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Therapist and 12-stepper Josh Walpole shares his personal history with pornography and sexual addiction, and how recovery led him to become a therapist at Circles of Grace (formerly Lifestar). He explores how stories shape recovery, contrasts lying with acceptance and radical honesty, and connects the hero’s journey and redemption arcs to change. He outlines 12-step themes, therapeutic recovery elements, nervous-system regulation and “recognize, respect, regulate, re-story,” and emphasizes sponsorship and hope that recovery is real and possible.

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00:00 Welcome and Keynote Intro
02:26 Meet Josh Walpole
04:13 Buffalo Storm Metaphor
06:09 Why Stories Matter
08:30 Josh's Recovery Story
14:34 Lies to Radical Honesty
19:24 Hero's Journey in Recovery
25:29 Villains and Redemption Arcs
30:08 Pivot Moments and Rock Bottom
33:16 Founders Stories and Pain
38:20 Twelve Steps as a Story
41:19 Therapy Roadmap to Healing
46:19 Brain and Nervous System Stories
51:12 Closing Stories and Sponsorship
55:39 Recovery Is Possible

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Tara McCausland shares an SAL 12 Step Conference keynote presentation by therapist and 12-step participant Amanda Christensen. Amanda explains how childhood power dynamics, explicit and implicit family rules, and family systems patterns can shape secrecy, emotional neglect, perfectionism, and vulnerability to sexual acting out. Amanda shares her own discovery trauma and distinguishes sexual acting-out trauma from deception trauma, emphasizing how secrets and manipulation undermine the betrayed partner’s reality, self-trust, and attachment safety. She outlines common power struggles in couples and within oneself, urging people to exit power battles and move toward surrender and “healthy powerlessness.” She recommends deeper work on underlying wounds through 12-step and therapy, therapeutic disclosure, steps one, four, and nine, transparency agreements, boundaries, and ongoing connection to support healing and choice.

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Understanding Pornography use, Problematic Sexual Behavior and Betrayal Trauma Digital Manual

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SA Lifeline Foundation
SAL 12 Step
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Transcripts

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Host Jonathan L. interviews LMSW Courtney Weaver about finding quality education and qualified therapy for sex addiction and betrayal trauma recovery. Courtney explains key certifications (CSAT, APSAT, CPTT, C-BIRT), how to choose a therapist based on whether someone is an addict or betrayed partner, and what to ask therapists, including their understanding of pornography’s impact, betrayal trauma, and whether they recognize sex addiction as an addiction; she warns against codependency-based approaches that harm partners. They discuss how therapy and 12-step work can complement each other, when sponsors should defer to therapists (especially for trauma and relationship decisions), and how therapy helps identify underlying belief systems, coping patterns, and childhood roots that often stall progress in recovery work. Courtney outlines best practices for full therapeutic disclosure, recommends research-based resources, and suggests telehealth, podcasts, and community supports while seeking qualified care.

See the full list of questions to qualify a therapist HERE.

00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
01:28 Why Therapist Choice Matters
02:06 Decoding the Acronymns
03:24 Picking the Right Therapist For You
04:24 First Therapy Session Questions
06:29 Therapy Modalities Explained
08:53 12 Steps and Therapy Complement Each Other
10:28 Sponsor vs. Therapist Roles
11:57 Surrender and Learning What to Surrender
13:40 Uncovering Trauma
17:17 Full Therapeutic Disclosure Explained
22:00 Finding Quality Education
23:49 SAL and Community Recovery
25:31 Telehealth and Extra Supports
27:04 Closing Encouragement

Support the show

SA Lifeline Foundation
SAL 12 Step
Find an SAL12Step Meeting
Donate
Contact to ask questions or make comments
Transcripts