Some people survive bullying.

Some people survive hiding who they are.

Some people survive both.

In this episode of After The Fall Show, I’m joined by Dom — someone I’ve personally worked with — for one of the rawest and most honest conversations we’ve had on the show so far.

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode contains discussion around suicide attempts, bullying, sexuality, sexual assault, depression, and mental health struggles. Please listen with care. If you are struggling, please reach out to someone you trust or contact a support service such as Samaritans in the UK on 116 123.

From being bullied as a child, through confusion around sexuality, isolation, suicide attempts, pressure, identity, and the fear of disappointing the people around him, Dom shares the reality of what it felt like trying to survive while carrying everything alone.

This is not a polished conversation.

It’s a human one.

We talk about growing up feeling different, the emotional weight of hiding parts of yourself, the pressure of expectations, and how silence slowly becomes unbearable when you carry too much for too long.

Dom also speaks openly about his suicide attempts, the moment his family finally realised how serious things had become, and how talking — whether to family, friends, strangers, or services like Samaritans — became one of the biggest turning points in his life.

But this episode is also about rebuilding.

About finding identity, friendship, rugby, community, love, and learning that healing doesn’t happen instantly — it happens gradually, through connection, honesty, and allowing yourself to finally be seen.

What we cover:

• Growing up bullied from nursery through school
• Moving schools and still feeling isolated
• Realising he may not be straight
• The pressure of family expectations
• Using work and business as emotional escape
• Suicide attempts and emotional collapse
• The fear of speaking honestly to loved ones
• Coming out to parents and family
• Relationships, self-acceptance, and rebuilding identity
• Rugby, friendship, and finding community
• Toxic experiences and staying safe
• Why strangers sometimes become lifelines
• The importance of support services like Samaritans
• Why “it’s okay to talk” may save someone’s life

Chapters:

00:00 – Introduction
00:39 – Dom’s Early Life & Bullying
02:00 – Moving Schools & Starting Again
03:30 – Sexuality & Family Pressure
05:45 – Suicide Attempts & Emotional Collapse
07:11 – Relationships & Opening Up
09:02 – Coming Out to Family
11:30 – Suicidal Thoughts & Coping Mechanisms
14:15 – Night Walks & Honest Conversations
15:53 – Beginning to Rebuild
17:37 – Calling Samaritans
18:27 – Self-Acceptance & Identity
20:00 – Finding Community Through Rugby
21:15 – Toxic Experiences & Staying Safe
22:50 – Rejoining West Country Wasps
25:20 – Advice for Others Exploring Identity
27:24 – The Power of Human Connection
30:05 – “It’s Okay to Talk”
31:41 – Final Reflections

Guest:

Dom is a rugby player, creative professional, and survivor of bullying, suicidal thoughts, and identity struggles. In this episode, he shares his journey through sexuality, pressure, self-acceptance, and rebuilding his life through honesty, community, and conversation.

Final thought:

Sometimes the heaviest thing a person carries…
is silence.

And sometimes the bravest thing they can do…
is finally speak.

Not all battles end when you’re told they will.

In this episode of After The Fall Show, I’m joined by Terry Tucker — a former police officer, SWAT hostage negotiator, and coach who has spent the last 14 years living with a rare and aggressive form of cancer he was originally told would take his life within two years.

This is more than a story of survival.

It’s a conversation about mindset, resilience, identity, and what it really takes to keep moving forward when life gives you a timeline you refuse to accept.

From high-pressure hostage negotiations to facing his own mortality, Terry shares what he’s learned about fear, purpose, pain, and the power of choosing how you respond — even when everything feels out of your control.

We talk about loss, faith, family, and the reality of living through treatments, amputations, and uncertainty — while still finding a reason to keep going.

This is raw, honest, and deeply human.

• Life before diagnosis — career, purpose, and pressure
• Working as a SWAT hostage negotiator
• The moment of being told “you have two years to live”
• Facing fear, anger, and acceptance
• How mindset shapes survival
• The role of family and purpose in recovery
• Living through cancer for 14+ years
• Amputation, treatment, and resilience
• Why having something to look forward to matters
• The difference between success and significance
• The truth about pain, growth, and mental strength

00:00 – Introduction
Meeting Terry and setting the tone

01:00 – Early Life and Career
Basketball, Wendy’s, and caring for family

03:00 – Becoming a Police Officer & SWAT Negotiator
High-pressure environments and helping people in crisis

05:30 – Understanding People in Crisis
Empathy, communication, and trust

08:00 – Hospital Work and Life Lessons
Compassion, purpose, and giving vs taking

10:30 – The Mindset Shift
Why life is about what you give, not what you get

12:00 – Cancer Diagnosis
The moment everything changed

15:00 – Facing a Death Sentence
Processing fear, anger, and grief

18:00 – Choosing to Fight Back
Turning a death sentence into a life mission

20:30 – The Power of Purpose
Why having something to look forward to matters

23:00 – Mental Resilience in Action
Small steps, big survival

26:00 – 14 Years Living with Cancer
Treatments, setbacks, and survival

29:00 – Amputation and Recovery
Adapting to life-changing circumstances

32:00 – Breakthrough Treatments
Clinical trials and new hope

34:30 – Writing Books and Leaving a Legacy
Success vs significance

36:30 – The Four Truths
Mindset, pain, purpose, and perseverance

38:30 – Final Message
What Terry would pass on to the world

Terry Tucker is a former police officer, SWAT hostage negotiator, coach, and author of Sustainable Excellence and Four Truths and a Lie. After being given just two years to live, he has now spent over 14 years navigating life with a rare form of cancer while helping others find purpose, resilience, and meaning.

Life will break you.

But what you become after that…
is up to you.

Not all support looks like what you think it does.

In this episode of After The Fall: After Dark, I sit down with Paul Reeve, CEO of Cornwall Mind, for a grounded, honest conversation about what mental health recovery actually looks like — beyond labels, beyond quick fixes, and beyond the idea that someone else can “fix” you.

This isn’t theory.

This is how it really works.

From Paul’s own journey through burnout and rebuilding, to leading one of the most important mental health organisations in the region, we explore what support truly means — and why recovery is something you have to take ownership of, even when you’re being helped.

We break down how Mind operates, the difference between national and local services, and the reality behind funding, access, and expectations.

More importantly, we talk about people.

The human side of support.
The misconceptions that stop people reaching out.
And the simple truths that actually make a difference.

If you’ve ever felt unsure about asking for help — or expected someone else to fix things for you — this episode will shift your perspective and help remove the uncertainty about getting support from this wonderful organisation and those like it.

What we cover:

• What mental health “recovery” really means
• Why support doesn’t mean being fixed
• The role of self-agency in getting better
• How organisations like Mind actually operate
• The biggest misconceptions about mental health services
• Why community, connection, and activity matter
• The reality of funding and service limitations
• Why early support for children is critical

00:00 – Introduction
After Dark format and meeting Paul Reeve

01:00 – Paul’s Personal Journey
From struggling himself to entering mental health work

03:30 – Frontline Work and Burnout
Compassion fatigue and stepping into leadership

05:30 – Understanding “Mind”
National vs local Mind and how the system works

08:30 – What Recovery Actually Means
Why mental health isn’t “fixed vs broken”

10:30 – Ownership and Self-Agency
Why no one can do the work for you

12:30 – Group-Based Support
Why activity-led environments work better than expected

15:00 – One-to-One Support
Coaching models and building independence

17:00 – Misconceptions About Services
Why people expect to be “fixed”

20:00 – Funding and Limitations
The reality behind what services can provide

21:30 – Meaningful Impact Moments
What real success looks like inside the service

25:00 – If Funding Was Unlimited
Why investing in children matters most

26:30 – The Reading Room
A safe space for connection, community, and conversation

30:30 – Final Message: Be Kinder
A simple principle that changes everything

Paul Reeve is the CEO of Cornwall Mind, part of the wider Mind network supporting mental health across the UK. His work focuses on community-based recovery, self-agency, and building support systems that empower people to move forward.

Not all damage is visible.

In this episode of After The Fall Show, I’m joined by Jodi Pavlock, who shares her lived experience of surviving narcissistic relationships — and what it really means to lose your identity inside them.

From love bombing and control to isolation and emotional erosion, this conversation explores how narcissistic abuse develops, why it’s so hard to see while you’re in it, and what it actually takes to break free.

Jodi speaks openly about the reality behind these relationships — the confusion, the self-doubt, the trauma bonding — and the difficult process of rebuilding yourself once you walk away.

This isn’t a polished or perfect story. It’s a real one.

If you’ve ever questioned yourself in a relationship, felt like you were losing who you are, or struggled to understand why leaving isn’t as simple as it sounds — this conversation will resonate.

• The early signs of narcissistic behaviour
• Love bombing, control, and identity erosion
• Trauma bonding and emotional addiction
• Why leaving isn’t the “easy fix” people think
• Hitting rock bottom and rebuilding from it
• Finding your value again after losing yourself

00:00 – Introduction
Setting the scene: narcissism, identity, and survival

00:20 – Life Before Awareness
Who Jodi was before recognising something was wrong

01:00 – Early Signs of Narcissism
Love bombing, control, and subtle criticism

03:15 – The “Sniff Test”
Key warning signs people often miss early on

05:20 – Identity Loss & Control
How narcissists strip away self-worth

06:50 – When It Starts Getting Worse
The shift from charm to consistent devaluation

08:30 – Public vs Private Abuse
How behaviour escalates and becomes visible

11:20 – Danger & Escalation
Moments where things cross into real risk

13:00 – The Breaking Point
When leaving becomes inevitable

16:30 – Trauma Bonding Explained
Why it feels like addiction, not just love

19:10 – Recovery Isn’t Instant
The reality after leaving — rock bottom first

22:30 – Rebuilding Life
Writing the book, finding direction again

24:00 – Can Narcissists Change?
The truth about personality vs hope

25:45 – Advice for Others
What to watch for and how to protect yourself

27:00 – Finding Your Value Again
Identity, growth, and moving forward

Jodi Pavlock is the author of Jekyll Can’t Hide, a book based on her lived experience with narcissistic abuse and recovery.
Book Link:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Jekyll-Cant-Hyde-Jodi-Pavlock-ebook/dp/B0DQ973ZFQ

You don’t lose your value.
Sometimes it just gets buried under someone else’s control.
But it is still your's to own and there is life after survival.

What happens when a child is told they are broken before life has even properly begun?

In this episode of After The Fall Show, I sit down with Ellen Busch for a powerful conversation about dyslexia, bullying, low self-worth, trauma, healing, and what it means to rebuild a life after being written off by the systems meant to support you.

Ellen shares how her dyslexic journey began in childhood, how the education system underestimated her, and how those early messages shaped her confidence, identity, and sense of worth for years to come. We talk about being treated as less than, surviving school while carrying labels that were never truly yours, and the long shadow those experiences can cast across adult life.

But this episode is not just about dyslexia in school.

It is also about what happens later, when low self-esteem becomes a doorway for harmful people, toxic relationships, and deeper emotional damage. Ellen opens up about stalkers, narcissistic abuse, reaching a breaking point, and the surrender moment that began her journey back to herself.

We also explore healing, self-discovery, the five-mountain approach to growth, and how recovery can move beyond survival into something stronger — a life of confidence, purpose, and thriving.

In this episode we explore:

- dyslexia and childhood school experiences

- bullying, shame, and being written off early

- low self-worth and long-term emotional impact

- predators, narcissistic abuse, and survival

- surrender, recovery, and rebuilding confidence

- self-discovery, healing, and thriving after trauma

- why dyslexia can also be a strength

If you’ve ever felt misunderstood, underestimated, or made to believe you were less than you really are, this episode will speak to you.

Follow After The Fall Show for more raw conversations about falling apart, rebuilding, and rising again.

If you have a powerful story and feel it could help someone else, visit www.AfterTheFallShow.com to find out more about becoming a guest.

To learn more about Icarus, his personal journey, and the Street Therapy approach to recovery, resilience, and personal change, visit www.streettherapy.co.uk

For daily content, reflection, and motivation, follow Icarus on TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@Icarus_Works_UK

To follow Ellen why not visit her website www.ellenbusch.com and her book is available at all major book resellers.

00:00 Introduction

00:48 Ellen’s early dyslexia journey

01:21 Diagnosed young and written off by school

03:33 Intelligence ignored and confidence damaged

04:41 Dyslexia in schools then and now

07:02 What dyslexia felt like inside

08:20 Bullying, shame, and being treated as less than

10:34 Separate classrooms and being marked as different

11:16 The moment life had to change

12:15 Low self-worth, predators, and narcissistic abuse

13:18 Reaching surrender point

15:54 What people get wrong about recovery

16:36 Surrender, survival, and refusing to quit

19:10 Why healing cannot be done alone

20:56 The five-mountain healing journey

23:53 Healing the whole self

25:55 Writing the book and sharing the message

28:29 Striving, reviving, and thriving

29:25 The feather question

30:33 Where to find Ellen and her book

32:11 Closing reflections on dyslexia as a strength

What happens when a broken childhood, parenthood, and the search for meaning all collide?

In this episode of The After The Fall Show, I sit down with Rob from Adeptus Psychonautica for a raw and thought-provoking conversation about childhood trauma, resilience, psychedelics, DMT, ayahuasca, mythology, spirituality, healing, and the search for a guiding star.

Rob shares how growing up in a deeply chaotic and abusive environment shaped his view of life, identity, and survival. We talk about the moment parenthood forced him to reflect on the kind of man he had become, and how that led him to revisit psychedelics not as escape, but as a tool for self-discovery and deeper introspection.

This episode explores profound experiences with DMT, the spiritual and philosophical impact of ayahuasca, the power of mythology, the meaning crisis in modern life, and why healing is not the same as simply having the experience. Rob also speaks honestly about the darker side of psychedelic work, the brutal nature of some healing journeys, and the importance of having a North Star so you do not lose your way.

If you have ever wrestled with trauma, identity, spirituality, meaning, or the question of what really changes a person, this conversation will stay with you.

In this episode we explore:

• childhood trauma and resilience

• becoming a parent and choosing change

• psychedelics as introspection, not escape

• profound DMT experiences

• ayahuasca, healing and difficult journeys

• mythology, spirituality and modern life

• healing versus simply having the experience

• why a guiding star matters

Find Rob on YouTube: Adeptus Psychonautica

Follow The After The Fall Show for more conversations about collapse, reinvention, recovery, identity and rebuilding after the fall.

Chapters:
00:00 Introduction to the episode

00:30 Rob’s early life and broken upbringing

03:53 Finding normality in chaos

07:31 Becoming a parent and the need to change

10:37 Revisiting psychedelics with purpose

14:11 DMT and the profound spiritual experience

19:04 Meaning, mythology and the nature of reality

27:31 Love, connection and the maternal experience

29:08 Ayahuasca and deeper spiritual exploration

30:58 The difficult side of healing

33:56 Ayahuasca, purging and recovery

37:42 How the journey changed Rob as a parent

39:21 Self-discovery, healing and the work afterwards

41:07 Psychedelics, recovery and what people miss

43:46 Spiritual experience and human connection

47:04 The spiritual hole in modern society

51:59 Finding your North Star

57:40 Where to find Rob

What happens when your body starts failing, your identity begins to crack, and the life you built no longer fits who you really are?

In this episode of The After The Fall Show, I sit down with Zorosa for a raw conversation about identity, self-sabotage, failing health, dialysis, organ donation, faith, healing, and purpose.

Zorosa opens up about the cost of trying to fit in, the damage of living out of alignment with who you truly are, and what it feels like when your health rapidly declines and life changes overnight. We talk about the emotional weight of illness, the recovery journey, human resilience, and how faith became a powerful part of her healing.

This episode is about far more than sickness. It is about the moment life strips everything back and asks: who are you really when the mask falls off?

If you’ve ever battled self-sabotage, felt disconnected from your identity, struggled through illness, or tried to rebuild your life after collapse, this conversation will hit home.

In this episode we explore:

• identity and self-sabotage

• the pressure to fit in

• failing health and dialysis

• organ donation and recovery

• faith, healing and purpose

• resilience in the middle of suffering

• the true value of the recovery journey

Follow Zorosa on TikTok: @Zorosacline

More from Street Therapy: www.StreetTherapy.co.uk

Check Zorosa’s TikTok profile link for her YouTube channel

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction

01:00 Meeting Zorosa

02:10 Identity, image and trying to fit in

04:20 Self-sabotage and the damage it causes

06:45 When health starts to fail

09:30 Dialysis, survival and reality hitting hard

12:15 The emotional toll of illness

14:50 Organ donation and the road through recovery

17:40 Faith, healing and a new sense of purpose

21:10 Embracing identity as a Christian

24:20 Why the recovery journey matters

27:00 Human resilience and rebuilding

29:10 Final thoughts

30:00 Where to find Zorosa

Follow The After The Fall Show for more raw conversations about collapse, resilience, reinvention and rebuilding after the fall.

In this "After Dark" - Bonus Episode : Icarus discusses the concept of 'badges' and the impact they have on our lives, emphasizing the need to take a step back and focus on oneself in times of overwhelming stress and anxiety. He provides practical advice on managing the demands of various roles and responsibilities, advocating for a mindful and step-by-step approach to breaking the cycle of anxiety and trauma.

Takeaways

• The concept of 'badges' represents the various roles and responsibilities we carry, which can become overwhelming and stressful.
• Taking a step back, focusing on oneself, and prioritizing tasks mindfully can help break the cycle of anxiety and trauma.

Chapters

• 00:00 The Concept of 'Badges'
• 07:27 Breaking the Cycle of Anxiety and Trauma