Some people survive bullying.

Some people survive hiding who they are.

Some people survive both.

In this episode of After The Fall Show, I’m joined by Dom — someone I’ve personally worked with — for one of the rawest and most honest conversations we’ve had on the show so far.

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussion around suicide attempts, bullying, sexuality, sexual assault, depression, and mental health struggles. Please listen with care. If you are struggling, please reach out to someone you trust or contact a support service such as Samaritans in the UK on 116 123.

From being bullied as a child, through confusion around sexuality, isolation, suicide attempts, pressure, identity, and the fear of disappointing the people around him, Dom shares the reality of what it felt like trying to survive while carrying everything alone.

This is not a polished conversation.

It’s a human one.

We talk about growing up feeling different, the emotional weight of hiding parts of yourself, the pressure of expectations, and how silence slowly becomes unbearable when you carry too much for too long.

Dom also speaks openly about his suicide attempts, the moment his family finally realised how serious things had become, and how talking — whether to family, friends, strangers, or services like Samaritans — became one of the biggest turning points in his life.

But this episode is also about rebuilding.

About finding identity, friendship, rugby, community, love, and learning that healing doesn’t happen instantly — it happens gradually, through connection, honesty, and allowing yourself to finally be seen.

What we cover:

• Growing up bullied from nursery through school
• Moving schools and still feeling isolated
• Realising he may not be straight
• The pressure of family expectations
• Using work and business as emotional escape
• Suicide attempts and emotional collapse
• The fear of speaking honestly to loved ones
• Coming out to parents and family
• Relationships, self-acceptance, and rebuilding identity
• Rugby, friendship, and finding community
• Toxic experiences and staying safe
• Why strangers sometimes become lifelines
• The importance of support services like Samaritans
• Why “it’s okay to talk” may save someone’s life

Chapters:

00:00 – Introduction
00:39 – Dom’s Early Life & Bullying
02:00 – Moving Schools & Starting Again
03:30 – Sexuality & Family Pressure
05:45 – Suicide Attempts & Emotional Collapse
07:11 – Relationships & Opening Up
09:02 – Coming Out to Family
11:30 – Suicidal Thoughts & Coping Mechanisms
14:15 – Night Walks & Honest Conversations
15:53 – Beginning to Rebuild
17:37 – Calling Samaritans
18:27 – Self-Acceptance & Identity
20:00 – Finding Community Through Rugby
21:15 – Toxic Experiences & Staying Safe
22:50 – Rejoining West Country Wasps
25:20 – Advice for Others Exploring Identity
27:24 – The Power of Human Connection
30:05 – “It’s Okay to Talk”
31:41 – Final Reflections

Guest:

Dom is a rugby player, creative professional, and survivor of bullying, suicidal thoughts, and identity struggles. In this episode, he shares his journey through sexuality, pressure, self-acceptance, and rebuilding his life through honesty, community, and conversation.

Final thought:

Sometimes the heaviest thing a person carries…
is silence.

And sometimes the bravest thing they can do…
is finally speak.

Not all battles end when you’re told they will.

In this episode of After The Fall Show, I’m joined by Terry Tucker — a former police officer, SWAT hostage negotiator, and coach who has spent the last 14 years living with a rare and aggressive form of cancer he was originally told would take his life within two years.

This is more than a story of survival.

It’s a conversation about mindset, resilience, identity, and what it really takes to keep moving forward when life gives you a timeline you refuse to accept.

From high-pressure hostage negotiations to facing his own mortality, Terry shares what he’s learned about fear, purpose, pain, and the power of choosing how you respond — even when everything feels out of your control.

We talk about loss, faith, family, and the reality of living through treatments, amputations, and uncertainty — while still finding a reason to keep going.

This is raw, honest, and deeply human.

• Life before diagnosis — career, purpose, and pressure
• Working as a SWAT hostage negotiator
• The moment of being told “you have two years to live”
• Facing fear, anger, and acceptance
• How mindset shapes survival
• The role of family and purpose in recovery
• Living through cancer for 14+ years
• Amputation, treatment, and resilience
• Why having something to look forward to matters
• The difference between success and significance
• The truth about pain, growth, and mental strength

00:00 – Introduction
Meeting Terry and setting the tone

01:00 – Early Life and Career
Basketball, Wendy’s, and caring for family

03:00 – Becoming a Police Officer & SWAT Negotiator
High-pressure environments and helping people in crisis

05:30 – Understanding People in Crisis
Empathy, communication, and trust

08:00 – Hospital Work and Life Lessons
Compassion, purpose, and giving vs taking

10:30 – The Mindset Shift
Why life is about what you give, not what you get

12:00 – Cancer Diagnosis
The moment everything changed

15:00 – Facing a Death Sentence
Processing fear, anger, and grief

18:00 – Choosing to Fight Back
Turning a death sentence into a life mission

20:30 – The Power of Purpose
Why having something to look forward to matters

23:00 – Mental Resilience in Action
Small steps, big survival

26:00 – 14 Years Living with Cancer
Treatments, setbacks, and survival

29:00 – Amputation and Recovery
Adapting to life-changing circumstances

32:00 – Breakthrough Treatments
Clinical trials and new hope

34:30 – Writing Books and Leaving a Legacy
Success vs significance

36:30 – The Four Truths
Mindset, pain, purpose, and perseverance

38:30 – Final Message
What Terry would pass on to the world

Terry Tucker is a former police officer, SWAT hostage negotiator, coach, and author of Sustainable Excellence and Four Truths and a Lie. After being given just two years to live, he has now spent over 14 years navigating life with a rare form of cancer while helping others find purpose, resilience, and meaning.

Life will break you.

But what you become after that…
is up to you.

Not all support looks like what you think it does.

In this episode of After The Fall: After Dark, I sit down with Paul Reeve, CEO of Cornwall Mind, for a grounded, honest conversation about what mental health recovery actually looks like — beyond labels, beyond quick fixes, and beyond the idea that someone else can “fix” you.

This isn’t theory.

This is how it really works.

From Paul’s own journey through burnout and rebuilding, to leading one of the most important mental health organisations in the region, we explore what support truly means — and why recovery is something you have to take ownership of, even when you’re being helped.

We break down how Mind operates, the difference between national and local services, and the reality behind funding, access, and expectations.

More importantly, we talk about people.

The human side of support.
The misconceptions that stop people reaching out.
And the simple truths that actually make a difference.

If you’ve ever felt unsure about asking for help — or expected someone else to fix things for you — this episode will shift your perspective and help remove the uncertainty about getting support from this wonderful organisation and those like it.

What we cover:

• What mental health “recovery” really means
• Why support doesn’t mean being fixed
• The role of self-agency in getting better
• How organisations like Mind actually operate
• The biggest misconceptions about mental health services
• Why community, connection, and activity matter
• The reality of funding and service limitations
• Why early support for children is critical

00:00 – Introduction
After Dark format and meeting Paul Reeve

01:00 – Paul’s Personal Journey
From struggling himself to entering mental health work

03:30 – Frontline Work and Burnout
Compassion fatigue and stepping into leadership

05:30 – Understanding “Mind”
National vs local Mind and how the system works

08:30 – What Recovery Actually Means
Why mental health isn’t “fixed vs broken”

10:30 – Ownership and Self-Agency
Why no one can do the work for you

12:30 – Group-Based Support
Why activity-led environments work better than expected

15:00 – One-to-One Support
Coaching models and building independence

17:00 – Misconceptions About Services
Why people expect to be “fixed”

20:00 – Funding and Limitations
The reality behind what services can provide

21:30 – Meaningful Impact Moments
What real success looks like inside the service

25:00 – If Funding Was Unlimited
Why investing in children matters most

26:30 – The Reading Room
A safe space for connection, community, and conversation

30:30 – Final Message: Be Kinder
A simple principle that changes everything

Paul Reeve is the CEO of Cornwall Mind, part of the wider Mind network supporting mental health across the UK. His work focuses on community-based recovery, self-agency, and building support systems that empower people to move forward.