Reclaiming Your Nervous System, Redefining Success & Breaking Free from Toxic Productivity
"It's not your fault."
That's the first line of the first chapter of Tamu Thomas's groundbreaking book, Women Who Work Too Much: Break Free from Toxic Productivity and Find Your Joy . And in this powerful conversation, Tamu invites us to exhale, soften, and finally ask ourselves: What if I'm not broken, what if the system is?
Tamu Thomas is a transformational somatic leadership coach, former social worker, and author whose work sits at the intersection of nervous system regulation, social justice, and women's liberation. Her message is both a balm and a wake-up call: our value is not in what we do, but in who we already are.
In this soul-stirring episode of The Wild Woman with Sarah Diop, Tamu and Sarah explore:
- Why women end up over-functioning just to survive and why it's not your fault
- The myth of "having it all" and the infrastructure that was never built to support it
- How the industrial revolution taught us to judge our humanity against the standard of machines
- Why women wax and wane like the moon and how our cycles impact our nervous systems, productivity, and sense of self
- The autonomic ladder: what it is, how it works, and how to befriend your nervous system
- The difference between toxic productivity and natural productivity
- Why "positive mindset" can become the nectar of capitalism—and how to tell the difference between genuine optimism and toxic positivity
- The liberating power of redefining success on your own terms
- A powerful story of a woman who chose a part-time bakery job over a six-figure business—and why that was the most empowered choice she could make
If you've ever found yourself googling productivity hacks when what you really need is rest… if you've ever dismissed your body's signals and pushed through anyway… if you've ever felt like you're running on empty but can't figure out how to stop, this episode is for you.
Key Themes We Explore
✨ It's Not Your Fault – The personal development industry often implies we're broken. Tamu flips the script: you're over-functioning because the system wasn't built for you to thrive.
✨ Waxing and Waning Like the Moon – Women's energy ebbs and flows with their cycles. We've been taught to judge ourselves by our ovulation-phase selves—and it's destroying us.
✨ The Autonomic Ladder – A simplified guide to your nervous system: ventral (connection + safety), sympathetic (motivation + ambition), dorsal (collapse + rest). We travel up and down this ladder all day—and that's normal.
✨ Toxic Productivity vs. Natural Productivity – Pushing through at all costs vs. flowing with your energy. One leads to burnout. The other leads to joy.
✨ Redefining Success – Success isn't one size fits all. For one woman, it was a six-figure business. For another, it was a part-time bakery job that let her pick up her kids from school. Both are valid. Both are powerful.
✨ The Nectar of Capitalism – Toxic positivity keeps us divided, distracted, and buying solutions to problems that require collective care.
Connect with Tamu Thomas
Website: www.livethreesixty.com
Instagram: @tamu.thomas
TikTok: @tamu_thomas
Book: Women Who Work Too Much – Available at Hay House and all major booksellers
WOMEN WHO WORK TOO MUCH
WEBSITE
Chapters - (00:00:00) - The Wild Woman
- (00:00:51) - In Women Who Work Too Much
- (00:04:47) - How to Stop Judging Yourself Based on Your Period
- (00:12:02) - In the Elevator With Women
- (00:14:12) - Toxic Positive Mindset
- (00:20:09) - How to Pick Up Women Who Work Too Much
- (00:20:25) - The Wild Woman: Spotlight Guests