In this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success, Cindy Esliger explores a difficult truth about career growth: not everyone in a professional circle is invested in seeing someone succeed. She explains how women in engineering and other male-dominated workplaces can mistake politeness for genuine support, especially when supportive relationships feel scarce. Cindy challenges us to stop assuming that proximity equals loyalty and instead become intentional about who we trust, who we seek advice from, and who we allow to influence important career decisions.

Cindy outlines how to see five warning signs that someone may not be the ally they appear to be: 1. Watch how people react to our wins, 2. Notice who only reaches out when they need something, 3. Pay attention to chronic interrupters and dismissals, 4. Watch what people do when we show vulnerability, and 5. Watch for the people who introduce us as one of the boys, not as unique. She also challenges several flawed beliefs that keep us stuck in unhelpful relationships, including the idea that any mentor is better than no mentor, that networking means being nice to everyone, and that toxic relationships should be maintained because they might be useful someday.

To build a stronger support system, Cindy encourages us to create a career board of directors intentionally made up of five key roles: 1. Cheerleaders, 2. Allies, 3. Mentors, 4. Advocates, and 5. Supporters. She also shares six practical strategies for evaluating current relationships, creating distance from energy-draining connections, building honest feedback loops, and ensuring a support network evolves alongside career goals. Her message is clear: a carefully curated inner circle is not just a nice-to-have. It can become a powerful competitive advantage.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Auditing Your Career Circle
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success, Cindy Esliger dives into an uncomfortable workplace reality: some people genuinely want to see us succeed, while others see us as a convenient stepping stone for their own advancement. She explains how many of us, especially women in male-dominated environments, are conditioned to be helpful and accommodating without questioning whether those relationships are reciprocal. Cindy discusses how misplaced loyalty, people-pleasing, and a lack of discernment lead us to invest valuable time and energy in relationships that drain our resources while advancing someone else's agenda.

Cindy examines four limiting beliefs that keep us trapped in unhealthy workplace dynamics: 1. We should help everyone who asks because it’s the right thing to do. 2. If we’re too cautious about who we trust, we’ll seem paranoid or difficult. 3. We need to prove our worth by being selfless and accommodating. 4. Everyone is watching and judging us, so we can’t afford to be selective. She also shares six warning signs that someone may see us as a pawn rather than a valued colleague, including one-sided reciprocity, private support without public backing, credit and recognition issues, emotional manipulation, energy draining interactions, and gaslighting disguised as support.

To help us build healthier professional relationships, Cindy outlines five overlooked insights. She encourages perspective taking, understanding the difference between commitment and compliance, paying attention to specific recognition, remembering that most people are focused on themselves, and recognizing that people get more of what they tolerate. She then details six practical strategies that help us focus on what we can control: 1. Develop a boundary script arsenal, 2. Address issues early, 3. Shift our self-talk, 4. Anticipate the testing of our boundaries, 5. Move beyond our fear of judgment, and 6. Follow through. Cindy challenges us to conduct an energy audit of our workplace relationships and invest intentionally in people who genuinely support our growth and long-term success.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Building Your Real Support System At Work
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode of Stop Sabotaging Your Success, Cindy Esliger explores why so many professionals achieve a goal only to immediately move the goalposts and focus on what is still not enough. She explains how productivity can become a form of self-soothing, especially in environments where recognition is scarce and we feel we need to constantly prove our value. Cindy examines the connection between achievement and self-worth, and why relying on external validation creates a cycle where success never feels satisfying.

We need to learn to distinguish between productive discomfort and true misalignment. Productive discomfort signals growth and expansion into new territory, while misalignment feels like climbing a ladder that’s leaning against the wrong wall. Cindy challenges us to evaluate whether we’re pursuing goals that genuinely reflect our values or are simply chasing recognition that may never arrive. She also outlines five beliefs that keep us trapped in moving our own goalposts: 1. If we keep proving ourselves, we’ll finally be recognized, 2. Slowing down or setting boundaries will make us seem uncommitted, 3. We can’t afford to make mistakes or show vulnerability, 4. We need to do it all to prove we can handle it, and 5. Changing direction means we failed.

Cindy outlines six workplace red flags that can normalize this pattern and seven practical strategies to regain control: 1. Design our own scorecard, 2. Distinguish between productive and performative work, 3. Set boundaries as strategic career moves, 4. Channel anxiety into action, not affirmation, 5. Build selective vulnerability, 6. Create decision criteria for our career ladder before we pursue a new goal, and 7. Practice less control. Cindy’s message is that success should be measured by alignment with personal values, not by endlessly chasing validation. Sometimes the bravest career move is recognizing that a path no longer fits and giving ourselves permission to choose a different one.

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Guide to Recognizing When You're Moving Your Own Goalposts
• Astronomic Audio
• Confidence Collective

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Contact Cindy Esliger

Career Confidence Coaching: website | instagram | facebook | linkedin | email

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.