What if the weight wearing you out was never yours to carry?

You can carry all of it. You’ve proven that. But in this episode, Dr. Phyllis invites you to pause and ask a deeper question: how much of what is on your plate was ever truly yours? She speaks to the big-hearted woman with a full schedule, a tired soul, and a quiet fear that she has been so busy carrying everyone else’s life that she is flying right over her own.

Through personal story, scripture, and gentle truth, this episode helps you see why carrying everything is not the same as being faithful, and why you were never the glue holding it all together. God is.

This week’s reflection:

What is one thing I have been carrying that God may be asking me to set down?

In this episode:

(0:00) Asking what is actually yours to carry

(2:43) Dr. Phyllis shares how she learned this lesson

(7:20) Lesson 1: You stopped being able to tell what is yours

(9:59) Lesson 2: Carrying everything started looking like virtue

(13:00) Lesson 3: The “glue lie” and the truth that God holds it all

(17:30) Free resource: What’s Yours to Carry?

(19:05) Final encouragement to land whole, aligned, and free

Your next step is already waiting: a guide called What’s Yours to Carry — and What Isn’t, made to walk you through your own plate and help you start sorting this is mine from this was never mine. Go get it at thebelowthecircle.com.

Nothing has been wasted. It’s not too late to land — whole, aligned, free.

———

Get your guide → thebelowthecircle.com

Below the Circle with Dr. Phyllis · Stop circling. Start landing. 🕊️

Scripture: Matthew 11:28–30 · Psalm 46:5 · Colossians 1:17

What are you afraid would fall apart if you stopped holding it all together?

You have been the one who remembers, covers, fixes, plans, and carries what everyone else forgets. You call it responsibility, strength, love, and loyalty. But underneath all that holding may be a quiet fear that if you let go, everything will crash.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis gently speaks to the woman who feels like the glue in everyone’s life and reminds her of this truth: it was never all hers to hold.

Through Colossians 1:17 and Psalm 46:5, this episode points you back to the God who has been holding you, and everything you fear dropping, all along.

This week’s reflection:

What is one small thing I can set down for one hour, and what might God show me when I do?

In this episode:

(0:00) The fear beneath holding it all together

(1:37) The woman everyone calls when things need fixing

(3:45) How you learned to carry so much

(5:33) When being able became feeling obligated

(6:53) The role of “glue” was learned, not given by God

(8:28) The belief that everything depends on you

(9:18) Colossians 1:17 and who truly holds all things

(10:32) Psalm 46:5 and being steady because God is with you

(11:46) The fear that everything falls if you stop

(13:22) One small practice for setting something down

(14:28) What happens when the world keeps turning

(15:31) God is calling you to land

(17:02) Nothing you carried has been wasted

(18:19) Introducing the guide, “What’s Yours to Carry”

(19:49) Stop circling and start landing

Get Dr. Phyllis’s free guide, “What’s Yours to Carry, and What Isn’t,” for the woman who holds everyone together at thebelowthecircle.com.

Have you been holding everyone else together so long that you fear you’ve missed your own life?

You’ve cared deeply, said yes from love, and kept going even when your own heart needed room to breathe. Maybe your full plate is not what is breaking your heart. Maybe it is the quiet fear that while you were taking care of everyone else, you lost touch with yourself.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares the night she stood in her backyard, felt the wind on her face, and realized the life she loved had been waiting for her all along.

This is a gentle reminder that you have not missed your life. The ground is still there. The wind is still blowing.

It is not too late to come down, get aligned, and take off whole and free.

This week’s reflection:

What part of my life have I stopped feeling, and what ordinary moment can help me come back to it?

In this episode:

(0:00) The fear beneath the full plate

(1:50) When did you last feel present in your life?

(3:38) You have not missed your life

(4:27) Dr. Phyllis shares her role as an alignment coach

(6:18) You did not check out, you cared too much

(10:17) The night she felt the ground again

(14:58) What did high-altitude living take from you?

(17:47) Naming the grief under the busy life

(19:49) It is not too late to realign

(22:14) Introducing Align, the coaching community

(25:47) One simple landing moment to try today

(30:25) Share this with a woman who needs hope

Get Dr. Phyllis's Free Answer Guide, “What’s Yours to Carry — and What Isn’t — ten honest answers for the woman who holds everyone together.” Ten questions. Ten honest answers at thebelowthecircle.com.

What weight are you still holding that God has been asking you to release?

You’ve been capable, responsible, prepared, and strong for so long that putting something down may feel like failure. Maybe it’s a role, a title, a seat at the table, or the quiet need to keep proving yourself.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares a personal story from 2020, when she was transitioning out of a leadership role and trying to hold on to another one. What felt like rejection became mercy. God’s “no” became the release she could not choose for herself.

This is a gentle reminder that surrender is not losing your grip. It is placing the weight in the hands that have been open all along.

You are allowed to set it down.

This week’s reflection:

What am I still holding that God has been asking me to release?

In this episode:

(0:29) The question God may be asking you

(2:57) Dr. Phyllis shares her 2020 leadership story

(5:04) Asking God for strength to carry what He was asking her to release

(7:52) The cost of proving yourself

(9:02) When God’s “no” becomes mercy

(12:02) Surrender is placing the weight in God’s hands

(13:16) The Landing Lounge waitlist: thebelowthecircle.com

Get Dr. Phyllis's Free Answer Guide, “What’s Yours to Carry — and What Isn’t — ten honest answers for the woman who holds everyone together.” Ten questions. Ten honest answers at thebelowthecircle.com.

What grief have you been carrying that you’ve been calling strength?

You’ve been busy, capable, dependable, and strong for so long that no one may have noticed how heavy it has become. Maybe even you forgot to ask what pain has been hiding underneath every yes, every role, every title, and every “I’m fine.”

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis shares a tender story of disappointment, loss, and the moment she realized she was not simply being strong. She was grieving. Through Psalm 23 and 1 Peter 5:7, she invites you to stop performing strength, bring your grief into the light, and ask God for the next step, not the whole plan.

You are allowed to set it down.

Get Dr. Phyllis's Free Answer Guide, “What’s Yours to Carry — and What Isn’t — ten honest answers for the woman who holds everyone together.” Ten questions. Ten honest answers at thebelowthecircle.com.

Connect with Dr. Phyllis:

Instagram/Facebook/Tik Tok: @drphyllishayesreams

LinkedIn: @drphyllishayesreams

Who are you when you take off every name tag you wear?

You’ve been so many things to so many people for so long, the woman underneath has gotten quiet. You can’t remember the last time someone asked who you were — not what you do, not who you take care of, not what role you fill — but who you ARE.

In this episode, Dr. Phyllis sits with you at a threshold she’s stood at herself. She tells you the story of the chair in her living room — the moment everything stripped away — and the verse from Luke that gave it language. This isn’t an episode you listen to in the background.

You are allowed to wonder who she is.

This week’s reflection:

Who are you when no one needs anything from you — when every name tag is set down?

Luke 15:17

“And when he came to himself…”

Get Dr. Phyllis's Free Answer Guide, “What’s Yours to Carry — and What Isn’t — ten honest answers for the woman who holds everyone together.” Ten questions. Ten honest answers at thebelowthecircle.com.

Connect with Dr. Phyllis:

IG, FB, Tik Tok: @drphyllishayesreams

When was the last time you were truly present, not planning tomorrow or replaying yesterday? In this heartfelt episode of Below the Circle, Dr. Phyllis invites you to slow down, breathe, and notice where your mind has been living. Through personal stories, scripture, and honest coaching truth, she shares how autopilot can quietly steal our peace, our joy, and the moments happening right in front of us. Using Psalm 118:24, Dr. Phyllis reminds us that today is the day God has made, and presence is not something you have to earn. It is a practice you can begin again, one breath and one moment at a time.

Episode highlights:

(2:40) Welcome to episode 141 and the 52-week descent

(5:48) Today’s core question: when were you fully in a moment?

(7:14) The painful cost of living on autopilot

(9:40) Dr. Phyllis shares her personal story of missing moments

(15:16) Psalm 118:24 and the gift of today

(18:01) Presence is a muscle that can be rebuilt

(23:25) Three reflection questions for the week

(26:05) One simple practice to begin being present

(26:44) Preview of episode 142

(28:23) Invitation to the Landing Lounge

(30:25) Encouragement to share the episode with another woman

Get Dr. Phyllis's Free Answer Guide, “What’s Yours to Carry — and What Isn’t — ten honest answers for the woman who holds everyone together.” Ten questions. Ten honest answers at thebelowthecircle.com.

Connect with Dr. Phyllis: http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams

What if the exhaustion you feel is not weakness, but a warning signal asking you to be honest? In this heartfelt episode of Below the Circle, host Dr. Phyllis speaks to high-achieving women who look fine on the outside but feel empty, numb, and worn down inside. She shares the difference between normal tiredness and deep depletion, reminding listeners that constant pretending can cost them joy, peace, connection, and even a clear sense of self. Through her own story from 2019, Dr. Phyllis opens up about 1overcommitment, guilt, burnout, and the moment she realized something had to change. This episode is a caring call to stop performing, tell the truth, and take the first step toward landing in what matters most.

Episode highlights:

(0:28) The honest question behind “I’m fine.”

(2:31) The difference between tired and depleted

(3:49) Exhaustion is not weakness; it is a signal

(5:13) The hidden cost of pretending you are fine

(6:46) Dr. Phyllis shares her 2019 depletion story

(13:07) The first change needed is honesty

(14:37) Honesty is the runway for landing

(15:17) Permission to stop pretending

(16:18) Preview of next week’s episode on presence

Get Dr. Phyllis's Free Answer Guide, “What’s Yours to Carry — and What Isn’t — ten honest answers for the woman who holds everyone together.” Ten questions. Ten honest answers at thebelowthecircle.com.

Connect with Dr. Phyllis: http://drphyllishayesreams.com/ https://www.instagram.com/drphyllishayesreams/ https://www.facebook.com/phyllis.hayesreams