Last week, we redefined the mental load. This week, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino ask the harder question:

What do you actually do about it?

In Part 2 of our conversation with Professor Leah Ruppanner, we move from awareness to action.

Because once you realise you’re not just carrying one mental load (but eight) it can feel even heavier.

So how do you:

• stop feeling responsible for everything?

• challenge the “shoulds” shaping your decisions?

• share the load in a way that actually works?

Leah introduces a powerful reframe: The goal isn’t doing more. The goal is being intentional about what you carry, and what you don’t.

From dropping unnecessary standards to recognising how social norms quietly increase your load, this episode is about reclaiming your time, energy, and headspace.

You don’t need to carry it all. In fact, you were never meant to.

Click here to find out more about Professor Leah Ruppaner

• Measure your mental load - Lighten Lab

• Buy Drained now

• Listen to Leah on Miss Perceived Podcast

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview.

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

This week, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino sit down with Professor Leah Ruppanner to unpack one of the most misunderstood (and underestimated) forces shaping modern relationships: the mental load.

Leah is Professor of Sociology at the University of Melbourne and Founder of LightenLab. She is the author of Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More and Motherlands: How States Push Mothers Out of Employment.

Drawing on years of global research and hundreds of interviews, Leah challenges the narrow way we’ve been taught to think about it. Because it’s not just about remembering the shopping list or organising the calendar.

It’s emotional, it’s invisible. it’s boundaryless. And crucially, it doesn’t stop.

From “emotional thinking work” to the eight different types of mental load we’re all carrying, this conversation explains why even the most well-intentioned, modern couples still feel overwhelmed—and what we’ve been missing all along.

Click here to find out more about Leah Ruppaner

• Measure your mental load - Lighten Lab

• Buy Drained now

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview.

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

What if the way you’ve been measuring yourself as a parent is the very thing making it harder?

In this raw and reflective “After the Interview” episode, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino unpack the uncomfortable truths from their conversation with parenting expert Anita Cleare, and what it actually means to live those insights in real life.

Because it’s one thing to say “focus on the relationship, not the outcome.” But it’s another thing entirely when your child is:

• having a meltdown in public

• pushing boundaries

• or making choices you fundamentally disagree with

Together, we explore:

• Why even “progressive parenting” is still often outcome-driven

• The hidden pressure of constantly evaluating your child’s behaviour

• What “being in relationship” actually looks like in difficult moments

• Why letting go of control feels so uncomfortable (especially for high-achievers)

• The tension between preparing your child for the real world vs staying connected to them

• And the surprising question every couple should ask before (or during) parenthood

Meet our guest, Anita Cleare, here. Author of:

• The Work/Parent Switch (UK)

• (The Working Parent’s Survival Guide in the USA)

• How To Get Your Teenager Out Of Their Bedroom

Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview.

Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.