Understanding/dp/0979503043/ref=sr_1_1